hey.

The side of squidward we see vs the side of squidward the media doesn’t show 

im glad dogs cant read the “no dogs allowed” signs so they dont feel sad & left out

What in God’s name is business casual

Thanks I got the job!

ariana grande’s enunciation reminds me of the time i was sucking dick and the guy asked me a question in the middle that isn’t a yes-or-no type like “oh fuck when’s the last time you’ve been deepthroated?” and i try to respond with a dick suffocating me like “lungaweeffawgho” and while moaning, he goes “aah wha?” but my answer shouldn’t matter cause what’s important is he’s having a good time like how i enjoy ari’s songs even when i dont understand what she’s saying

Perhaps i will drink my sorrows away.. *opens up capri sun*

ooooo yea

the best part of being an adult is watching your friends also be adults

t’challa: give me an army

m’baku:

current lunch time experience

aw cool starbucks is playing Africa > wow Africa is a lot longer than i remember > this starbucks has Africa on repeat

as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.

I feel personally attacked by this post because it speaks to me on a deep and personal level.

I am speechless I knew he was a fucking idiotic dumbass but not that he literally has the intelligence of an ant. Actually that’s insulting to ants.

don’t you ever speak to me or my sons again

Straight Outta Answers

There was an attempt

Sandra Oh wins the Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series at the Screen Actors Guild Awards for ‘Killing Eve’

Shoutout to all the people who are trying hard to be more positive and make meaningful changes in their lives and work towards recovery because it’s hard and people definitely don’t say it enough, but focusing on yourself is very difficult & the progress you’re making is valuable.