me realizing my experiences with sewing have been a lie this whole goddamn time:

My granny taught me these. We called them.blind stitches.

Wow I didn’t kno

Okay so like…A few weeks ago I saw this in a dollar store and thought it was pretty neat so I bought it

and now I’m wondering if I jinxed myself because like a couple of weeks after, I  bought this:

he’s looking more and more like the plate every day, i think i did accidentally buy a prophetic plate

I think the brown is taking over purposely so he can match the plate???

getting entirely too similar for comfort

possibly he is growing to match the plate?

the portrait of Doggian Gray

This motherfucker was walking around Comic-Con in a hyper-realistic Walter White/Bryan Cranston mask

guess who was underneath this Bryan Cranston mask

fucking Bryan Cranston.

Aaron Paul’s face is like a million different cries for help all molded into one expression

Vessels designed specifically for screaming

Babak Golkar, Time to Let Go, 2014

I need this right nown

Not wearing glasses anymore. I’ve seen enough

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

truer words

I’ll represent you in court :)

Isn’t it consensual when she gave him the photos when they were together 🔚

From a lawyer: “The photos were consensual. But she did not consent to distribution “

He really thought he did something with that comment and his lil stank emoji at the end lol

Reblog to save a LIFE dat shit is not ok

for the ladies, and even gentlemen, who follow me and find themselves in this situation.

Same goes for you Men. If your ex leaks photos of your dick or any videos you sent her, you can sue too. Yea, giving the photos with consent is Aight, but spreading them around and “exposing” Ain’t it chief

LETS NOT FORGET IN SOME STATES REVENGE PORN IS CONSIDERED DOMESTIC ABUSE

The spiritual successor to Miette

Might I also add

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

don’t say anything, just reblog

(via)

It’s “that” scene again

Juice taste better when you stand there and drink it with the refrigerator door open

This Palo Santo Wood when burned creates a “mini sunset” effect      

Source                   

tumblr is just talking to yourself but for an audience

That’s called a soliloquy.

found the theatre kid. get em boys.

a roadtrip where you get to see all the friends youve made online

what about your friends overseas?

I love it when I click on a recipe link because it sounds yummy and instead of a recipe I get a several page dissertation on a food blogger’s boredom with her marriage and lies she was told in childhood

this ending in a recipe literally changed my fucking life i thought i was being spread some fucking truisms abt the ugliness of marriage but it was literally a preamble to creme brulee brownies. writing is fake

Can we consider how many people Toph caused internal bleeding and broken bones?

oh honey they are fully dead

No but Toph was a professional earthbending wrestler with the power to feel the whole human body at once through vibrations with enough accuracy to tell lies. She knows exactly how much pressure the human body can take before important things start breaking or I’ll go buy a hat for the sole purpose of eating it.

oh, sure. she doesn’t care though. she’s 12 and she’s thriving and she loves to murder

Aang: I have to defeat Ozai, but I don’t think I can murder anyone

Toph: I can do it.

Aang:

Toph: I’ve killed like 20 people since we met

Aang:

Sokka:

Katara:

Toph: I mean you guys have killed a bunch of people too

Aang: what no I haven’t I’ve never killed anyone!

Toph: twinkletoes you pick people up and drop them and blow them into walls. katara hits people with water hard enough to throw them to the ground and encases them in ice. Zuko’s straight-up throwing fire at people. Sokka hits people with a club.

Katara:

Aang:

Sokka:

Toph: when you hit people really hard they often die. I mean, I feel it every time. not counting the head trauma and frostbite that probably means they die later.

Toph: ….did you guys not know you were killing people?

Zuko: I mean I wasn’t going to bring it up but she’s right

Toph: I thought we were all doing it on purpose!

Zuko: it’s all in self-defense, it’s not like we’re going out of our way to kill people, but these things happen. Sometimes people have to die to protect everyone else. I thought you understood that already

Katara:

Sokka:

Aang:

Aang:

Aang: *extremely loud airbender scream*

[Aang  looks to all the other Avatars]

[All of them but Kyoshi avoid his eyes]

Kyoshi - I don’t see what the problem is

It’s an earthbender thing

aang: Oh wisdom of Avatars past, advise me on how to defeat Ozai

kiyoshi: sometimes you gotta murder a bitch, kid. don’t know what else to tell you

aang:

aang: can I talk to a different  ancestor please? maybe one not so down with murder?

the way they slowly scoot over 😂😭

THE WHOLESOME