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絶望な|女

@zetsubonna / zetsubonna.tumblr.com

Try. Harder. Not to be a dick.

what did the founding fathers think about banging MILFs

We actually know the answer to this!!! VERY positively.

In 1745, Benjamin Franklin wrote an advice letter to an unnamed younger man which is titled "Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress". He begins his letter by telling his correspondent that the best way of dealing with sexual urges is to get married. However, Franklin acknowledges that extramarital sex happens (and he himself would know all about that, he had tons of it before his marriage, during his marriage, and after his wife had died). Therefore, he offers his correspondent some wisdom on choosing the right mistress.

"In all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones," Franklin said, and then proceeded to spell out eight reasons why an older mistress was the best decision to make.

The first reason was the chat would be better: "Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable."

Secondly, "Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good." He adds that older women will look after you when you're sick, and there is "hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman."

The third reason was that "there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience." Franklin adopted a pragmatic approach on unwanted pregnancy, and in 1758 published instructions for inducing abortion - more about that here.

Franklin rated the wisdom that comes with age in his fourth reason, saying that older women were more discreet in their affairs, which would protect both parties' reputations. And if the affair was rumbled, "considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman".

The fifth reason is perhaps most pertinent to you, dearest followers of a museum of vaginas. Benjamin Franklin's fifth reason is that a vagina is a vagina, no matter the age of the woman it's attached to. Or as he put it: "Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever. So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement."

The sex, according to Franklin, with a milf, is usually better.

The sixth reason Franklin offered was that "debauching a virgin" would be more likely to ruin a life than an affair with an older woman, and the seventh, related, was that you might feel guilty about that, while with an older woman you're just "making an old Woman happy."

Franklin concludes his list of reasons to bang a milf with "8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!" (punctuation, including the exclamation marks, his).

When Franklin's papers were published in the nineteenth century, this letter was, for some reason, omitted. Along with some other pieces of Franklin's writing such as a joyous essay about farting and bits of his autobiography about his sex life. The hornier elements of Benjamin Franklin's writing were censored in law under the 1873 anti-obscenity Comstock laws, and later frequently cited in attempts to overturn obscenity laws.

We are pleased to be able to share, without fear of breaking US law, what Benjamin Franklin thought about shagging older women.

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Happy 10th year of me doing this dorky comic! Hope people don't mind the fact that I haven't really dabbled in Cap stuff for a few years, except for my weird yearly July 4th ritual. On AO3 here, and tumblr tag here. (2022 was about Dobbs, 2020 was about seeing the stars, 2019 was about building new systems, 2018 was about voting, 2017 was about immigration.)

Lots of posts out there on the 2023 Minnesota legislative session, but here's the OG tumblr roundup post.

California is trying to divest its two largest pension funds from fossil fuels, but apparently today they decided to table it until next year. :/ I guess more meetings are needed! (productive ones, not ones that could have been an email.)

People keep following and unfollowing me voluntarily without me blocking them and I’m over here

I want to study y’all like bugs. Who tf are you people? Are you lost? Are you from Reddit? Did you realize I’m not a Marvel blog anymore and immediately lose interest?

I know it’s gauche but I could tell you my follower count off the top of my head and when it wiggles I do notice. I’m fascinated.

Also, btw, my ask box is still open with anon allowed and messages open to anyone so if you want different content you could just try asking me a goddamned question. That’s where all those fics came from, originally. 🕵🏻

surely this is a good idea that doesn’t have the capacity to end real fuckin badly

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Bridges aren’t supposed to have weight restrictions on them. That is, they don’t come with weight restrictions on them when they’re new. So a bridge with a weight restriction on it is a sign that something has gone wrong and the bridge does not meet current standards.

The maximum weight that a vehicle is allowed to carry on the Interstate System per federal law is 80,000 pounds gross vehicle weight (with a max of 20,000 pounds per axle). That’s 40 tons. That limit applies to every inch of pavement, not just the bridges. Since this is a known cap, a new Interstate bridge will be designed to accommodate an 80,000 lb GVW load on it. You could say the bridge’s weight limit is 80,000 lb/40 tons but that doesn’t really have much meaning, because a load higher than that would be illegal to transport on public roads anyway, and the road leading up to the bridge has the same weight restriction. (In practice, the bridge doubtlessly will be designed to have a little bit of let to it just in case some idiot tries to squeak by a few hundred extra pounds.)

Now, note that that law applies to the Interstate System only, because the federal government only has a governing interest in the Interstate System (and other roads that together make up something called the National Highway System) because they partially fund it. Most long-distance roads are owned and funded by the states. The states could theoretically set lower standard weight limits and/or design bridges with lower weight limits…but in practice they don’t.

One, because all of that 80,000 lb GVW traffic on the Interstate system has to go somewhere when it exits the system.

Two, because a group called the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO, who are best known for picking the road numbers) maintains a catalog of standard components for making bridges that meet Interstate System requirements. Engineers are expensive on a per-hour basis, so if you can direct your engineer to use standard components and make a standard bridge, that’s a lot cheaper than having them design a bridge from scratch to go over the creek in Nowheresville. As a result, most new bridges meet Interstate standards and have an 80,000 lb GVW rating even if they aren’t on the Interstate system. (This is also why all new bridges kind of look the same, but we’re not worried about how boring the bridges are for the sake of this post.)

So a bridge only has an explicit weight limit if it has been damaged in some way (through failure to properly maintain it usually) or because it predates the application of Interstate System standards and the standard AASHTO bridges.

Older bridges often have other problems in addition to the weight limits: many older designs are what we call “fracture critical”, which means that if one component of the bridge fails the whole thing collapses. Modern bridge designs have redundancy designed into them so that if one beam fails the other beams will carry the load until the damaged beam can be replaced. Older bridges also often don’t meet other standards, like height (16 ft clearance) and width (12 ft per lane plus 14 ft for shoulders) requirements.

Biden isn’t advocating eliminating weight limits and letting it be a laissez-faire free-for-all where trucks can just go wherever they want. He’s advocating for replacing bridges that carry weight limits with new ones that don’t have them.

wow i got absolutely schooled thank you for all this this is really informative. i have learned so much

This is a great explanation of what the fuck Biden was talking about in his tweet. because I will freely admit that I also went “…….wtf?????” when I read it. So thank you.

Today I learned about civil engineering.

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WELP, IT’S BEEN A YEAR

Are you tired of trying to look on the bright side, and to keep faith?  Cause I sure am.  But also – the alternative is far less helpful in making the changes that we need.  So: to tiny steps in the right direction, to voting and all the million other things we do to bend the long arc of history.

8 previous years’ birthday comics on tumblr and AO3

(I guess I also have it in booklet format, too.)

this was submitted as a one sentence horror story, but it feels like it could be an old jewish joke, like the one about the two rabbis proving g-d doesn't exist or the saying 'people plan, g-d laughs'

This is a thousand times better as a dry Jewish joke than it is as a fake-deep edgelord ‘horror’ story

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Even more, it sounds like the beginning -- the set-up -- of the joke. Can’t you hear Carl Reiner opening a bit with this line, or Shalom Aleichem using it to kick off a story?

Well I'm not quite an old Jewish man just yet, but let me give it a shot...

Losing confidence in Himself, G-d became an atheist. He decided to go down to Earth, to walk among humans and see how they found meaning.

He wandered the world until he came to a town, where he happened upon a pastor. "Come to our church this Sunday!" said the pastor. But G-d shook his head. "I don't believe in G-d anymore," he told the pastor sullenly. "And besides, I really shouldn't be working weekends." . . .

I need new boots again

the tactical boots I got on advice from @lostindarkplaces are good but they are starting to wear out and I want to have a replacement lined up before they fall apart.

the issue I am having is that I want slightly taller boots this time and I have relatively average feet (8 1/2 or 9) and thick calves so wanting boots that go 6”+ up from the top of my foot is a long shot…

Y’all I bought 20 65-pound moving bags and as I was trying to unpack them to settle in at my brother’s house until probably-September I realized two of the damn things are *just* video games and one contained almost nothing but @mayakern skirts and two petticoats and I still have to restrain myself from purchasing at least two more (ocean and sky) and my fresh hot flavors black cat midi skirt also arrived today so fem drag is still in full effect

also Maya I’m sure I’m getting these design names wrong but this is what I have so far

  • dungeon delver
  • hydrangeas
  • strawberries
  • waves
  • poison flowers
  • bees
  • cherry blossoms (aka the Arizona tea skirt)
  • pink peonies
  • lambs/easter
  • swords
  • teapots
  • ye olde cats
  • white petticoat
  • black petticoat

This is like 3 years of collecting y’all I did not buy all of these at once and I have actually been restraining myself waiting for the new manufacturer because the bee skirt was the old mini design and needs to be replaced eventually (rubbing against my desk at work resorted in a lot of picks/pilling) because I love it so…

also I have one entire bag that is only stationery I think I have a problem

I started learning spanish last year and have occasionally caught myself saying “I’m in problems” (e.g. “I’m in problems right now”) rather than “I have problems/a problem” and it took me a while of doing this in conversation with others to realise I must be getting this from the spanish ‘estoy en problemas’ (lit. ‘I’m in problems’ but typically more like ‘I’m in trouble’), and to my brain it signifies something wider than ‘I have a problem’, something more akin to ‘I’m surrounded by/embedded in problems’ or ‘I am experiencing problematic situations’ and yes it’s quite dramatic

I love this!!!