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The Vampire Chronicles Insane Lore Iceberg

when I was around twelve I used to sit at the family computer and send hatemail to a white french dude named Jacques who was a self proclaimed communist on Tumblr. This was back in the day when you didn't need a blog to send anon hate. I had no real beef with him but I just didn't like his tone. used to send him "SHUT UP Jacques" periodically. and he'd answer every single one of my asks like "who is this?? show your face or I'll fucking kill you" and I'd be like "now now, that doesn't make sense, jacques" all haughty and he'd get so fucking mad at me. One time he posted a selfie and I sent him an ask claiming I was a psychologist and that his hair parting suggested that he wasn't a communist at all. and he took it deliriously serious and went off on a 2,000 word rant. I can remember going to stay at my grandparents over that weekend, so I didn't even respond to the rant until I came back. I could've chosen to end it there, but when I returned, I sent him another ask which was like "psychologist here again: if you were a communist your hair parting would be in the middle. evenly distributed. All behavioural signs point to someone who doesn't take their own values seriously." and he went ballistic. really swearing at me. all caps type beat. he never turned the asks off, btw. which always made me wonder if he didn't know how to, or if he didn't want to cause he was convinced he was fighting a war, and this action would ensure he lost it. anyway this went on for weeks until one day I completely forgot about him like he was some kind of childhood imaginary friend I'd conjured up in my loneliness. but yesterday I happened to recall the whole scenario, because my buddy was like "remember when you were twelve and I came over to your house, and you showed me on the computer how you'd been terrorizing this random French guy for days on end. And you were laughing like fucking crazy. and I said it wasn't funny because he probably had problems, and you were like 'oh.' and you looked a bit guilty for a second, but then you went and got a grapefruit from the kitchen and threw it out of the second story window at my kid brother, who was playing in the street, and then you started laughing again?" Well. when she put it like that, needless to say I felt bad. so Jacques if you're out there I'm sorry I was such a little shit. you had totally normal hair, and you only wanted people to share stuff. If it's any consolation I know every day of my life that I'm probably going to hell for the sick things I have done

@hyonxx i absolutely would draw patrochilles <3

yoo imma fight a river god

ive been rereading the vampire lestat. nicki makes me feel ways

Sometimes I wonder if maybe I’m just too hard on the kids. They drive me crazy and some classes I just can’t connect with at all. I think about individual kids and how much backtalk, bullshit, and disrespectful language they throw at me and wonder if maybe I was better I could make them better too.

I hate to reward the bare minimum but some days it’s like the only motivation I can ever give them is only a reward for doing work that is literally beneficial to their lives. I don’t see why you need a jolly rancher for not jumping up to flip off a classmate behind you. Or for turning in an assignment on time. Or for not screaming at the top of your lungs when I’m giving instruction.

In what way will that make you a functional person?

I give candy to kids that I never have to badger to turn in their work — who clean their desk without being asked — who may not make great grades but try so hard it makes me wanna cry.

I give candy to kids that sit too quietly in the back of the class and lay their head down most days but answered questions today. To kids that talk about a hard time with their parents divorce and kids who ask me for help with their assignments only when needed. To kids who act like I’m there because I want to be there with them — because what other reason would I be there?

It’s not like the pay is attractive. Gave up a better job to be with a bunch of ungrateful assholes who talk to me just as bad as all those awful hotel guests…maybe worse some days. But I live for the times I can finally be kind. It’s not often but when I can it’s like that’s it.

That’s why I deal with it.

That’s what makes this job better. Because I get to tell a middle schooler that I have a manga shelf and her eyes sparkle — Because I get to compliment the choir on how well they sang at their concert and they run off stage to come give me a hug — because a kid can ask me if I could turn down the lights for her headache and I get to do that for her. It’s such a privilege and I always wish those moments could be everyday.

I don’t know. I think I’d be better if someone could tell me if I’m doing this right but nobody ever really could.

So I guess I’ll just keep trying my best.

imagine being Louis and finally making it to Paris and meeting new vampires and trying to move on from everything that happened in New Orleans and then walking in the door to your new crush's house and seeing a framed portrait of your dead husband on the wall

no wonder he sets the whole place on fire

young armand/amadeo 🤏🤏

HEY that's MY emotional support morally ambiguous misunderstood full of trauma touch starved yearning for love drenched in blood responsible for numerous atrocities comfort character who is TRYING & u will TREAT them with RESPECT

one of my favorite things about my job that i can say to people that sounds utterly ridiculous but is technically 100% true is that one of our sea turtles keeps trying to get me to commit a felony on her behalf and gets SUPER cranky when i won’t do it

this is because she is spoiled rotten and LOVES head and shell scritches. every time i go to the tank she’s in to collect water samples while she happens to be awake and swimming near the surface, she sees my hand enter the water and immediately comes over to try and get my attention, headbutting the dive platform and splashing water at me and generally making a huge fuss.

unfortunately, because she is also a ~100yr old green sea turtle, i legally cannot touch her. she’s a protected species, and a fairly prominent individual at that, and im not one of the aquarists who dives into that tank NOR am i a vet, so i’m not among the handful of people who are ALLOWED to give her scratchies. she knows all of the divers personally, and knows that i am not one of them. she doesn’t care. she wants attention and because she’s the specialest princess in the entire universe she will do anything in her power to get it.

she also throws a big ol tantrum when i end up not petting her. she’ll stick up her head to snort water at me, slap at the platform and ladder with her fins, and then swim under the dive platform and bump her shell against the bottom — she’s a 500lb turtle, which is a lot of weight for her to be throwing around. i usually have to move pretty quick to get off the platform and onto solid ground cuz there have been times where i’ve genuinely felt like i was about to lose my balance and REALLY didn’t want to end up falling into the tank.

^ myrtle, throwing a tantrum because she was unsuccessful at peer pressuring me into violating the endangered species act

it’s cold but it’s pretty like him (will made his scarf guys, it has a little sewed on tag that says “made with 🤍 by william”)

art for a dtiys I’m hosting over on twitter

god grant me the serenity to eroticize what i cannot change

my estimation is that the reason the calls for global strike tomorrow (dec 11th) seem uncoordinated is because they're coming from inside palestine and were shared by palestinians inside palestine instead of being organized independently by each country. they seem most focused within the west bank and jordan.

however, we've seen a lot of people worldwide take up this call and several organizers within the US and other countries do it in their own way. one of the primary asks is to just disrupt the global market. if you can't call in sick and must go to work, then don't use your credit card tomorrow. some have said don't log into facebook and instagram—sure. that too. if you can participate in protests after work instead, do that. if you are not an essential worker, if you can shut down a store, and bookstore, if you have a small business, make sure to let people know you are not working because you are striking for palestine. if you're a student and you can, don't go to class. if you're a teacher and you can, call in sick. if you have exams (as many do) you can just refrain from buying anything, join a protest after, or share the boycott news. one student not showing up may not do much—three students not showing up reminds people that there's a strike. talking about it, even if you won't participate in it, helps. talking about it, even just to say "oh there's supposed to be a strike today" helps.

it is a flexible form of disruption. the priority is disrupting businesses and the flow of commerce, so more than not going to work, not using your credit card is far more important.

consider this a trial run in disruption on behalf of those inside palestine. yes bigger and more organized global strikes that can coordinate with local groups are needed. but small chain reactions like this also create disruption, increase pressure, and remind people that the genocide is on-going. they also build up to bigger and more sustained strikes.

Letting Will SHine