My little sister's new boyfriend got a tattoo for her about a month ago and he wanted matching tattoos so he decided to get uh. The tattoo on her ankle of her ex boyfriend's name that she hasn't gotten covered up yet
She broke up with him but I also just got the same tattoo
OK my dad also got it
DYLAN!
It took five months but we finally convinced my stepmom to also get it
YOUNG WOMAN - Actually, detective, I'm a woman.
EMPATHY [Easy: Success] - She says it so insistently, as if arguing with you. You may have upset her.
COMPOSURE [Formidable: Failure] - You feel a pit in your stomach. You did something wrong, but you don't know what.
LOGIC [Trivial: Success] - Her way of dressing, the feminine name, yet deep voice - it should have been clear to you sooner. She's transgender.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Formidable: Success] - Almost imperceptible, the lieutenant anxiously twitches his eyebrow.
DAMAGED MORALE - 1
ENCYCLOPEDIA [Trivial: Success] - A transgender person is someone who does not identify with the gender they were assigned at birth. Oftentimes they will dress conforming to their desired gender roles, change their names, and seek medical intervention to, "transition."
RHETORIC [Medium: Success] - Just as Mazov dared to challenge the established order of capitalism, so too do others challenge the order of things such as sex and gender.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY [Trivial: Success] - IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE WE'VE FELT THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN. WHO CARES IF SHE USED TO BE A MAN? HAVE SEX WITH HER NOW! ITS WHAT A REAL MAN WOULD DO!
EMPATHY - [Trivial: Success] - Don't do that. It's clear now, you upset her for accidentally calling her a man. Just apologize.
COMPOSURE [Medium: Failure] - Profusely.
ESPIRIT DE CORPS [Medium: Success] - It's important to be a good ally.
DRAMA [Medium: Success] - Make a real show of it, sire!
HIGH 83% +1 Found testosterone ampoule on nightstand. +1 Homo-Sexual Underground. +1 Read about the turn of the century thespians. -1 Recovered your gun. -1 Masculinity challenged. This is a Red Check. It cannot be retried.
⚀⚀
CHECK FAILURE
YOU - You try and come up with the words to convey your apology to the young woman, but you come up blank. It's hard to fit, "transgender" into iambic pentameter, as it turns out.
DRAMA - I'm sorry, sire. I have failed you.
KIM KITSURAGI - "Detective? You've been standing there for a whole minute. Are you okay?"
ESPIRIT DE CORPS - Shit, the lieutenant is onto us. We have to say something soon, or we could lose him.
COMPOSURE [Trivial: Success] - Don't worry, we can still salvage this. Anyone have any ideas?
VOLITION [Heroic: Failure] - Let me handle this.
You - "I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm such a fucking failure. Do you want me to kill myself?"
Spotify put a Bernie sanders speech in my discover weekly 😭
something im noticing is the redditors are just commenting on everything via reblogs with reckless abandon. and its so funny bc thats how youre MEANT to use this fucking website but we've trained ourselves out of it somehow.
I feel like a fucking chimp raised in a lab let out into the wild and just doing shit without understanding wtf is going on because I was raised to click the button to get cookie
look, that one's trying to upvote
Sub-Radio, the band that did Stacy's Dad, coming out with another banger for Pride.
i don’t understand? they’re just playing the black parade?
someone should have sex
not it
#can someone please explain the origins of the ‘CELIBACY’ boy band gif to me? #I have yet to figure them out via @platypusparfait
so the original clip is when BTS was on james corden's show, and even the interview itself is so funny bc like one day before they came on his show, corden made fun of BTS fans and essentially said they're all ~dumb teenage girls~ and therefore their opinions don't matter, and obviously the fans did their usual thing on social media and nobody cared because it's james corden
BTS comes on the show the next day, they immediately bring it up and call him out on it, they obviously all hate his ass (and they never come on his show again), corden's making excuses for himself and avoiding accountability and being like "poor me i'm the real victim here!!!!!" and one of them literally responds to that by interrupting him and saying "we accept your apology :)"
after that, someone made this tiktok (and i saved it bc it makes me cry laugh every time):
and then someone used that tiktok to make the gif, and as far as i can tell, the first ever use of the gif was on the celibacy sweep tumblr poll:
I am going to spit on Thomas Edison's grave
Its really shocking how much evil shit can be traced by to Thomas Edison and Henry Ford
Plot twist: Thimas Edison actually invented something and it Fucking Sucked.
god gives his coolest girlfriends to his most loser reddit bros
100% serious request:
Someone matched with me on a dating app and then told me he’s been cheating on his girlfriend of 5 years. I have pics of his face and first name and job. If you think you can help me find out who he is pls dm me.
Reddit started removing moderators from protesting subreddits, so /r/PoliticalHumor just made all their over one million subscribers moderators.
have y'all actually seen the picture of whatshisface's documents? im losing my mind
who the fuck lives like this? why is there a chandelier? how are you gonna have this crystal lighting, and then have this cheap-ass tissue box? what the hell does he do if he actually has to sit on the toilet? is that a shower behind all those boxes? you're just gonna cut off an entire, perfectly functionable bathroom like that? a bathroom, once again, with a crystal chandelier? DOES HIS OTHER BATHROOMS ALSO HAVE CRYSTAL CHANDELIERS??
