girl: can you stop wearing those glasses while we have sex?

me:

You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice

He’s here

i do smiley faces with the nose :-) because i want to make sure he is able to snif.

whats he sniffing

Oh you know.

this video always cheers me up

Things not to do when you’re angry at ya bf/husband:

>throw a drink/food in his face >destroy their property >physically assault them

>use the personal things they told you against them

Bring up their biggest insecurities

Posted over a full month ago: not even 2,000 notes

Every girl friend I’ve dated up until this year has done this

Don’t make us mad then. Keep us happy and harm will be done 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

If you don’t get cho crazy ass

post: don’t abuse your boyfriend

y’all:

“Don’t make us mad then” GIRL do you not know how the fuck human interaction works… the shit is gon happen whether he meant to or not it’s everybody’s responsibility not to react with physical violence like a FUCKING JACKASS especially if it wasn’t that damn serious

!!!! Important post.

Abusive people always want to make it your fault they reacted violently

🗣🗣🗣🗣 ABUSIVE PEOPLE ALWAYS WANT TO MAKE IT YOUR FAULY THEY REACTED VIOLENTLY

^^^^^^^^

this is literally how i dance

This went from “wow that’s pretty neat” to “WTF ITS ALIVE” real quick

she did that

What do you call a pony with a raspy voice? A little hoarse.

you are what you yeet

do u ever see a boy and ur like… wow get the fuck away from me

me throughout the year: if only i could justify buying this Thing :/ Maybe christmas or my birthday.

my mom: give me a list of things you want for christmas/your birthday

me: i have never wanted for anything ever in my entire life

It’s pumpkin season guise.

FEED THE PUMPKINS

someone that never texts me: hey whats up? :)

me:

:’(

And then you survive.