Husband: Whoa, have you seen young Patrick Stewart?!

Me: I don’t think so. I kind of assumed he’s always been old.

Husband: Turns out he was handsome as fuck.

DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMN.

What the fuck do you mean “was”???

Her thighs thick but her patience thin

Imagine showing this video to someone 6 months ago

Imagine showing this video to someone 1 year ago

oh my god.

This would literally be a closing shot in Black Mirror

Aw, this is cute.

Honestly I can’t believe that I’m watching this right now. This is This is the sweetest most gentle and loving and pure thing I’ve ever beheld and I feel so blessed to have seen this

“Sshh don’t cry, my baby.”

MY FUCKING HEART 😭

“My baby is big and soft and doesn’t look like me but he is my son and I love him.”

Me: I want to write a thing

Friends: So write it

Me:

Reasons Why I Like to be Alone

1. I can think my own thoughts.

2. I can listen to my heart.

3. There’s no need to fit in with, or to please, other people.

4. I can be at peace with my authentic self.

5. I can focus my thinking and attention on what matters.

6. I can invest my time on my own priorities.

7. I am free of the pressures that can sap my energy.

Russian exorcisms be like

This bitch haunted… YEET

From what i could roughly understand: [no idea sorry] *GASP* *exhale* “In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, FUCK OFF, please.”

dm for promos

dm for promos

now this is what i like to see… if i’m gonna buy some fancy new Strong Product i wanna see it beat the weaker version of itself into total useless garbage…… its called innovation and i’ve never been so happy to be a capitalist…

Damn

Maxwell has anger management issues

he fucking killed her

kittens are so fucking stupid & i love them

thats not stupid, that’s The Dream

tired: breakfast in bed.

Wired: Breakfast IS bed.

I’ve watched this like 30 times and I cant stop laughing aksjska

the girl has big dick energy

she stole all of his dick energy and killed him

I’m the girl making sure everyone knows he lost

Homegirl did a whole dance right after.😂😂😭

Watch the whole thing 💀

He hustled you…

He hustled you GOOD

😂😂😂😂😂

Omg🤣

the older you get the more you appreciate just chilling at home doing nothing

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful