ive spent about thirty minutes looking at your blog instead of doing homework tbh. your thoughts?
time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time
Top ten quotes from law school, week one:
- “So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”
- “Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”
- “So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”
- “You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y'all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”
- “My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”
- “So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”
- “I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by Baylor policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”
- “And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”
- “All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”
- [makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]
Round two:
- “You don’t want conservatives! You want someone that will redistribute a little wealth! Get some commies! But don’t ask for them out loud, or it won’t end well.”
- “Occasionally someone will walk into your office and start with ‘well just as a matter of principle…’ and that right there? That’s when you pull out your extra-strength Advil, because it will be a long day.”
- “You can walk into a restaurant and just say, ‘I want tea.’ Sweet is implied! If you don’t want it sweet, it’s ‘tea, hold the sugar,’ and I like that!”
- “My biggest goal is to die in Texas. When Gabriel’s trumpet blows, I will be resurrected from Texas dirt… if at all. Depends on his standards.”
- “And I say, ‘How much will you pay me?’ and they say ‘a shitload!’ And I say, ‘how much is a shitload?’ and what do you know? Our definitions match”
- “So you see that it’s an unincorporated association, and your reaction to that should be ‘shit!’ That is absolutely the proper reaction. That’s a good reaction.”
- “You know it’s not perjury if you cross your fingers, right?”
- “I would definitely shank someone for pizza.”
- “Right now you’re… you’re lawyer larvae. I have a sense for these things.”
- “So obviously Congress sprang into action. Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A QUARTER CENTURY”
Round three:
- “And by that I mean CRAC, the acronym, not c-r-a-c-k as in crack. Although I was a defense attorney for a long time, so if you want to know how to make crack, we can cover that in a side session. It’s good information. Very interesting.”
- “And then I file a complaint against my employer for discriminating against me as a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. You know… [sarcastically] the historically discriminated against crew”
- “Listen, I like money. It’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. You can like it just fine.”
- “With the well-pleaded complaint rule, we take a scalpel and we carve out the cause of action. We lift it out of the body, bleeding! It is BLEEDING in your hands! You hold it in front of your face and you ask it, ‘WHO CREATED YOU?’ [groaning] ‘A federal law.’ ‘THEN YOU ARE A FEDERAL CASE!’ If it’s a state case, you cast it, still-beating, aside. And stomp on it.”
- [with deep respect] “You would make a really good anarchist”
- “Beaumont? How’s your family doing?” “Pretty well. I mean, everything is underwater, but it’s fine.”
- “Your argument is what? ‘You can’t make that much money because it isn’t fair?’ This is America. Fair doesn’t matter.”
- “We need ONLY one more thing: someone rich to sue. Can she help us?? We don’t know… until she describes one word on the side of that truck…. ‘Walmart.’ CHA C H I N G (don’t say that part out loud)! What’s forty percent of thirty million?? TWELVE MILLION. Forty percent is the ONLY math I can do in my head, because that is PRIVATE JET MONEY, BABY! The ONLY POINT of being rich is to HAVE A PRIVATE JET, because THOSE THAT DO can MANIPULATE TIME. As you can see, I am passionate on this point.”
- “See this is a tough question because legislators are supposed to make laws, but how would you know that? They haven’t done it in YEARS.”
- “Listen I don’t condone murder-suicide, but like… I feel it.”
Top ten quotes from law school, week one:
- “So the rules thus far are ‘don’t be late’ and ‘don’t be absent from class,’ unless you are absent because of circumstances outside your control. In that case, notify me before class. If I walk in here and you are not in your seat, and I don’t already know why that is the case… I will assume that you are dead. We will hold a brief service in your memory and then continue on, as we know you would want.”
- “Yeah I mean if you don’t know the answer that’s fine, but I’m gonna make you pick the next person I call on. It’s a social experiment I run. I like to see if people pick their friends or their enemies. Wildly amusing. Anyway, be prepared for that.”
- “So as the plaintiff’s counsel, you review all the possible venues and pick the one that’s the fairest to everyone….. haaaaahahaha I’m just kidding. You rig the court in your favor as much as you possibly can.”
- “You’re supposed to go to a basement during a tornado. Why don’t y'all have basements?” “Can’t watch from a basement” “You’re going to die”
- “My own law professor once described admiralty jurisdiction as ‘shit that happens on boats’ so [writes ‘boat shit’ on the board]”
- “So then Congress gave itself a raise and America shouted, ‘Give it back you evil bastards!!!’ so loudly that they did.”
- “I will provide you with pizza. For beverages, you’re on your own, but please abide by Baylor policy. Which is that we can’t have FUN.”
- “And WHAT do we find outside the cities????? C O W S”
- “All the desks on the third floor are reserved for 3Ls in practice court. Since you’re dying like, 100% of the time, they kindly give you a place to die. Sometimes you can see the lost souls wandering past the balconies….”
- [makes a list of twenty-four things that could go wrong] [writes TRUMP in all caps as number twenty-five]
Round two:
- “You don’t want conservatives! You want someone that will redistribute a little wealth! Get some commies! But don’t ask for them out loud, or it won’t end well.”
- “Occasionally someone will walk into your office and start with ‘well just as a matter of principle…’ and that right there? That’s when you pull out your extra-strength Advil, because it will be a long day.”
- “You can walk into a restaurant and just say, ‘I want tea.’ Sweet is implied! If you don’t want it sweet, it’s ‘tea, hold the sugar,’ and I like that!”
- “My biggest goal is to die in Texas. When Gabriel’s trumpet blows, I will be resurrected from Texas dirt… if at all. Depends on his standards.”
- “And I say, ‘How much will you pay me?’ and they say ‘a shitload!’ And I say, ‘how much is a shitload?’ and what do you know? Our definitions match”
- “So you see that it’s an unincorporated association, and your reaction to that should be ‘shit!’ That is absolutely the proper reaction. That’s a good reaction.”
- “You know it’s not perjury if you cross your fingers, right?”
- “I would definitely shank someone for pizza.”
- “Right now you’re… you’re lawyer larvae. I have a sense for these things.”
- “So obviously Congress sprang into action. Why are you laughing? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A QUARTER CENTURY”
Round three:
- “And by that I mean CRAC, the acronym, not c-r-a-c-k as in crack. Although I was a defense attorney for a long time, so if you want to know how to make crack, we can cover that in a side session. It’s good information. Very interesting.”
- “And then I file a complaint against my employer for discriminating against me as a white, Anglo-Saxon protestant. You know… [sarcastically] the historically discriminated against crew”
- “Listen, I like money. It’s the love of money that’s the root of all evil. You can like it just fine.”
- “With the well-pleaded complaint rule, we take a scalpel and we carve out the cause of action. We lift it out of the body, bleeding! It is BLEEDING in your hands! You hold it in front of your face and you ask it, ‘WHO CREATED YOU?’ [groaning] ‘A federal law.’ ‘THEN YOU ARE A FEDERAL CASE!’ If it’s a state case, you cast it, still-beating, aside. And stomp on it.”
- [with deep respect] “You would make a really good anarchist”
- “Beaumont? How’s your family doing?” “Pretty well. I mean, everything is underwater, but it’s fine.”
- “Your argument is what? ‘You can’t make that much money because it isn’t fair?’ This is America. Fair doesn’t matter.”
- “We need ONLY one more thing: someone rich to sue. Can she help us?? We don’t know… until she describes one word on the side of that truck…. ‘Walmart.’ CHA C H I N G (don’t say that part out loud)! What’s forty percent of thirty million?? TWELVE MILLION. Forty percent is the ONLY math I can do in my head, because that is PRIVATE JET MONEY, BABY! The ONLY POINT of being rich is to HAVE A PRIVATE JET, because THOSE THAT DO can MANIPULATE TIME. As you can see, I am passionate on this point.”
- “See this is a tough question because legislators are supposed to make laws, but how would you know that? They haven’t done it in YEARS.”
- “Listen I don’t condone murder-suicide, but like… I feel it.”
catalystcomet-archive-deactivat
hello this is my favorite video ever please please
Are any of y’all making mistakes too or is it just me
the best tiktok ever made
dfnlfk; THAT PUPPY IS GOOGLING "AM I ADOPTED"
this is the knife rat. reblog to get stabbed to death with a knife within the next month. if you do not reblog you will not get stabbed.
gyeomdiary-deactivated20210430
this is so fucking funny
minerfromtarn
This is so great. @chiribomb @cblgblog @thefingerfuckingfemalefury you all have to watch this.
Omfg XD
I love the judges faces like “What is happpppeeennniiiing”
THE SHEER FUCKING BALLS THIS TOOK
Marylou,
I read a study about this once: alcohol lowers your inhibitions, but does nothing to alter the “core” of your personality or belief system. It just loosens you up, makes you care about what people around you think a little less.Thats it, no fluff. People do things when they’re drunk, like cheating on their partners or saying mean things because those are things they’d probably like to do already anyway, but their sober inhibitions keep them from doing it. Ernest Hemingway once said “drunk words, sober thoughts” and it’s more accurate than people give it credit for. As such, the “I didn’t mean to, I did it because I was drunk” is a sorry excuse for any poor behavior a person displays while inebriated, again because it doesn’t do anything to alter who you are. If someone is more likely to cheat, or get mean or have any kind of negative disposition while they’re drunk, then it’s that person’s responsibility to either not drink, or try to have some foresight while they’re drunk to make sure they won’t do anything that Sober-Them would regret.
Personally, (though I know this isn’t the case for everyone and I’m not trying to imply that it is or it should be,) I feel the most like myself when I’m drunk or when I’m tripping on mushrooms. But that’s just me.
I don’t know the situation or why you’re asking the readers for advice, so I hope I don’t sound too presumptive in my letter and I hope that the responses you receive help you out and give you the answer you’re looking for.
Cheers,
L
What if The Good Place was an animated show? Here’s my take on Team Cockroach!
Omg this is amazing 😍
fakehistory
Scientists create first successful animal hybrid (2017)
Burn the witch
An Idea To Prevent A Nuclear War
“My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.” - Richard Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (1981)
Never forget that part of the reason this system was never implemented was that when he presented it to his colleagues, their response was IIRC “George, that’s terrible! If he has to take an innocent life, he may never press the button.”
In The Lion King, a character named “Scar” kills Mufasa by throwing him off a cliff to be trampled. This is a reference to NASCAR, which often sees its drivers die from antelope stampedes on the track.