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compilation of opossums that look very polite:
feel free to add on
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I know I have made a post about this before, but let’s see some more hover cats in action
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me when having a trauma episode: This is just what my life is now. I will never be okay. I will never be normal. I'm damaged and ruined too much for anything. I'll never be healthy. What they did to me destroyed me. I will suffer for as long as I live.
me when I'm having a good day: I have done it, I have achieved a good life, everything is fun and life is endless possibilities maybe I will climb mountains today nothing is out of reach!! Also I will not be in a single bad mood ever again!
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clem-style-deactivated20191229
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anyone else thought they were so cool as a kid cause they were into sexual adult things and weren’t like their other, “immature” peers, but really they were just hypersexual as a reaction to sexual trauma
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dollieblush
if you’re 15/16 or younger: that older guy doesn’t love you, you’re not mature for dating someone older when you’re so young. its called pedophilia. trust me, it’ll hurt so much when you get older. no one over 18 should be dating or being sexual with someone younger. its weird and its vile. pls try your best to get out of the situation.
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fuck !!!!! ya ever just remember how totally Fucked your childhood was???! and how fucked up you are as a result of that???
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“what happened to you made you stronger”
i was a child. i didn’t need to be strong i needed to be safe
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skullxcrusher-deactivated201501
nostalgia is a liar. nothing was ever as good as you remember it to be. there’s a reason you don’t talk to that person anymore, there’s a reason you’re not part of each other’s lives. don’t trust nostalgia. grieve. reflect. move on.
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Traumatic memory gets created differently than normal memory.
Please reblog so as many people as possible can see this. People who were not abused don't understand this about traumatic memory and that is often a basis for them not believing you.
There's all sorts of complicated science behind how this works, but I'm not going to get into it right now because I really want to hammer home this very specific point and not get distracted by anything else.
Traumatic memory is different than normal memory.
Traumatic memory is different than normal memory.
Traumatic memory is recorded more similarly to a dream then waking life.
Do not let anyone hold your traumatic memory up to normal memory standards.
Do not let anyone convince you that your traumatic memories are invalid because they are recorded differently than normal memory.
Your traumatic memories are fragmented, out of sequence, and dreamlike. They contain both very vivid parts and totally missing parts. This is all valid. This is how traumatic memory is recorded in the brain.
Having traumatic memories does not mean there's anything wrong with your memory. It's the way the mind and nervous system are programmed to function when in perceived crisis. So, if the majority of your childhood memories are traumatic memories, it's not because something is wrong with your memory, it's because something was very wrong with your childhood.
just one of those nights again
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what to do when everything’s a mess
- Wash your hair. Don’t worry about all those articles online about the best haircare products of 2019 and whatnot, get in, wash it like you usually do, get out. Leave it to air dry, it’s less work for you.
- Brush your teeth. Even if you brushed them this morning and are probably going to brush it tonight, do it anyway. Especially if it’s exam time, all that tea or coffee you’re most likely downing (props to you if you only study with water) probably makes them feel kind of gross.
- I know most of these lists tell you to run a bath, but let’s face it, for those of you who even have a bath in the first place, the thought of filling that tub and sitting there in complete silence for a couple hours seems like a trek. And ironically exhausting. So instead, just brush your hair, take a nap (set a nice soothing alarm) and once you’ve gotten out of bed, wash your face or at least splash cold water on your face.
- CLEAN clean clean clean CLEAN. Easier said than done, but at least start by clearing one messy component of your area; it could be your floor, your desk or your bed. You don’t need to clean and re-organise your entire room marie condo-style for you to actually have a reason to take the time to clean in the first place. A little goes a long way, and you don’t ALWAYS need to do the hard yards ya know.
- I would say read a book, but sometimes your brain is melting or buzzing so it can’t really focus on anything lengthy. So instead, find someone reciting a poem online, and just listen to it. I recommend Jeremy Irons and his voicing of tons of T.S Eliot poetry, or Allen Ginsberg reciting his own poetry (Howl is a classic).
- If you’re one of those people who drowns their sorrows by listening to music, don’t listen to music!! Don’t reinforce your pain!! So to that I say, listen to a podcast. If the classic podcast genre of true crime is a little too stressful and you’ve already cried twice today, listen to interviews with actors, screenwriters and directors. It can be really refreshing to listen to people you already enjoy the content of talk about their work. I recommend Awards Chatter and Happy Sad Confused.
- Stop staring at screens! Just physically sit outside for a bit, you don’t need to go for a jog or do a general workout, just…sit. People-watch, try and memorise the exact scene in front of you, from the mis-en-scene to all the colours and sounds and the way the sunlight feels on your eyelashes. Write it down if you want to, you could even denote a single notebook to your little outdoor descriptions. Or just write on a napkin. To each their own.
- Have you eaten today? And I mean something hearty, something that isn’t primarily made out of air and salt. Something that falls under the umbrella of snack does not count; meal is more like it. If not, eat. Preparing food might feel exhausting, but so’s going a relatively long amount of time without something nutritionally substantial.
- If you’re feeling emotionally heavily, get out a notebook or even just a scrap of paper, a pen and cry until your eyes are as blurry as can be. With tears down your cheeks, scribble out how you’re feeling. Don’t bother with how neat or messy it is, whether the sentences even stay on the lines, it’s not about being aesthetic. In fact, it’s about being as messy as possible. Let all of it out, and let is act as a physical manifestation of what’s going on in your head. Don’t fight it or deny it, relieve yourself by both constructing and understanding yourself.
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once I find my serotonin it’s over for you bitches
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fell asleep while writing and
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carelesnes
i felt left out my whole life. i just wanted to be enough. smart enough. sick enough. good enough. evil enough. talented enough. tortured enough. kind enough. in pain enough. attractive enough. depressed enough. loved enough. manipulative enough. enough something, anything. i just wanted to belong, and i still don’t, and even if i do… it’s not enough. and even if i am going to be… it will not be enough.
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oh gods it was parents evening again tonight..
other parents: how did you do that?
Me:do what?
Other parents: your teenager is eating a salad..
Me:i never forced him eat, now he will pretty much eat anything…except chicken casserole which we both agree is gross
Other parents:we don’t get it.
Me: our only rules are bed at eleven on a school night and don’t hack any important government agencies.
Other parents: you don’t restrict screen time?
Me: you know 95% of kids will self regulate, given the chance?
Other parents: thats not true
Me: have you tried it?
other parents:…but, now he’s reading 1984
Me: he has had a university reading level since he was 12, what am i going to do censor his reading material?
other Parents: what if he reads something you don’t approve of..
Me: i fail to see your reasoning…
Me: you know he cooks too..it’s our mother/son time, we talk about his friends…
other Parents: he talks??
That “he talks??” bit gets me
Yeah, kids talk. If your kid doesn’t talk to you, it’s because of one of two reasons:
- You’ve created such a hostile/unwelcoming home environment that they don’t feel comfortable enough to talk
- You have signaled to them somehow, some way, that you don’t care about what they have to say. That what they have to say isn’t important.
Kids are not stupid, not at any age level. They pick up on shit and they remember and then when they grow to be teenagers, they know who they can talk to about stuff and who they can’t.
My 13 year old nephew is not particularly affectionate with his mother and he rarely talks to her about anything important, but there are times I can’t get that kid to stop hanging off me and he has those serious conversations with me, like when we discussed his friends coming out to him as bisexual.
It’s not even that hard to make a kid feel loved and welcome. I don’t even know what my nephew is talking about half the time with his games, but they’re important to him, so I let him talk and I make appropriate noises of shock and sympathy when they are needed.
He watches a lot of YT channels, so we’ve discussed the importance of regulating your media, because I don’t want motherfuckers like PewDiePie shaping his world view.
He reads anything from Stephen King to manga and he does that because I’ve been reading him books since he was a baby. I do it with all of my nieces and nephews; when they get school-aged and old enough to read on their own, our “us” time is going to the bookstore and letting them pick out a drink and a book.
Because reading is important to me and I want it to be important to them, too. Now, it’s not something I suggest, it’s something that my nephew asks for.
“I finished my book, Aunt [Dessie], when can we go to the bookstore again?”
And when I tell him a date, I make sure to keep it.
Saying, “You can talk to me about anything” and “you can rely on me” is all well and good, but words are just words. You have to mean it and you have to show them that you mean it.
Otherwise, when it gets to those important moments in their life, they’re gonna shut you out rather than let you in.
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some things that horror movie culture has taught you are scary…. are just ableist
symmetras-microwave
….clarify?
okay sure. psychosis? scarier to have than to know someone who has it. DID? im more a threat to myself than people around me. wheelchairs and psych meds? are tools that help people live more functional and flexible lives and are not judgments of the persons character and for sure are not scary things. and for real, intellectually disabled people are not threats, but movies love to make them villains because they act different and understand the world differently. and people with notable physical differences? people who’s bodies look different? people with scars, growths, amputations, etc? are literally just people. and seeing themselves painted like monsters on the big screen is absolutely sickening and damaging to how society will see them.
its not only bad writing but its extremely harmful to people who actually live with conditions that are misrepresented in media. when i found out i had DID, my mom freaked out because her only point of reference was Sybil. when i was younger and first went on psych meds, i thought it meant i was set on a track to be a bad person, because in so many movies and video games you find out the bad guy has medication in his bed side table for some sort of psych disorder. the worst thing a hallucination has ever made me do was wake my mom up at 3 AM to check my bathroom to see if the bugs i saw everywhere were real and the worst thing an “episode” of any sort has made me do is hurt myself. my ptsd doesnt make me kill people, my alters dont kidnap people, my autism doesnt make me so morally unaware that ill murder for senselessly, my ocd doesnt make me hurt people etc etc etc
literally the only “horror” is the ableism. and the only way you can write good horror about disability and mental illness is if the focus is on how society and the medical field treat us rather than focusing on how we are apparently so scary, threatening, and bad.
Horror is and has historically been an incredibly ableist genre, and it is still largely unrecognized as such. This has genuine severe and real-life consequences for disabled and neurodivergent people in real life. Please keep this in mind if you are abled and/or neurotypical.
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flowerais-deactivated20211031
real love is sweet and warm like honey and you all deserve this kind of love
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This is a big, giant list of Youtube tutorials that will teach you all the basic life skills you need to know in order to be a functional adult. There are a lot of important skills that aren’t included in this list, but this should be enough of a basic guide to get you started and prevent you from making a total mess of yourself. Happy adulting! Household Skills:
Cooking Skills:
Health Skills:
Mental Health Skills:
Relationship and Social Skills:
Job Hunting Skills:
Other Skills:
If there’s ever anything you want that isn’t on this list…youtube it. Everyone always comments on my handiness, but everything I know comes from an old guy and his iphone.