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Welcome to my crazy mind

@yoshi-yusko

new to this sh!t so give me a couple months before I understand
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The spread of the black death.

Poland

Poland, tell us your secret.

Poland is the old new Madagascar. 

If I remember correctly, Poland’s secret is that the jews where being blamed all over europe (as usual) as scapegoats for the black plague. Poland was the only place that accepted Jewish refugees, so pretty much all of them moved there. 

Now, one of the major causes of getting the plague was poor hygiene. This proved very effective for the plague because everyone threw their poop into the streets because there were no sewers, and literally no one bathed because it was against their religion. Unless they were jewish, who actually bathed relatively often. When all the jews moved to Poland, they brought bathing with them, and so the plague had little effect there.

Milan survived by quarantining its city and burning down the house of anyone showing early symptoms, with the entire family inside it. 

I reblogged this tons of times, but the Milan info is new.

Damn Italy, you scary.

Poland: “Hey, feeling a bit down? Have a quick wash! There, you see? All better”

Milan:Aw, feeling a bit sick are we? BURN MOTHERFUCKER, BURN!!!!!”

Also, this might have something to do with it: from what I understand, O blood type is uncommonly… common in Poland. Something to do with large families in small villages and a LOT of intermarriage. The black plague was caused by a bacterium that produced, in its waste in the human body, wastes that very closely mimic the “B” marker sugars on red blood cells that keep the body from attacking its own immune system. Anyone who has a B blood type had an immune system that was naturally desensitized to the presence of the bacterium, and therefore was more prone to developing the disease. Anyone who had an O type was doubly lucky because the O blood type means the total absence of ANY markers, A or B, meaning that their bodys’ immune system would react quickly and violently against the invaders, while someone with an A may show symptoms and recover more slowly, while someone with B would have just died. Because O is a recessive blood type, it shows in higher numbers when more people who carry the recessive genes marry other people who also carry the recessive gene. Poland, which has a nearly 700 year history of being conquered by or partnering with every other nation in the surrounding area, was primarily an agricultural country, focused around smaller, farming communities where people were legally tied to, and required to work, “their” land, and so historically never “spread” their genes across a large area. The economy was, and had been, unstable for a very long period of time leading up to the plague, the government had been ineffective and had very little reach in comparison to the armies of the other countries around for a very very long time, and so its people largely remained in small communities where multiple generations of cross-familial inbreeding could have allowed for this more recessive gene to show up more frequently. Thus, there could be a higher percentage of O blood types in any region of the country, guaranteeing less spread of the illness and moving slower when it did manage to travel. Combine this with the fact that there were very few large, urban centers where the disease would thrive, and with the above facts, and you’ve got a lovely recipe for avoiding the plague.

Interestingly enough, as a result from the plague, the entirety of Europe now has a higher percentage of people with O blood type than any other region of the world. 

WHY IS THIS ALL SO COOL

When Tumblr teaches you more about the plague than 12 years of school ever did.

Just to throw a nod in, as a medieval historian, this is all credible, and is the leading theory as to the plagues effectiveness at this point. So. Enjoy your new knowledge!

Wow. This is cool knowledge!

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DM (Summarizing what happened last session): And then Usha said that she’s going to order danger kitty (dangerous powerful hedge beast that’s following her around) to rip Johnny’s balls off and eat them if he won’t agree.

Usha OOC: Not the exact quote but okay.

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one of my favorite tropes is when a character is talking in the foreground and something happens in the background that directly contradicts what they’re saying

foreground: character is talking about how they pride themselves on being a good parent

background: character’s 3 year old son starts a car and speeds off

also

Image

This will never get old.

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I hate when u say “deja vu” out loud n someone ur with goes “what was it?” Like bitch we all can barely communicate the most straightforward ideas without utter confusion and chaos…..u rly believe it is within my capacity to explain exactly what fleeting moment of temporal embodiment made me feel like a vague reincarnated ghost girl trapped in a child’s dream??? Surely u are mistaken.

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There’s currently a large rock wall that the players need to scale to catch up with some Ashari scouts

Cleric: ok I’m going to climb the wall *rolls a 3 for an athletics check*

DM (me): You get a running start, and instead of starting to climb the wall when you get to it, you keep running face-first into cold stone.

Cleric: can I roll to Kool-Aid man through the wall?

DM: … ok… roll strength

Cleric: *rolls 16*

DM: As you blast through this wall, you hear distant echos of “OH YEAH” from the great red one

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this guy would survive in movies

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thenarator

girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.

are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face

well thats the price you pay for fucking terrifying someone

This whole post is GOLD

Yea, if you’re an actor and you deliberately try to freak people out then you need to be aware it’s flight or FIGHT. There’s a chance that someone will run away screaming but someone could also square up and try to kick your creepy ass.

By deciding to be a creepy bastard you are accepting the possibility that you might end up getting hurt and I do not feel sorry for you.

But a quick reminder: if you go to a haunted house, DONT GO if you know you react to fear with violence. You’re paying to be scared by these actors; they’re doing their jobs. They don’t deserve to be punched for something you signed off on.

But if you’re an actor or prankster who’s picking targets who didn’t consent ahead of time, be warned, you might get punched.

Every discussion point on this post is gold

Source: forgifs.com
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Context: I’m running the Dragon’s Demand module for Pathfinder (very minor spoilers ahead). One of the sidequests involves learning the final boss’s true name, which he keeps hidden from all but his closest allies. The party deduces that his Naga consort, who has become fanatically obsessed with him, would likely know his true name. They encounter her, and she’s a bit off her rocker, so she doesn’t attack right away, and simply asks what they’re doing in the abandoned monastery the dragon is using as a base. The party’s halfling bard steps forward, and without missing a beat:

Bard: Oh we’re just building inspectors, you know, for the upcoming construction. We just need the building’s owner to sign off on these plans (she pulls a piece of paper out and scribbles some lines on it), so we can go ahead with the expansion. Haven’t been able to find him, though, and he’ll probably be upset if the work doesn’t start right away. I mean if he’s not around, I suppose his closest relation could sign for him. Not too strict on that count. But it would HAVE to be the owner’s true name; you know, legal implications, paperwork, all that. So yeah, just need a signature of the owner’s true name so we can get to work. Do you know where we could find him or his closest, most intimate partner? (holds out paper and pen) DM (laughing): Okay, you better roll the best bluff check of your life. Bard: (rolls a 12, groans) DM: (rolls the Naga’s Sense Motive. Goes silent) DM: …Well, thanks to one of the worst-timed Nat 1s in Sense Motive history, the Naga instantly believes you! “His most intimate partner? *gasp* Why that’s ME!” She reaches out with her tail, takes the pen and signs his true name on the paper. (holds head in hands as party dies laughing) Bard: Thank you! I’m sure he’ll be pleased! We’ll be out of your hair now. Cleric (who had spent most of the game using Diplomacy to talk his way out of situations): Is… is that how it looks when I talk to people? IS THAT WHAT I SOUND LIKE??

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Context: a half-orc NPC played by the DM has just joined the party. our dwarf fighter is extremely racist against orcs, so we had to make some compromises to keep him from killing the guy

Me(OOC): what if the other half’s dwarf?

DM(OOC): oh, yeah that’ll work. half-orc, half-dwarf

Human fighter: He’s a dork!!!!

The entire party looses it

DM(OOC): in character im offended, but out of character, that’s hilarious

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We’re nearing the end of a months-long sci-fi campaign and the universe is beginning to collapse. It’s worth noting that we’ve been rolling horribly the whole campaign. My character (an engineer) and another (a doctor) are loading weapons onto our ship, when a large humanoid robot confronts us.

Robot: I’m going to need you to stop.

Doctor: No, we’re fine. See, we’re weapons inspectors, and we’re here to… inspect these weapons.

Me: *whispering* shut up…

DM: Roll for persuasion

Doctor: *rolls a 17*

Robot: You may continue… but I require at least one nuclear weapon.

Doctor: Sure, let me just go… put it together… since we’re inspectors I gotta make sure it’s… ready to blow stuff up…

DM: … roll for persuasion

Doctor: *rolls a 19*

Me: *anxiously sweating, I move to the ship and start it up*

Robot: Very well. I will accompany you for assistance.

Doctor: NO! I mean, this could be dangerous… nuclear radiation and all that. Wouldn’t want you to malfunction or anything…

DM: ……… roll for persuasion

Doctor: *rolls a 20*

This goes on for five or six more rolls between the doctor and I. We eventually give the robot a fake weapon, convince him to help us, and leave. Our DM stands up and starts pacing.

DM: THAT WAS A FINAL BOSS. YOU TALKED YOUR WAY OUT OF A FINAL BOSS.

Needless to say, we celebrated that night.

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reblogged
Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.

Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism (via philosophybits)