“Didn’t you guys used to be best friends?” breaks my heart every fucking time

Put away the marshmallows kids:/

but father, please, you promised me human flesh to eat… :(

Am I the only one bothered by the change of underwear?

no matter how mad you are you never use some things in arguments

- weight

- gender

- sexuality

- traumatic experiences that the other has gone through

-race

-mental illnesses

-disabilities

Tumblr has taught me more about feminism, women rights, rape culture, slut shaming, etc, more than school ever had. And there is something wrong with that.

Goodbye

BRUH OMG!!!!!

when you tired of not having a bae

the drum is filled with hot steam and then sprayed with cold water. the pressure on the outside of the drum is far more than inside. the pressures try to maintain and find balance taking the drum as a casualty.

“Oh FUCK that’s cold!”

when youre in the shower and someone flushes the toilet

My Chemistry teacher did this the first day of class with a coke can, a hotplate, and a basin of water. I have never forgotten the scientific principles behind it, and here’s why.

There were 20-something of us in the classroom, all dying of sleep deprivation since it was the first day back to school, first class of the day. Mr. Moses was that teacher you weren’t sure how to deal with. I mean, the man’s name was Noah Eugene Moses, for starters. He drove a Harley to school, but also drove the bus. He had giant cokebottle glasses and a doofy mustache with shaggy ex-Beatles hair. He always wore suspenders and a grease-stained t-shirt because he had a potbelly and taught the shop/electrical classes. He wasn’t even really lecturing; he was throwing in tidbits of the syllabus in the midst of bad jokes and fun stories. We were all a bit nervous, because none of us had taken a class from him before, but his tests were legendary—nobody had ever made it out with an A (until I did, but that’s another story for another time and involves a really awesome bet and some hair cutting scissors).

Well, as we were fighting to stay awake, and attempting to take notes of whatever he was talking about, he was pacing around the room from here to there, straightening things and moving stuff. He was very scatterbrained, and it was easy to tell from how he kept forgetting where he put his coke. Turns out, that was just a ruse. He had the can filled with just a tiny bit of water, and the things he was moving around were stacks of papers and books hiding the hot plate and water basin. So he set his coke can down onto the hot plate, continued talking loudly enough so we wouldn’t hear the water boiling, and then knocked it over really fast into the water basin.

BANG!!!!!!!!

Three girls fell out of their seats, one dude swore so violently I’m pretty sure the devil himself cringed, everyone at least jumped and screamed, and I actually broke my pen in half.

See, with rapid decompression comes a vacuum, and with a vacuum comes a rushing of air that creates a massive sound. Think “thunder”. That’s the same principle behind it. His little tiny coke can of steam into a bucket of ice water, and we had a bang so loud the band teacher came in from across the hall to see “what was exploding today.” To which Mr. Moses responded, “Nothing, it imploded. Explosions are chapter 3.”

And that’s when I knew it was going to be the best class ever.

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lol i wonder if teachers just sit there and laugh while marking my school tests

My dad went to college in a really bad part of town when he was younger and there were always a lot of homeless people asking for money. So he gave as much as he could to people, but there were so many people so at a point he’d just start saying, “Oh, sorry. Not today”. And walk off.

So this one day my dad was in a rush and this scruffy looking guy comes up to him and mumbles somthing about money. And my dad just walked by and said “Oh, sorry. Not today.” And he went inside the bookstore he was going to.

Once my dad gets inside the bookstore he turns around to see the guy who came up to him outside looking very angry. And then he realized that the guy had said, “Give me all your money.”

So my dad said “Oh, sorry. Not today.” to someone who was trying to mug him.

Depression isn’t always sadness

It’s also feeling numb at 3am but smiling and laughing with friends at 3pm

It’s also not being able to get out of bed even though you were fine the day before

It’s also not eating because you aren’t hungry or can’t be bothered, but also over eating because you’re bored and feel empty

It’s also loving too hard or not at all

Depression isn’t a constant feeling of sadness, depression can be hidden in happiness.

Your depression is valid even if people say it’s not just because you smile

e.h (via scarred-idiots)

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it