need a bi4bi t4t m/f pairing where the girl is a giant freak and not in the "cute manic pixie" way but in the "unethical experiments in my fucked up laboratory" way and the guy is a golden retriever who thinks he can fix her. and he brings her cute bento lunches and she's like "bradley shut up put on your fucking gloves and hold this possum down so i can graft these giant grasshopper legs to it"
your brain is unfathomably colossal
“well if you like this fictional couple you must clearly be projecting onto one of them” i would be the bisexual unicorn bandaid to their messy divorce and make things worse for them both
me as a youtuber making thousands of dollars off of video essays paraphrasing the Wikipedia articles for horrific travesties throughout European and Asian history: uhh okay I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that one 😂
Anonymous asked:
How do i top my boyfriend?? I dont know how ill see him that way, i haven't done it with him before
ill do it. since you are so fucking complicated
monday afternoon baby we gettin it!!!!!
drkshdwbnch
if you warch all this you get to belive
This is it. This is the funniest thing I have ever seen.
it’s so stupid that you can’t think your way out of the mental health trenches. like you can know exactly what is wrong, why it’s upsetting you, and you can walk yourself through all of it logically and Understand it but your brain just responds like
no piece of supernatural commentary will ever be as impactful as ‘what happened to all the pussy on supernatural’
Been on my mind
this is the amazon review that dean leaves on carver edlund's latest book after googling and failing his 20th online Am I Gay test
this video has invaded my brain
👹 yo bro 👋 come over here 👋 come over here check out my new shoes they’re the 👹 BRAND NEW ☺️ oooone twoo~ buckle my shoooooe~ 🤗 threee four~ buckle some mooooore~ 😇 fiiiive six, nike kicks! 👹 OOHOOHOOHOO that is so FIRE! 🧍🏼♂️ ahahahaha
we’re not allowed to sing or play this video out loud at my house because it immediately ruins my dad’s whole day
grfld45
.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.
My grip will rip your junk off, chew it up, and spit it back at you.
you either deactivate young or live long enough to see a mirror dimension version of your account kill indiscriminately on the dashboard
Imagine how I feel
ADHD
Add onto this the constant feeling of being overwhelmed. You didn’t get the laundry done yesterday and now there are piles of it. You forgot to take out the chicken so now you’re trying to throw something together for dinner at 9 pm. You forgot to order your prescription and now it’s the weekend so you’re going to go without for 2 days. There are dishes in the sink. You forgot to plug in the vacuum so now you can’t even clean the floor. There are hobbies you can’t do because you’ve convinced yourself you aren’t allowed to experience fun until the work is finished. Slowly, it all builds and you are left sitting there with so much to do and the inability to organize tasks leaves you paralyzed and lost amid everything! Honestly, you fucking break down crying because you feel like an incomplete person incapable of caring for themselves.
i have lots of flaws but i do at least take a fair amount of comfort knowing that, if i were a customer NPC in a fast food/retail management game, i would be one of the chill early-level ones that can wait a super long time before they start getting impatient, and you breathe a sigh of a relief when you see them show up in a harder level
