Dramatic
Source: instagram.com
Anonymous asked:
Just topped my boyfriend while he was playing animal crossing
God I wish that were me
effect of my parental abuse: I HATE intrusive noise. The sound of a door unlocking (even if it’s just my roommate). Just knocking. Footsteps in the morning sounding too close to my door. The sound of cars pulling up. The ding on my phone when they contact me. I associate it with the Vague and Uncomfortable Badness. Even at college, I hear that unlocking noise and my whole body habitually tenses up. I wish for the day that that sound no longer scares me but means that someone I love is here.
To this day I still hear my husbands keys in the front door and I pretend I’m asleep so I can be in control of when I get to acknowledge his arrival. Very strange and I don’t really want to deeply examine why I started doing this as a child.
Reassure me that I’m the only one you want. That you won’t ever want anyone else. That I’m everything you want and more. Please.
That just proved one of my biggest fears. I’m unconsciously hurting people and being toxic.
Omg wait. I’ve calmed down before I even really did anything. Fuck. I really felt like those days spent learning and just breathing were useless but look at me? I’m safe? I wanna stomp on it and break it into a million little pieces?? When I get out of the bath I’m throwing them all away
Stay with it stay with it I got this it’s okay. He doesn’t hate you and he’s with you bc he loves you and you love him and it’s going to be okay and you’ll get surgery and out of this house, this town, this state. It’ll work out. Everyone is safe And I’m not everyone’s last choice. People care even if they have a hard time showing it. It’s okay
Omg wait. I’ve calmed down before I even really did anything. Fuck. I really felt like those days spent learning and just breathing were useless but look at me? I’m safe? I wanna stomp on it and break it into a million little pieces?? When I get out of the bath I’m throwing them all away
Carve X’s on my hips where you touched me. It’s just a joke, right? This blood and these scars are just jokes, right? Everytime you threw something at me was a joke. Everytime you held me down and spit those words in my face that a child should never have to hear was a joke. Don’t fucking say it wasn’t because it always made you laugh. The scars that you blame me for, are just the tip of the iceberg. The iceberg that sank YOUR titanic. How unfortunate for you.
I’m so tired of hurting the people I love. I’m such a train wreck. He was right. I’m everyone’s second choice and that’s all I’ll ever be. I’m a burden to everyone and the only reason I’m not entirely alone is because people pity me. I’ll never do anything that benefits anyone, including myself. I’m alone right now because I deserve it. I deserve to feel deserted and hurt. I deserve all of these feelings I’m having right now. I know I’m not thinking rationally but these thoughts are clouding my judgement and I’m scared to be so alone right now.
leeortizlife-deactivated2019051
37q
im like 99% sure this photoset drops in image quality every time it passes my dash
Anonymous asked:
Why do you want to be a comedian?
the free stool with a glass of water on it
