ok ig

I see a trillion dollar lawsuit here coming.🖕😏🙃

god remember when there were no ads AND you could post dick on here. take me back i'll be grateful this time

is this talking about tumblr or the internet in general

allrecipes.com

what should i get at ihop

alright.

It's all fun and games with the dangerous crow boy til u realize that the latex condom counts as plastic too. Soon you'll be laying an egg

Lots of people in the notes are concocting workarounds or technicalities so the crow boy can have safe sex: you forget. he's literally dangerous

more ex stories

i think this might have counted as psychological torture

France: hundreds of years with baguette -- DID NOT INVENT BANH MI

Vietnam: less than 100 years with baguette -- INVENTED BANH MI

ANOTHER WIN FOR VIETNAM‼️‼️‼️‼️

🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳🇻🇳

we’re killing our planet

a ‘hot minute’ can be both a very short period of time, and a very long one. however, a hot minute in the past (“It's been a hot minute since I've seen you!”) is most often a long duration, while a hot minute in the future (“I'll be with you in a hot minute!”) is most often a short duration. this suggests some very strange things about the temperature of time.

Doppler effect

Oh good, now I have a cheat sheet for Uncensored Nate

I’ve narrowed it down to these three top reasons OP should be allowed to commit arson

Walking around with this sheet in hand and pointedly taking it out and methodically searching through it every time I want to say something

This is killing me.

Excuse me, sir, has to be my favorite of the list

i just showed an ant the truth and it popped like a firecracker

i feel like an often-overlooked downside to 10-episode seasons and the death of the "monster of the week" format is that we get way less whump variety nowadays. used to be that there'd be dozens of opportunities for your fave to get punched or kidnapped or hypnotized or what have you. these days if it doesn't fit into the main plot, it just doesn't happen. this is a tragedy. we should be protesting.

dear smut writers,

to lave means to wash/bathe/lap at, and it's in basically every sex scene ever

a lathe is a machine that smoothes a spinning piece of wood or metal by cutting thin layers off it, and it's also in an unfortunate number of sex scenes

so when you say things like this:

I am imagining things like this:

#does it count as cbt

im sick of having crushes its time for the tables to turn and ppl to have crushes on me!!!!!

who want me

I got lumpy in two. did you see

one thing about me is that I'm looking stuff up. you mentioned something and I don't know it? I am pulling out my phone and googling that shit. an actor? theoretical physics? a world leader? a vocabulary word? I am on the wikipedia page as we speak

Accidentally clicking on an AI assistant feels like clicking on a link that’s going to give you a virus.