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my heart is an addams

@zombeesknees / zombeesknees.tumblr.com

angie bee | 36. she/her. inclusive feminist ace. freelance writer. novelist. pop culture pundit. bookseller. i promise i will never bury my gays -- only immortal queers from me. also guaranteed HEAs, lots of sweet tropes, spicy smut, and colorful characters. buy my books at blurb.com.

piranesi vi, giovanni piranesi // the haunting of hill house, dir. mike flanagan // bony legs, joanna cole & dirk zimmer // midsommar, dir. ari aster // murder of agamemnon, pierre-narcisse guérin // game of thrones: a man without honor, dir. david nutter // goodnight mommy, dir. veronika franz & severin fiala // it, dir. andy muschietti // hereditary, dir. ari aster // crimson peak, dir. guillermo del toro // the vigil, dir. keith thomas // house of leaves, mark z. danielewski // spike field, safdar abidi // i’m thinking of ending things, dir. charlie kaufman // the lighthouse, dir. robert eggers // relic, dir. natalie erika james // annihilation, dir. alex garland // anatomy, kitty horrorshow

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Just a reminder my blog is trans inclusive. It’s bi inclusive. It is pan inclusive. It is intersex inclusive. It is ace/asexual inclusive. It is aro/aromantic inclusive. It is queer inclusive.

I don’t support terfs or exclusionists.

If you came here looking for an ally in your bigotry you came to the wrong blog. Go away. You are not welcome here.

I need someone to argue why Barbie would beat Batman.

She's smarter than him, because she's an omnipotent, immortal being who's lived an infinite amount of multiverse lives, which she can access at will, at any time. She has been everything from a scuba diver to a painter to a yoga instructor, but she is also a marine and a paratrooper and a doctor and a detective. She's been in the navy and the air force. She's qualified for the Olympics and is a master of at least karate. Probably more martial arts since she's been in multiple branches of the military.

Plus that's not even counting the fact that she also has fairy powers, multiple forms of princess magic, and access to star trek technology.

And then we get into super hero powers, because if we assume that this Barbie has access to all of her powers, equipment, and memory, then Barbie has had crossovers with DC and marvel.

She's been supergirl, Batgirl, Harley Quinn, Elektra, and wonder woman, and I know at least wonder woman can kick batman's ass, with or without Barbie's infinite composite knowledge.

She's also been Jean Grey/Dark Phoenix, which means she has access to the Phoenix Force, and I think she honestly could've beaten Thanos. Alone.

And she could've used his gauntlet without dying.

So we have a Barbie that knows everything, having lived millions of multiverse lives and knowing about every single one.

She's been an expert in subjects that Batman probably hasn't ever touched or even considered.

She trumps him in intelligence. Then if we allow her access to her powers as a super hero, then she has more than enough fire power to fight him, toe to toe, and then some.

I know he's fought more powerful people than him, but I'm not sure if he's ever fought someone as overpowered as Barbie.

But I also think Barbie would win because she's got no psychological weaknesses.

She's smarter, she's wiser, she's been a therapist for a plethora of characters. She knows when to fight and when to quit. She's been just about every form of athlete too, so she has stamina and endurance and knows how to pace herself. She helps people without force, but could absolutely use it if she needed to. She's been an astrophysicist and an engineer and just about every form of doctor.

So she's pretty much got him totaled in terms of stats.

I think the people know this.

I think the people understand that Barbie's powers are almost incomprehensible to the average mortal man.

And batman's great and all, but he could not defeat Barbara Millicent Roberts. He'd put up a good fight, but she's too strong.

Very funny to me Benoit Blanc seems to be just… happily married.

None of that Sherlock “his intellect distances from everyone you’ll never understand”

Not even the Poirot“ah non, je suis un confirmed bachelor, no relationships for me”

Just a nice smart guy who solves mysteries, fucks rich people up and goes home to his husband and fresh baked sourdough

I really extremely disagree with this and in fact worry that we are conflating "making it accessible" with "dumbing it down" which does nobody any favors. Poetry doesn't have to be badly written and empty of all meaning to be "accessible," and if you want poetry that "doesn't require your brain" then frankly you don't want poetry.

The poet Hera Lindsay Bird recently did some light defacing of Rupi Kaur and I found the poems much improved