A concert for strings in G minor is ok, but a concert for minors in G-strings is not ok.
At the age of 60, Snoop Dogg will be 420 in dog years.
You can’t spell ‘advertisements’ without semen between the tits
it’s weird how you can actually feel it in your chest and stomach when something really hurts your feelings.
The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.
If you’re still trying to avoid spoilers to The Force Awakens, spoiler alert, you’re probably not much of a Star Wars fan.
Since smart watches can now read pulses, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating
Taylor Swift has a hundred songs about break ups and zero songs about blow jobs. Coincidence?
Someday some kid is going to refuse to watch some video because it’s only in 1080p
Jurassic park probably would have been a lot safer if they had used doorknobs instead of door handles.
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The coolest thing about close-knit language families is that you can get the gist of a random text without having studied the language.
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Estonians and Finns every day all day
In the future will people look at our religions like how we look at the Greek gods?
Star wars is the story of a sentient invisible energy field playing chess with itself.
Fun New Year's Eve Joke:
Tell everyone you see today that you will see them in a year. They’ll laugh and assume that you mean you will see them tomorrow. Little do they know at midnight, you will leave society behind to live in the woods for 365 days. Seek solitude. Seek peace.