sorry if i'm being dramatic but i just need to talk about this shot again because it's so simple and yet it shook the very ground beneath my feet. a barbie is crying. i feel like i need to repeat that--A BARBIE IS CRYING. I JUST SAW A BARBIE CRY. and she's not supposed to! she's a toy you play with until bald spots form on her head and her legs become bent out of shape and one of her arms fall off. but none of that matters because she shouldn't feel any of it. she shouldn't hurt. her mouth is literally curved to a perpetual smile because she's perfect and her life is perfect no matter what sordid thing you do to her. Barbie is a woman but she's not a person with feelings! she's plastic! and now i'm sitting here thinking about just how much seven year old me internalized all of that.
The game is called
Can you pet
That’s what it’s called
For those who still don’t know
This is Paul
If you find me relatable, you probably need therapy babes
One struggle 🫡
if we keep getting fatter and hornier we can abolish all world militaries by 2026
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
He's here...
Happy 1st birthday George.....
You're laughing. They've disrespected the pouch and you're laughing.
pls rb if u vote on this one <3
alright fuck it reblog this I'm curious to see how fast it gets flagged
They exist. (Speaking from experience)
the verse just makes this better though
Galatians 4:16 “So now have I become your enemy by telling you the truth?”
Warabi: ikkan!!! Ikkan! Open the fucking do- oh.. hey Neta.
Neta: ikkan went out. He has a meeting with ink towers studios. He's working on a soundtrack for some movie...... Why are you here
Warabi: yeah I know I'm supposed to be there but I told him I'll get ready at his place ..... He left an hour early as usual.
Neta: well make it quick. I have to open up shop in an hour... Don't want you snooping though my shit.
Warabi: yeah.... Yeah what ever Neta..... You know when ikkan told me he got a boyfriend I thought 'wow that's great. He needed to get laid'
Neta: watch it.
Warabi: 'he's so up tight and standoffish, a partner would be good for him' you know what? It is good for him. He changed. I mean he's no social butterfly but he's become a little more open, slightly vulnerable. His smiles are slightly bigger and he's able to hold a conversation that's more than 2 minutes.
Like his vibes have completely changed. He walks into the studio and the whole room gets a little bit lighter. I thought to myself wow this guy must be great for ikkan. I have to meet this guy I have to see the man who got lill ol ikkan out of his shell. Come to find it's this jealous possessive ass with an attitude problem and always has something negative to say about me. Well apparently everyone has something negative say about me nowadays.
Neta: there's a lot to say about you. you can't help it, You're just that irritating. Now do what you need to do and go. Also I'm not jealous! I've actually known ikkan longer than he's known you.
Warabi: you know what you are such an asshole! What did I do to you honestly?! I'm not going to steal ikkan away from you! If I wanted to I would have done it by now.
Neta: watch it!
Warabi: NO YOU WATCH IT! I'M SO TIRED OF YOU TREATING ME LIKE SHIT LIKE IM LESS OF A CEPHALOPOD. I EXPECT THAT FROM OTHERS I NEVER EXPECTED IT FROM YOU!! I'M ALREADY HAVING A SHIT DAY! I DON'T NEED YOU TO MAKE IT WORSE!.................
Neta:................... Are you crying?
Warabi: .............. (Crying) Cod shut up!!! (full on sobbing)
Neta: *sigh* ok ....... what happened what do mean by that?
Warabi: sniff...... It's nothing........ It doesn't concern you
Neta: Warabi I'm actually trying to be nice to you just please tell me-
Warabi: some one told inksider Media that my grandfather is Octavio and it spread to other news sources and so many are like asking me weird questions and accusing me of things and spreading lies that I'm a spy or that I was in the military and that I was a part of some coup against inklings and the meeting is just the movie producers telling us that they don't want diss-pair to be a part of the movie or the soundtrack anymore because of the controversy and everything is happening all at once on my way here someone told me to go back to the sewers *gasp* (incoherent sobbing) I don't know what to do! (harder sobbing) I'VE NEVER BEEN TO THE SEWERS
Neta:.............. Ok l.... -
Warabi: *sigh* I just wanted to get dressed and just try to make it through the day and then you come in your usual asshole self just treats me like garbage and I don't need it right now..... Especially from you.
Neta: ........
Warabi:...... *Sniff* I don't know a lot of octarians .... I spent most of my life on the surface in other countries..... I know I'm so privileged..... I was surrounded by mostly fishlings, coral and anatomies I was barely around any cephalopods growing up. My parents were no help and they were barely around they didn't teach me anything about the culture. I moved to Inkopolis and I made mostly inkling friends the only octarian that I could truly call my friend was Marina and then I met you.
Neta: .......
Warabi: (ugly crying) I was really excited to meet you. I've seen you play with squid squad. like wow another octarian he is a part of the culture, he could probably teach me about octarian stuff, real octarian culture. all I got was the cold shoulder and anger! And for what!? What did I do!? That really hurt Neta! it really did. (Sobbing but not as hard as it was)
Neta: nothing....... You did absolutely nothing to deserve that..... I'm sorry.... I guess part of it is jealousy.... I guess
Warabi: uh my Cod I don't want to fuck ikkan! I don't even know why you want to! He's weird, emotionally impotent and owns two pairs of shoes!
Neta: no that's not what I meant and that's not true He's very emotional just not in public.
What I meant by jealousy. I meant I was jealous of you. Like you said you were on the surface your whole entire life. I spent 14 years not even knowing what the real sun looked like....my mom never never got to see it she didn't even know what rain was hehe ....... I guess I was just angry that I didn't get to have that life that you had. I hate when people call it the sewers but that's what they were. Those bunkers were part of abandoned sewers left by mammalian, I lived in the lowest rundown part. We had to boil all our water and freeze and try to preserve our food because we always got it a week past the expiration date. The closest school available for me was near octo valley which is like an hour away so I had to get up extra early just to go to school. The kids are nicer areas used to say that I smell bad. I probably did because again the sewers. We didn't have enough water so we had to bathe at least once a month. Honestly it's still something I'm self-conscious about I haven't been home in like 20 something years and I still worry that I smell like waist water....
Warabi: you don't
Neta thank you........ It was mean when they said it. It was so much worse when I went to the surface for a mission and I snuck off to play turf war you know like a regular kid. Some shitty little inkling covered his nose and said that I smelled like a toilet......... That hits so different..... I felt this intense shame when he said that..... Like I was less than I was beneath them.....*Sniff*.....
Warabi: looks like we're both crying huh
Neta: heh I guess hehe. so Instead of actually dealing with that trauma I just took it out on you, thinking that you believed you were above everybody else because of your life.
Warabi : That's not true I'm very grateful for what I have and I don't look down on others who don't............ What did you do
Neta: huh?
Warabi: when he said that you smell like a toilet. What do you do? How do you react to that kind of stuff? I was on the train and some urchin just said go back to the sewers to my face. I don't- I froze, I was shocked. I didn't say anything to him, I should have done something and I didn't know what I should have done.
Neta: That's the shitty thing about it you can't do anything sometimes. If you say something then they're just going to paint you as this violent reactionary octarian and if you ignore them they're just going to assume that you don't speak inkish and if you don't even bother speaking the language what's the point in being here. it's a lose lose situation and sometimes you just...............you just have to let them be. It's frustrating but you look at them and let them know that you understood what they said and look away. Don't give them the satisfaction of being offended because that's what they want they want a reaction and you don't give them one.
Warabi: (deep sigh) ok. And what about the other stuff All these rumors about me and my grandfather I had no control in what he does. Why are they blaming me for all his shit!
Neta: you have squitter right?
Warabi: yeah
Neta: just make a thread and tell your side of the story Tell the truth. You're related to Octavio and that's it. You don't work for him, you don't work with him and you are not associated with anything. You're not a spy you were never in the military. The only thing that they got right was that he is your grandfather and for those who are spreading those lies and choosing to believe those lies you need to check their biases and prejudice against octarians that's all you need to say and that's all you need to do. If someone has something to say let ikkan or Marina or any of your friends support you and let them deal with naysayers. This will All blow over okay trust me. When I joined the squid squad it felt everyone hated me. I was replacing their favorite member. They didn't like that and they tried to find any reason to dislike me and they used me being octarian as a reason. Saying crap like 'I'm not even squid why would he even join' 'are we sure we can trust him' 'he looks like a criminal' a lot of stuff just don't let it get to you I guarantee they're just a vocal minority.
Warabi: ok.............. Thank you....
Neta: it's not a problem..... I'm sorry I did you so terribly I just-
[Hug]
Warabi: doesn't matter now ......
Neta: [hugs back ]
Warabi.. .. Oh shit! I'm late for the meeting I'm not even dressed!
Neta: screw that meeting. You said that they're only having the meeting so they can fire you from some shit movie you don't need to deal with that let ikkan handle it. You want to come to work with me at the mall? they have an abandoned movie theater and a shrimp Castle
Warabi: oh my Cod Yes! are we becoming best friends? All we needed to do was trauma bond oh ikkan is going to hate this!!
Neta: HA yeah he will...........and he's not that weird
Warabi: I once caught him sucking on his shirt collar when he was working on a song
Neta: see that's cute.... means he was focused
Warabi: ugh..........whatever you say he's your partner
