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@your-local-vampire

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• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

The thing is frankly there's never been a bit on this website I haven't enjoyed. Goncharov was delightful. Vanilla extract made me cackle every time. Out of Touch Thursday reminds me what day it is every week. "This new fad is really boring me now" couldn't be me!!! I love community and being annoying!

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some movie character resting their head against the bus window: sad, lost in deep thought, staring into the world passing by, sorrowful music……

my head when i attempt to rest it against the bus window:

okay so as someone who fits this stereotype, I’m curious.

How many of us belong to the fiber arts / neurodivergent / cat person trifecta?

(I would ask how many of us are also queer, but this is Tumblr.)

For purposes of this poll, if you make any kind of fiber / yarn / fabric / textile / sewing arts or crafts,

or if you have a strong special interest in them, regardless of ability or desire to create,

you are a Fiber Person.

And if you self-identify as neurodivergent, regardless of official diagnosis status, you are Neurodivergent.

Please reblog for a larger sample size!

Sewing/costuming is my special interest, I own two cats, and I'm autistic

A bit different than what I usually make, but one of my finals this semester is to make a project interacting with a community, so I decided to raise awareness for an issue that has personally impacted me.

CW for discussion of abortion and hate crimes

in the theatre waiting for the barbie movie rn and like. The amount of people covered in sparkles and pink and pastels is so incredible. Like we all just decided that this is a time to embrace your inner dress up kid and I think that's so cool

OK, it shall be done. Less personal posting and more interesting tidbits! I don't know if I can refrain from discourseposting, especially about things I can't/don't talk about IRL, but I will try to minimize it.

I enjoy the discourse posting, but this poll was over before I found it. you articulate your thoughts in a really cool way

you see perry the platypus when I pull this lever it will scan the brains of everyone in the tristate area and automatically give free HRT to every trans person, driving local gender affirming centers out of business, and then I can buy all their medical equipment at a severely discounted price and dismantle it for aa batteries. my wii remotes are dead

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If Max, Nikki and Neil ended up volunteering at camp when they're older teens it would be because David is now fostering Max and Max wants to hang out with Nikki and Neil

Nikki who jumped at the opertunity to live in nature again cause she hasn't seen the woods since she was 12 and I think camp would stop for kids after 12 or 13

And Neil who knew he was gonna get stuck with his dad, so to avoid the 2 or 3 months of cringe, he decided to spend his time getting paid bellow minimum wage working with his friends at a children's camp because fuck that

The summers when his dad got him were genuine torture.

So the three of them already talk online so they knew what was up and just planned to make their summer break less shitty by hanging out together

following you is so fun cause everytime you post about a new fandom I'm like 'wait. omg they like/know about that one too?!?' anyways it's just very fun.

^ also you are totally correct about the kiddos

something ive noticed a lot in the broadway community is that fans REFUSE to give any sort of freedom or grace to new actors in roles that they like. if you really do prefer the original, cool! dont literally get mad at their replacement for existing! if u love this actor so much u should let them move onto other projects without insulting the people who come and take their place. i hate the phrase 'no one will ever be as good as the og' and things similar, because literally any of these actors could have also been the og if they had been in the right place at the right time. would you have preferred them if that were the case?

for example, the amount of ppl who DESPISE west end heathers is insane cause like of course it isnt exactly the same as off-broadway? i like both productions for different reasons but it rly feels like most people are so closed-minded when it comes to other casts.

ive also seen SO much hate on elizabeth teeter ( i think thats her name?) as lydia. she is not sophia. she KNOWS that. she is not trying to be sophia. there is no point in constantly comparing the two (especially when elizabeth literally stated she did not want to be compared).

i just want to enjoy other actors and productions without being flooded with people who won't even give them a chance. also, if u want to do the show so bad, u have to accept that YOUR cast wouldn't be 'as good as the og' either. would u be okay with the same amount of comparison? of course they aren't the same. they are DIFFERENT PRODUCTIONS???

The fact that different actors playing the same role and different productions of the same show can provide different interpretations and perspectives is perhaps the most beautiful thing about theater.

CGI animators should unionize next. normally, their jobs would be too precarious to strike, since studios would replace them without a second thought, but if it's part of this larger general film strike, they might finally have meaningful power to better their working conditions

if CGI animators unionized, it would kill the MCU. straight up. the the entire business model is built on exploiting CGI animators

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THEY ARE TRYING!!!!! SIGN THE PETITION TO GET THE DISNEY ANIMATORS' UNION RECOGNIZED

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this petition is from IATSE (union), btw! it actually has credibility, unlike most change.org/etc petitions! please sign it!!