Dancing with wildflowers (by Milamai)

Llama boys (Pixel Dailies)

Why ‘female-presenting nipples’ matter

When I was 10, my mom made me wear a bra and it felt like a punishment for being different.

When I was 10, I took the bra off when changing for gymnastics and accidentally dropped it in the school hallway. A teacher picked it up and said, “Oh, this must belong to you” and handed it back to me in front of everyone. I quit gymnastics.

When I was 11, I thought maybe the boobs would be okay so long as they didn’t get any bigger than would fit in my hand, so I kept measuring it, but they did.

When I was 12, I started wearing two or three sports bras to smush them down, until one day a classmate said, “Are you wearing two bras?!” while laughing.

When I was 13, a boy told me he wanted to squeeze my boobs “until they popped.”

When I was 14, I got cast in a play as an older character and a classmate told me I got the role because I had boobs.

When I was 17, my mom told me to return a swimsuit because it would be too distracting for my boyfriend’s father.

When I was 21, I got properly fitted for a bra and everyone felt the need to tell me how much better my boobs looked.

When I was 26, I got pregnant and my immediate fear was that my boobs would get bigger.

When I was 28, I got shamed for trying to feed my screaming baby in public without a cover.

When I was 28, people asked me “why are you bothering to use a breastfeeding cover?”

When I was 30, people gave me weird looks that I wasn’t yelling at my kid for putting their hand on my boob.

When I was 31, I avoided going to the beach or pool because I didn’t want to have to deal with boobs in a swimsuit.

When I was 32, I got asked, again, “why don’t you get a breast reduction?”

When I was 33, I watched a 5yo girl get shamed for running around in sweltering heat without a shirt on and had to reprimand a bunch of tween boys who thought it was okay to shame her for doing something they do all the time.

When I was 34, my kid kept patting my breast and saying “Mommy’s squishy breast!!” They will never see me express any shame about tits, because I want them to have a different mindset than I had. Yes, boobs are nice! They’re squishy! They’re fun! That’s the end of that.

I’m 35 and no longer give a fuck. I don’t care anymore. As a teenager my tits were covered in stretch marks. They’ve been engorged with milk. My nipple changed shape with pregnancy. Give it another couple decades and my breasts will probably be all wrinkly. It’s sexual when I’m using it sexually. I don’t fucking care, and I won’t be ashamed anymore. 

Every time a policy or cultural hangup treats people with breasts differently, it fucks us over. 

Tumblr’s new policy makes an active choice to participate in this culture of shame. By classifying “female-presenting nipples” as explicit material, Tumblr has taken a stance that any chest or breast that differs from a male default is worthy of shame and unavoidably sexual. The idea that breasts are shameful and unavoidably sexual is exactly what fucked me up for so much of my life.

Stop shaming people for having bodies. 

*claps until my arms fall off*

I still get shamed at work for having large breasts..what the fuck would you like me to do about them? I love them and I’m sorry you’re afraid of them!

I literally never reblog things like this, but it’s some real shit honestly. My own mom loves to shame me for my chest. I’ve avoided wearing v-necks and low-cut tops ever since my chest got big enough to be a “problem”. She’ll tell me to put on a bra if I’m not wearing one, even if I’m just at home not doing anything. She’s told me I should always wear one around my dad. I’m 21 and she’lll still pull my shirt up for me if it gets “too low”. My own mom sexualizes my chest even when I put in effort to make sure I’m completely covered. “Female presenting nipples” and breasts are not inherently sexual and I’m tired of treating them like they are.

When I was in kindergarten, I asked my grandma for help putting a shirt on. She chastised me because my father could see my bare chest.

had When I was in grade school, I was told that flashing my chest at a guy was how to get what I wanted, not diplomacy.

When I was in middle school, guys would ask to touch my chest. When I’d say no, they’d get violent.

Not wearing a bra was called gross, wearing one that was tight hurt and got me called flat-chested to the point of being laughed at, and wearing a bra that fit got me called a slut. People assumed I was a prostitute because of my chest’s size. There’s nothing wrong with sex work, but I was in middle school.

Wearing anything that showed cleavage or fit any tighter than an XL hoodie, I was called slutty. Told to put my boobs away. My sister would say I looked like a whore. My friends would tell me to stop showing off. My mum would tell me I couldn’t go out like that.

Even now, it’s an issue. If I wear a dress, I must always have it altered or have a coverup because my entire family insists it’s simply wrong. Wearing a tank top at home to bed means being told to put my chest away, to cover up. Boys rarely look me in the eye while talking to me. They rarely listen. Their hands “accidentally” touch as they reach for something so far away.

Wearing anything that doesn’t hide my chest is considered asking for harassment. Wearing XL hoodies is called ‘crusty’ and gross.

And even as our breasts are sexualized at every turn, they’re also criticized. They must not sag, must not be uneven. They must not have marks or be the wrong size. They must have clear skin and matching nipples that are perfectly round and perky. They must be perfect, or we are disgusting for the very thing we are already both valued and criticized for.

There is no winning. And all for the hormones meant to help us grow and survive.

Being small chested I wished I had the bigger boobs other girls had. I was teased for “looking like a boy”, encouraged to wear padded bras and was often overlooked by guys for not being pretty like the other girls. I always thought the grass was so much greener on the other side but this post has educated me. I’m sorry girls, let’s change the dynamic. Let’s teach our daughters to love their bodies!

Jon Juarez  -  http://harrihorrihar.blogspot.com.es  -  https://www.facebook.com/Harriorrihar  -  https://harriorrihar.myportfolio.com  -  https://www.instagram.com/harriorrihar  -  http://harriorrihar.tumblr.com  -  https://twitter.com/harriorrihar  -  https://www.etsy.com/shop/harriorrihar  -  https://vimeo.com/harriorrihar

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