It’s so hard being a silly goose in this anti-whimsy society
bro i didnt share my new son $1.07 with you guys hold on
yall arent ready for her . u cannot emotionally prepare for him .
her name is $1.07 and he is the worlds least animal
he is so scared all the time
put that old man in a situation
This is my old man. The situation?
He conpfy.
FUCK yes everybody go home this post is about him now
ever since discovering you can request money through google wallet when you send emails i’ve had to struggle to resist the urge to constantly tack on money requests of either thousands of dollars or 69 cents when i email my dad about stuff
mostly it’s because i send him a lot of funny animal pics with no title or body in the email whatsoever and i looooove the idea of sending someone a blank email with two attachments, which are:
• that picture of the proboscis monkey smirking while eating a sandwich with his little pink dick fully visible
• google wallet request for 9000 dollars
Okay so I found the most incredible horse statue while doing research for my job and guys. Are you ready for this. Are you sure you're fucking ready for this thing
*sees 2 notes* FUCK yes let's fucking GOOOO
Behemoth
I saw the opposite of this horse
That's Bulk Biceps vs Young Fluttershy
Im not joking.
If you will allow me another…. Top 5 pictures of Mackintosh
i have very little self control about her so i post most pics same day. ANYWAY
Hey.
I'm serious when I say I think the sentiment that kindness requires "zero effort" is harmful.
The idea that kind is a thing you can be innately, without having to think or feel anything about it, leaves a gap in the fence where the other idea "if I have unkind thoughts or feelings, I am by nature a bad, unkind person" can slip through.
Listen. That's bullshit.
Being kind to other people means paying attention to the effect your words and actions have on others, caring about it, and trying to make those effects better. That's work.
If you have a nasty thought about another person that annoys you and you contain the impulse, hold your tongue, and let it go? That was effort.
If you took time out to really think about something you wanted to say and make sure it would have its intended result without causing accidental harm that you wouldn't have noticed if you went totally off the cuff? Wow, that took some work!
If you were tired and angry and full of hatred but you still did the dishes so your housemate has something to eat their breakfast off of in the morning, that wasn't easy.
I don't think there are magical "kind" people who never have a mean thought and are always selfless and pure. That would be exhausting and impossible.
I'm not a "nice person," I'm a nasty, bitter, angry, sad person who tries to have good leash manners, control my worst impulses, and not jump on strangers because they don't deserve that shit from me.
I don't always succeed, but I'm trying. I'm trying and it's worth it.
i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.
if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they'd do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag
oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic
austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind
“That’s why high school, or a crappy job, or any other restrictive circumstance can be dangerous: They make dreams too painful to bear. To avoid longing, we hunker down, wait, and resolve to just survive. Great art becomes a reminder of the art you want to be making, and of the gigantic world outside of your small, seemingly inescapable one. We hide from great things because they inspire us, and in this state, inspiration hurts.”
— One of the best articles I’ve ever read. Rookie Mag. By Spencer Tweedy. (via wildyork)
tumblr deleted my last confessional post so here’s a new one:
when i was like 6 my grandparents got me an awesome dollhouse (playmobil haus 5301 if anyone needs to know). for some reason, i had in my head that one day, god would shrink a bunch of people until they were the size of polly pockets and the world would be so cruel and scary for them. so every night i would pray to god that if he did that, that he would please put the tiny people in my dollhouse so i could provide for them. and every night, in case it happened, i would put water in a little cup for them and make their little beds so they’d have somewhere warm to rest after finding out they would be tiny forever. i told my friend in school about this and he said “oh my dad’s a wizard dont worry he can make them grow again” and then i felt at ease and never worried about it again.
you're a stupid fucking anti-sjw lol. This blog is stupid. I hate you crackers white people SUCK go suck a dick.
looks like I triggered more sjws. Keep sending these asks they only fuel my logic.
Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail
Love that we’re still dragging the poor fuckers corpse around years later so no one ever forgets their shameful mistake lol
hhhrk. gggrrrg. *changes several core aspects of your personality when you’re not looking*
normally this would infuriate me but I feel uncharacteristically calm and forgivibg
onlinedipshit87: Honestly beef stew isnt even that good
-15 relations with race: dwarves
-25 relations with race: orcs
-500 relations with race: halflings
Race: Halflings now see you as a mortal enemy. You will be attacked on sight in halfling settlements
o annie, what is your wisdom?
my wisdom is that its good to take a nap ^-^
internet safety tip: to protect your identity, you can start going by a "fake name" online. But Watch Out










