Dave Chappelle on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart — 22nd September 1999 [x]

Bruh.

Issa egg I died

last time i did this my wish really came true. so im going to wish again

nothing to lose. :))

Let’s hope

Why not? :)

*crossing fingers*

pretty much^^^^

i got nothing to lose. (:

Last time i did this my wish came true.

Jesus Christ if my wish comes true I will piss

please work omg

looks fun lol

please 

IT SERIOUSLY WORKED

Well, i got nothing to lose, might as well try it

This shall be interesting😌

I really need this.

I really need this

I’m in the bee suit

jes[doixcvjbkxluivfd WHY JOLLIBEE FUCKIN IT UP YAAS G9JKFDGVLJDSFNVSDLFJV

so you probably wondering how I ended up getting fucked by my supervisor in a fitting room huh?

It started with these text 🙈 Idky but he brings out the aggressiveness in me lol

so I arrive at work at like 5:40a cus I had to take my braid out, out before clocking in. See I was plotting. If I was gonna get some dick today he wasn’t about to fuck up my bun or ponytail. Nope.

Now when I arrived, only one of his 4 ppl team were there but by the time I got out the bathroom 15mins later ALL them niggas arrived. In my head I’m like “nah it’s slow for tht like I’m not a quite girl.” I go clock in and head to my department.

I end up in the fitting room area hanging shit. Now, to get out of the stockroom you have to walk through the fitting room. The door has a little window so I can see my supervisor coming my way but he’s dragging something with him. Boy had a whole rolling rack (to hang clothes on) now he knows better than to roll tht shit into the fitting room cus I can get in trouble for blocking the exit so I hit him with “Ummm where u going with tht? U can’t leave tht in here bro” He says out loud “ Nah. Nah. I’m go put this on the floor I gotta check something” and then he pushes me out his way since I was blocking him and lowers his voice, “get in tht fitting room” 😳

“What?” Bitch I froze lmfaoooooooo. All I see is him grabbing the fitting room key and I was like ‘fuckkkkk’ He opens tht shit and I hesitate to go in, he snatches me. “Don’t be scared now” he whispered. Now, when I’m nervous I smile and giggle. Nigga! I felt like a little fucking school girl as nervous as I was, giggling nshit. Now let me tell you, this man is ALL OF 5'6, he isn’t skinny but he ain’t fat neither. Mannn the way he had me pinned against tht wall, making out with me, grabbing on everything, tossing my ass from one wall to another, you’d think he was all of 6'1 and 200+ ! If there is anything I like is aggressive niggas so I was OPEN! The whole time we over here making out we talking in between. Him “So this is what u wanted? All tht shit u was talking, we here. What we gone do? You lead.” Now, was I scared? YES TF I WAS. The WHOLE stock team is still in the building ! BUT I ain’t no fucking punk soo I hit him with “Didn’t I tell u I like aggressive niggas? So nah I ain’t leading shit, you take what u want” That nigga spun my ass around and started pulling on my pants and all we hear is the stock room door swing open followed by “Yooo Jerzzzzz!” (Obv not his real name lol) “Jerzzzz where u at!?” We froze but the voice got further away from the fitting room so he slide out and all I hear is “Bro how u walked passed me! I was right there in the women’s section in the back”

I’m smh in the fitting room now like “this nigga really smooth. Rosa u really gone do this? Here? At your job? In this fitting room? With all these ppl!? U was talking shit so u gotta do it !” After my little pep talk all I hear is “Yo! It’s 6:17a and I STILL ain’t eat nothing!? Nahhhh. Yah niggas gotta go! Go to the store yo. Hurry up I’m hungry. Ima let yah out now. Hurry yah ass up, ALL YAH.” 3mins later all I hear coming up behind me are keys. It’s him again telling me tht the guys left to the store, one is till here but he has his headphones on. We slide back into the fitting room and picked up where we left off. He went back to being rough af. Boy was grabbing on my ass like it was really a whole cake and not two little cup cakes lol. Grabbing titty, rubbing kitty. Ol boy spun my ass around again and pulled down my sweats (wore those on purpose). I hear his pants undoing and unwrapping, I’m like “yeah u def about to do this. Rosa you WILD!”

He bent my ass over tht low seat and got to workkkkk. Now we discussed the fact tht I’m loud so he gotta hit me with them slow strokes. Bitchhhhhhhhh ! Tht nigga was tryna reach for my soul with those! He grabs a full hand of my hair and starts to get carried away. I remind him we ain’t alone dude ! We fucked for like 15mins. At one point nigga gone tell me to kneel on the seat, I told him no. He hit me with “I ain’t fucking asking” Bitch my knee went up sooo fast ! I’m telling you, aggressiveness really gets me.

So now I can see this nigga fucking me through the mirror so I end up nutting and he pulls out like “damnnn Rosee my pelvic area wild wet. Ima need some tissue. Go get tissue.” Now wtf is tissue? Nigga I turned around and licked tht shit right off him and then proceed to put his dick in my mouth. He def didn’t expect tht nigga was looking at me like “wow” and almost tried to stop me. I smacked tht hand away and made sure he knew this throat works. As I was cleaning him up, the fucking door bell rings, the guys were back from the store. So he ends up fucking up his briefs like he wanted to avoid cus we had to quickly put him away and adjust him.

He goes to open the door for the guys and I’m still in the fitting room sitting like “yo u really did that. Like how u gone consciously let a customer into this room after u know what happen in there. I wonder if I could put an out of service sign on this one” lmfaoo ! We spent the rest of the day randomly touching each other when ever we walked by one another as long as the coast was clear. I was leaving before him so he goes and pulls me to the side talmbout “Hope u know that was just a preview. I need to know your days off, see if our schedules match cus I need more of what u offering” Shit, he ain’t R. Kelly but I was still feeling that preview he broke off !

@kimreesesdaughter

Sisssssssssssssssssss. Yes, yes, yes. You are my inspiration 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾First of all, congratulations on finally bagging this nigga. Second of all, 5'6"? 😍😍😍😍I’m jeaaaalous. You know I think shorter men are God’s Gift. Third of all, I am proud as fuck of you!!! Your nasty was at top peak. You got your back blown out AT YOUR JOB!!👏🏾👏🏾(goals btw) “What tf is tissue?” is legendary. You are honestly my idol. I cannot wait till y'all have the time and space.

I told you, it’s something in the water in Jersey cause all them niggas stroke games stay👌🏾Like they are naturally gifted🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

ALL OF 5'6 looking like the sun loves only him 😍 Short Dark Skin men? Pass me your inhaler cus I don’t have asthma but I be SHORT OF BREATHE! @kimreesesdaughter ’“Wtf is tissue” is legendary", the way tht line made me ugly laugh sisss 😂😂😂 But I’ll tell u thisss. That def stood out to him cus he’s brought tht shit up twice in conversation so far 💁🏽 But I was sooo scared especially when tht nigga came out looking for him. I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing. Like Sis, Ima loud person. I can’t speak low, shit u can ask @curve-gotti I can’t whisper if my life depended on it ! I gotta text you and even THAT be too loud sometimes lol !! He told me to shut up like twice sis 😂

“Grabbing titty, stroking kitty” that’s poetry 👏🏾

Poetry tho? Lmfaooo !! Following you simply based off this comment 😂

Poetry in its truest form 🙌🏾😂 I need you to teach meeee

Girlllll. You’d be surprised how much back bone a heartbreak can give u. Mannn. Some dude I was feeling broke my heart and my savagery got activated and ol boy been flirting with me since he started at my job (a yr ago. I kno I took forever) so I shot my shot and I hit a three pointer and just didn’t look back.

But confidence alsoooo. Confidence! I knew he was feeling the kid, I was just too pussy to respond but confidence helped.

@mysilentoutburst YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I am so damn proud! Shit was freaky! I’m at work giggling like a mf and I’m cheering through this entire story like 🙈😩👅❤️️😜💦😏😉😘😎😳😜😉😁😂 . I definitely feel you on heartbreak giving you backbone. Got my heart broken three months ago and I’ve gone offfffff. I almost want to share my hoe stories. I want the damn chronicles. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Yasssssss !!! Share yah hoes stories! I’ll grab the popcorn and cheer !!!

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

😂😂👏👏👏👏👊👊GO GURRLL!!‘n

The end had me like😭

Reblog so you make enough money to cover your bills .

#luckymoney

And more more money left to save and spare🙏🏾🤑🤑🤑🤑

Amen

guys this works,, i suddenly got £20 in my bank account out of nowhere?? im so happy i can afford to buy lunch every day this week now omg

Ok BUT, i reblogged this before I went to work today l- my check was 30$ more than I expected AND I got 40$ from a friend. So. I mean???

-all the prayer to the money post gods-

I’m just gonna leave this here 👀

see how quickly they stopped laughing.

FACTS!!! speak that shit

Say Her Name

Korryn Gaines

Renisha McBride

Aiyana Mo'Nay Stanley-Jones

Miriam Carey

Messy Mya

Sandra Bland

Shelly Frey

Shelley Amos

Cheryl Blount-Burton

Dawn Cameron

Sandra Bee Wilson

Juliette Alexander

Alberta Spruill

Latanya Haggerty

Annette Green

Lenties White

Tameka Evette Anthony

Octavia Suydan

Andrena Kitt

Marcella Byrd

Emma Mae Horton

Angel Chiwengo

Guanda Denise Turner

Andrea Nicole Reedy

U’Kendra Johnson

Annie Holiday

Shonda Mikelson

LaVeta Jackson

Mary Williams

Tesha Reena Collins

Darneisha Harris

Nuwnah Laroche

Clanesha Rayuna Shaqwanda Hickmon

Ciara Lee

Dijon Senay Jackson

Denise Michelle Washinton

Keara Crowder

Tyra Hunter

Clara Fay Morris

Stacey Blount

Tanisha Anderson

Gabriella Monique Nevarez

Keisha Redding

Kendra Diggs

Laquisha Turner

Keoshia L. Hill

Kindra Chapman

Audwyn Fitzgerald Ball

Rosette Samuel

Makiah Jackson

Demetria Dorsey

Jameela Yasmeen Arshad

Joyce Quaweay

Mariah Woods

Jameela Cecila Barnette

Raynetta Turner

Bianca Davis

Patricia Hartley

Martha Regina Donald

Eulia Love

Sophia King

Joyce Curnell

Redel Jones

Tessa “Teesee” Hardeman

Tamara Seidle

Alicia Griffin

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Gina Rosario

Remedy Smith

Emily Marie Delafield

Jacqueline Culp

Delois Epps

Jacqueline Nichols

Queniya Tykia Shelton

Latoya Smith

Jacqueline Reynolds

Makayla Ross

LaTricka Sloan

Ralkina Jones

Elaine Coleman

Iretha Lilly

Gynnya McMillen

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Mya Hall

Patricia Thompson

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Michelle “Vash” Payne

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Yvette Henderson

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Tameka Huston

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Kisha Michael

Portia Southern

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Jessica Williams

Jessica Nelson-Williams

Vernicia Woodward

Alexia Christian

Tyisha Miller

Kourtney Hahn

Lamia Beard

Perlie Golden

Megan Holladay

Tarkia Wilson

Deshanda “Ta-Ta” Sanchez

Sharon Rebecca McDowell

Ricky Shawatza Hall

Glenda Moore

Danette Daniels

Shontel Edwards

Sharmel Edwards

Lashonda Ruth Belk

Zoraida Reyes

Islan Nettles

Avra Rosser

Natasha Renee Osby

Kathryn Johnson

Rekha Kalawattie Budhai

Natasha McKenna

Shontel Davis

Nizah Morris

Duanna Johnson

Asia Roundtree

Darnisha Harris

Shereese Francis

Alesia Thomas

Tracy A. Wade

Yvette Smith

Lnaaar Edwards

Gabrielle Lane

Varez Michelle Cusseaux

Taneisha Anderson

Aura Rosser

Raynette Turner

Tarika Wilson

Eleanor Bumpurs

Kendra James

Ahjah Dixon

Shantel Davis

Alberta Pruill

Marjorie Domingue

Bessie Louise Stovall

Margaret Mitchell

Darnesha Harris

Frankie Perkins

Monique Deckard

Kayla Moore

Queonna Zophia Edmonds

Sheneque Proctor

Kyam Livingston

Wanda Jean Allen

Kimberly McCarthy

Meagan Hockaday

Litvishma Millerr

Summer Marie Lane

Antoinette Griffin

Desseria Whitmore

Adebusola Tairu

Erica Stevenson

Halley Simone Lee

Erika Tyrone or Erica Rhena Tyrone

Lanaka Lucas

Breeonna Mobley

Antonia Martines Lagares

Delicia C. Myers

Tameika Carter

Dana Larkin

Kassandra Perkins

Rekia Boyd

Stacey Wright

Dorothy Smith Wright

BreeAnne Green

Adaisha Miller

Bettie Jones

Catrell Ford

India Kager

Deresha Armstrong

Chanda White (Pickney)

Sahlah Ridgeway

Marlene Rivera

Lashondria Rice

Brandy Martell

Marquesha McMillan

India Beaty

Chandra Weaver

Teikeia Dorsey

Deanna Cook Patrick

Ashley Sinclair

Zella Ziona

Tiara Thomas

Papi Edwards

India Clarke

Constance Graham

Shade Schurer

Erica Collins

Rosann Miller

Lonfon Chanel

Sonji Taylor

Malaika Brooks

Ashton O’Hara

Vida DeShondrell Byrd

Maria Tripp

Eveline Barros-Cepeda

Rosa Flores Lopez

Sarah Ann Riggins

Ty Underwood

Yazmin Vash Payne

Kandis Capri

Elisha Walker

Keonna Redmond

Rikessa La’Shae Lee

Charquissa Johnson

Fatou-Mata Ntiamoah

MOVE bombing victims

Kristina Grant Infiniti

Ariel Levy

Yolanda Thomas

Marquita Bosley

Barbara Lassere

Taja Gabrielle DeJesus

Tamara Dominguez

Vionique Valnord

Linda Yancey

Penny Proud

Amber Monroe

Brianna Elaine Carmina Ford

Kendrinka T. Williams

Arabella Bradford

Loretta Gerard

Hanna Abukar

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Mrnell Robertson Villarreal

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Denise Nicole Glasco

Mercedes Williamson

Dominique Battle

Demetra Boyd

Francine Sonnier

Angelique Styles

Linda Joyce Friday

Shari Bethel Cartmell

Ashaunti Butler

Laniya Miller

I was scrolling and expected the names to stop….but they just kept going…and going…

Exactly why it needs to be reblogged. Shit is crazy.

Angel aura geode sphere

How I want my bank account to look like by 25.

Claiming it.

Waaaaay up 🙏🏾

11:11am on the receipt.

Reblog for prosperity, and success. May you always have what you need.

That’s what I’m saying

I pray. Me one day 😌

Reblog if you wish cancer didn't exist.

This is the money Kodak reblog for financial blessings

Beyonce - Hold Up

The world @ America.

So many things kill me in this video:

1. How she just tappin random buttons in the beginning

2. How she says “I am confusion”

3. The way she says “explain”

This will always be my favorite video

I'm dead

pancake

Where do I purchase? This song is hot fire.

this is dope af !

Omg yes

Everything about this turned me on

Lit

still no word on who dis is or….?

@y-moi love it

@xtheonlyshinobii bars

@lightskinlivinglavish it’s Loyle Carner

thank you!

his voice makes me want to listen

Damn. That was dope.

This is the money Patrick. Reblog so money will come your way

Reblog if you wish cancer didn't exist.

I had my ups and downs, but I always find the inner strength to pull myself up. I was served lemons, but I made LEMONADE.

You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions. You are not your parent’s possessions.

Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black…. Shiiiiiiiid, when you black….

Jhené Aiko On Out Of Love