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Mercury Writes Fanfic

@yeswevegotavideo / yeswevegotavideo.tumblr.com

|| AO3: MercuryStarlight(WoolandWater) ||  Hi, I'm Mercury. Late-30s/Early-40s, neurodivergent (chronic mental illness and ADHD), cis (she/her), bi, gray-ace, married, black, mixed, goofy, overly-serious, not serious enough, just trying to figure out the world like everybody else. I have a tag deficiency. In this house, we wolf down wedges of Loving-NB-And-GNC-Folk Pie, we wash it down with Respecting-ALL-Trans-Folk Juice, we are proud Queer members of the greater Queer Community, and our various acronyms of choice always include an A for Aro/Ace!!  **NO TERFS, NO TRANSMEDS, NO EXCLUSIONISTS -- NO EXCEPTIONS** I literally do not have time for your bullshit. I am old, and my field of fucks is barren.
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Sure, "fandom" per se isn't an intrinsic part of the human condition, insofar as its particulars are mediated by a particular set of legal and cultural attitudes toward art and expression, but if you think the seeds of something like fandom aren't there, you've never seen a six-month-old baby spontaneously develop an extremely specific interest.

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

fucking look at this shit though

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

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amazing

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

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One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

This is getting better and better.

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

Old movies had the best special effects

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time.  They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers.  Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before.  It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them.  Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass.  They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that.  And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that.  One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking.  Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent.  Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

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That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

This post just gets better and better with time

just saw someone advocating for ppl going off their meds so they aren’t reliant on “big pharma” and I’m like. what disease do you have that spontaneously treats itself the moment you feel morally superior to others? I’m dying to know

the x files is funny because at the time it was “progressive” or whatever to have the ultra-rational, levelheaded character be a woman

but it’s also a show where all the fucked up alien shit actually is real, so she’s just constantly wrong about everything

What’s funny is how often they’re both wrong. Mulder will be like “the victims all had their livers scooped clean out this is obviously the aliens escalating from cattle mutilation” and Scully will be like “don’t be silly Mulder this is clearly just a serial killer who’s really good with surgical tools” and then it turns out the actual killer is an immortal sewer man who comes out ever quarterly century to feast on human liver.

I cannot stress enough that this is literally the plot of an actual episode

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My roommate (the one who hates septum piercings so much they make her gag) thinks my art is the most disgusting and ugly shit on the planet, and every time I announce that I've sold a piece or gotten into a show, she makes the kind of facial expression you'd expect of someone eating chili at a live autopsy and says, "I'm glad you're having fun! :)"

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You're all misunderstanding; I love her so much and I'm having a great time. It's like when you're a kid and you chase other, less cool kids around the playground with a fun worm you found.

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She doesn't consume any media besides sitcoms and reality TV, and doesn't have social media besides Facebook, so when I come to her with something even remotely bizarre, she just has absolutely nothing to compare it to. Like, when I show her something mildly weird that made like this:

She's just fully convinced that I personally invented the concept of body horror all on my own specifically to make her life a living hell. She thinks I'm the only person like this alive. It's so funny. I love her.

ASTRONAUT 1: weve gotta get this alien out of your chest cavity now. its gonna burst any second. (raises scalpel)

ASTRONAUT 2: but this chest bursting killing machine has a different perspective (grabs partners hand) we have to hear... (ribs cracking. literally dies) both sides

people (mostly on twitter) are pissing me off so much with the "its reddit, who cares"

like, its not a social media, its a collection of forums, if you hate certain subs for their politics or opinions, dont visit those (you control the buttons you press or whatever)

meanwhile were about to lose so much information about niche hobbies and interests,

and these are the same people who were complaining last week that you cant find anything on google without adding "reddit" at the end,

are you fucking stupid, do you want to have to look through unrelated blogs and ai generated/pay walled quora answers everytime you need technical assistance or wanna talk about a hobby? is that what you want?

im this close to losing it

Super fucked up! wtf is wrong with these people?  #IamWithMili!

What is every little girl supposed to have long hair in a ponytail? So happy to see all of the support going her way.

Everybody remembers that we absolutely knew this would happen, right?

Like, trans people predicted this from the start. Everyone was SO SURE they could identify us on sight, and we said “If you run with that assumption you’re going face-first into a goddamn wall” and here we go.

It’s like people forget women with short hair exist.

In the six years that this has happened, Milli has continued to play soccer, is on track for joining a national team, and still keeps her hair short.

Read this and take it in.

Even if you have your papers.

Even if you are fortunate to have your gender match your sex.

Even if you were assigned feminine at birth.

They can still tell you to your face you’re not a woman if you don’t conform to a patriarchal standard of skinny Anglo with long hair.

They can just deny you for no reason at all.

THIS MAKES ALL THOSE SPORTS BANS LAWS USELESS AT PROTECTING CIS GIRLS! The very thing tbey were supposed to do!

Per the notes in this post, you can see that Milli’s ordeal was resolved. But we have an unfortunate June 2023 update from Canada where a couple of ancient chuds stepped up during a 4th grade track-and-field event to harass a kid for “looking” trans and then harass her mothers, calling them “genital mutilators.”

If this didn’t occur to you before, you’re in good company because it never would have crossed my mind either, but I was watching a politics stream that mentioned the following: These new laws being enacted where states want to enforce genital inspections of children at any given time for the slightest accusation of gender non-conformity? There are no regulations, no existing legal frameworks for inspections like this. Who is going to go looking into the pants of kids when these laws kick in? Oh, you know. Just some person they appoint. Will it be a doctor in every single case? Do we wanna bet on that? Will parents have access to that person’s background, criminal history, or previous experience/employment information? We don’t know. This information is not prescribed in every instance of legislation.

If the parent doesn’t consent to the inspection without that information, what amount of paperwork will ever be enough? Milli’s story is from 2017. We have updated medical records systems because of COVID and immunization tracking. Do you wanna bet that an extensive records inspection will be enough for these people in lieu of permission for a physical inspection? Or will it just never be enough until some skeezer appointed by (probably friends with) another conservative skeezer gets their actual hands on actual children?

For all the conservative hollering about every LGBT+ person being a groomer, they aren’t ready to present the full, alleged plan for trans people to take over the youth except for vague accusations of indoctrination, no matter how medically, psychologically, or socially infeasible. They can’t list off names of trans people who have supposedly been on bathroom assaulting sprees. But we can name serial offenders who spew bile at the queer community out one side of their face while the other is buried deep in the filth of abuse. We know them nationally even if they are local politicians. They have recognizable names like Matt Gaetz, Roy Moore, Jim Jordan. Trump, too.

And now we also have conservative laws on the books that clearly and publicly entitle conservatives to information about kids’ bodies. We have that information; we know that they want to do this and by what means they deeply desire to do this to children and it will happen to cis children far more than trans children. There are more cis children than trans children, so that’s just statistics. There are conservative parents out among us right now voting for the violations of their own children, expecting that those violations will never come because they are “the good ones”–parents who would never endorse “deviance” in their kids and therefore believe they are beyond possible suspicion. Never mind that, apparently, some mysterious exacting length of hair is apparently enough to trigger some dipshits into transvestigating preteens harder than those weirdos who stare at celebrity crotches on Twitter and TikTok.

They are also voting for the elimination of sex education in schools while we know that some children have only discovered that they’re being abused because they had access to books and information about those aspects of health. (link/link) Yet parents are getting so fucking politics-pilled and so obsessed with purity or transness or conservatism or conspiracies or all of those things that they’re helping remove kids’ access to educational (and preventative!) materials. More than they want to help their children understand and give voice to any abuse they might experience should the worst happen–borne out of these disgusting acts of legislation–they simply want to crush a minority out of existence. They hate queer people so much that they’re going to trample over the bodies and wills of their own children to get to our throats.

Basically every Republican accusation is pretty much a self-report at this point. It’s become a fucking meme. And you’d credit the trans community with having the evasion skills of Bigfoot, the grace of actual ghosts with the way batshit conservos are seeing transness in everyone and everything they experience on a daily basis while their hit rate continues to be 99% cis kids getting clipped by friendly fire.

Ultimately. Ultimately, ultimately, ultimately, at the end of every long day. This is about conservatives seeking one thing: Servile silence. Americans should be pure, simple, working machines. Deviation from the norm leads to dangerous things like considering a union. Anything that isn’t heteronormative does not lead to more babies who will one day join the workforce. Strict homogony produces a quiet working class that toils, prays, starves in silence. That’s all they fucking need from us. Those people at the top hurling “groomer” and “pervert” and “deviant” from the parapets–the company owners who are served delicious money by the legislation of conservatives who are served by the fat, juicy dollars of donors who are the company owners who are served delicious money by the legislation…. etc., etc.

Those people at the top have class consciousness. They are top-class. They want to stay on top. They support each other and each other’s goals up there. And they get the diminishing middle class and all the people who are only aspirationally middle class (financially suffering dearly) to believe that they are always one breath away from joining those ranks and having that solidarity at the top, where everybody keeps each other rich.

We don’t have that class solidarity down here, below them, and where things hurt too much, too often to fool ourselves into thinking we can someday be at the rank where we’re protected by Musk and Bezos and Arnault and Buffett as equals with all the same goals.

We should have that, though. Because it’s the only way to install ourselves, and our public-serving comrades who run for office, into those higher ranks. Your queer comrades, your Muslim, Latine, trans, disabled, single-mother, addiction disorder comrades. Favor them every time. Take their side every time. Every time someone wants to stomp them, or even clown on them, stop and look at that person. Tell them they’re weird. Ask them why they think it’s appropriate to crush a comrade.

Flush this bullshit. That’s where bullshit goes: Away.

This is obviously going to get worse before it gets better because conservatives are foaming-at-the-mouth, say-anything desperate for control. If there’s a law against a form of self expression, break the fucking law. Unjust laws were not meant to be followed. Call conservative filth what it is: Gross. It’s invasive, it’s fucking weird; that’s gross. These people are having fits–losing all their social normativity, not to mention kindness and general cool–just imagining the incredible variety of fabricated horrors they might find between your legs if your fucking hair is a certain length. Unless those people want to buy your clothes, attend to your medical needs, or date you, that is completely fucking deranged and none of their goddamn business. Make fun of them for it. If imagining what my chest looks like under my shirt is baking your noodle, how do you handle a left-hand turn at a stop sign? Do you just pass out and roll into traffic? Are you okay? Are you ever gonna be able to have a normal conversation? Do you wanna sit down before the vapors take you?

Like hashtags are fine. Understanding just how phenomenally nonsense these occurrences are–yes, that’s important. I just encourage you to always drag it back to the root. That these people have an overarching agenda. It doesn’t start or stop with trans people. You could be next. And if you are next, it would be nice to have people behind you and next to you. Mocking the Crowders and Walshes and Shapiros and Rowlings for their complete fragility in the face of a 9-year-old who might win a little footrace on their own goddamn merits and despite the length of their hair.

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Saying that things are arguably other things is great because you're not asserting that it is that thing, you're merely asserting that one can frame an argument that it's that thing – and let me tell you, I'm prepared to make some stupid fucking arguments, so it's basically always true.

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“This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it was written by a preteen, and most of such things posted publicly are fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it has a focus on character and relationships, like the style of a lot of modern fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it keeps referencing people and events with the assumption that the audience is already familiar with them, like how fanfic doesn’t need to rehash the source material)”

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Some further suggestions from the notes:

“This reads like fanfiction (it’s a love story for the ages as long as you can overlook that the author keeps misspelling ‘you're’)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (you can tell the author was having a blast writing this and now so do you reading it)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author is clearly info-dumping about a very niche hobby of theirs that they’re passionate about)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the characters keep getting put in increasingly weirder situations which you’d normally only find in fanfic)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (the author felt the need to rehash the characters from when they were first introduced instead of after several years’ worth of character growth)” vs “This reads like fanfiction (it feels like it had no editor)”

something im noticing is the redditors are just commenting on everything via reblogs with reckless abandon. and its so funny bc thats how youre MEANT to use this fucking website but we've trained ourselves out of it somehow.

I feel like a fucking chimp raised in a lab let out into the wild and just doing shit without understanding wtf is going on because I was raised to click the button to get cookie

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take my upvote. just take it.