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Me Minding Me

@ycachuppachips-blog

The truth is that I’m genuinely a shy, socially awkward, introverted person. At a big party, I’m like Bambie in the headlights. It’s too much stimulation for me, which is why I end up going to the bathroom! I need time outs! I get anxious. I’m terrible at small talk and I have a ridiculously short attention span.I feel a pressure when I’m meeting new people because I’m aware of their expectations. That makes socializing difficult.

I never noticed before that the donkey Belle was using to drive her washing machine invention was Mr. Potts’; you can see him here removing the animal from the scene. I’m sure Belle asked permission to borrow it though, and didn’t just “borrow” it–he is one of the few villagers who actually acts nice to her, and Belle is kind to those who are kind to her in turn. Speaking of kind villagers…

Bless Pere Robert for quietly going over to help Belle pick up her laundry without fuss or anything. He really reminds me a lot of Chapeau actually–always quietly there in the background, there whenever Belle needs some help or support or just someone to talk to. He deserves more recognition.

@sweetfayetanner - do you think, too, that Pere Robert and Chapeau are a lot alike in that sort of regard (quiet, in the background, always there to help at a moments notice and so on?)

How come I have never seen this photo !!?!? And I haven't seen this scene in the movie. Someone please explain this ... SOMEONEEE ?!?!?!? ANYONEEEE?!?!?

WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN THIS RARE PHOTOOO SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS PHOTO FOR MEEE WHICH PART OF THE MOVIE WAS THIS SOMEONEEEE??? ANYONEEE???

One of the things I really like about Jane Austen’s novels is how worthy the male leads are of being romantic interests. They’re not perfect, but they’re as close as someone can reasonably be expected to be; honest, forthright men who will not only love, but cherish and respect the women they marry, and when they’re flawed, they’re made to realize their errors and grow as people. Lots of books and movies nowadays make male interests hot assholes with little to no focus on their personalities, but Austen was a tough one to please; unlike most people, she doesn’t forgive weakness of character, especially for superficial reasons. The douchebags that others romanticize were, more realistically, the villains of her stories, and that’s something we need more of, I think.

reasons to stay alive

  • you can visit your dream cities.
  • you can create things and inspire people. Your impact will last beyond your existence.
  • there are so many books to read, games to play, and movies to fall in love with.
  • you might develop new interests that brighten your life.
  • there are beautiful people out there and friends to make. Most people will not screw you over.
  • after all of this, you will become the wisest being alive. 
  • people love you and care about you. (really)!!
  • and this time next year, even more people will love you.
  • you can learn to do absolutely anything, thanks to the internet.
  • morning always begins when the darkness ends.
  • you have the chance to turn your life around completely and pursue your dreams.
  • there is magic in everything, and you will find more and more magic as you get older.
  • long car rides with good songs!
  • concerts, events and performances which will inspire you.
  • you will realise that life can start again, over and over.
  • you will finally know how it feels to love yourself and your life.
  • you will be able to prove your sad or lonely thoughts wrong.
  • after all those numb or painful days, you will know what it’s truly like to be happy. It will be more special and meaningful to you.
Adam squatted down and lifted the mat that was decorated with flowers spelling out Welcome.  He winced as his aching body protested his current position, and he wondered briefly if he was going to be able to stand up again.  The Agency had insisted on him doing a solo mission apart from Belle, Director Thompson suspicious of their “close” connection.  It had been a drug bust in South America.  He had been called in to get a particular informant to share more information only to be sold out and taken hostage.  Thankfully the Agency had sent in back-up and retrieved him, but not before he got roughed up a little.
Belle had been working a mission in Russia and he messaged her on their private server. He gave her minimal details but that he was okay and heading home.  She just responded with, Okay, see you soon.  The key is under the mat.
It had been about six months since his cover as “Adam Walker” had been comprised and she had been brought in by the Agency.  While she still held him at arm’s length at times, there were moments when she looked at him as she did before.  He didn’t make it far into the apartment, barely removing his shoes before collapsing on the couch.  When he woke up briefly later, a blanket was covering him and he could hear Belle humming softly in the kitchen.  He smiled before falling back asleep.

It had been… difficult, at first, learning the truth. Finding out that there was a top-secret government database within her brain wasn’t even the hardest part. The hardest part was learning that, throughout their entire six month relationship, Adam had been lying to her about who he was and why he was really with her.

He insisted that things had changed from when he first took on the cover - that their relationship wasn’t just a ruse to ensure her protection anymore. That it had become real for him - that he loved her. But she found it terribly hard to believe him. How could she believe anything that a spy told her?

That being said, they still worked together. Director Thompson had insisted that, if she were willing to take on the proper training, Belle take on field missions. If she was to be the asset that Adam had promised she could be, she needed to start making herself useful. Adam, of course, hadn’t liked that - he hadn’t liked it at all. His concern for her safety reinstated a bit of her faith in him; if his feelings for her weren’t true, why would he care so much? If all that he wanted was the Intersect, he would have suggested an extraction attempt by now. He’d even fended off such suggestions for fear of what it may do to her brain.

Now, a further six months later, their relationship was in a strange state. They weren’t together, but they weren’t not together. They never used labels, but they still shared a bed whenever they had missions together. They didn’t kiss in public, unless a mission mandated it, but they didn’t not have sex when they were alone. Belle wasn’t sure what they were, but she was sure of one thing; she still cared about him.

So, when he called her while she was waiting on extraction from her op in Russia, telling her about what had happened to him in South America, she hadn’t even hesitated in telling him to go home - to her home, which she now lived in alone. She’d been relieved when Plumette decided to move in with Louie; she’d be safer there, away from Belle’s new lifestyle. 

When she unlocked the door upon arriving home and saw him lying on the couch, bruised all over and with a split lip, she’d felt her heart sink. How sideways could the mission have gone for him to come out looking like that? They didn’t call him ‘the Beast’ for nothing; he did that to other people. Not the other way around.

Crouching on the floor briefly by his head, Belle had gently carded her fingers through his messy blond hair, sighing before pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead and covering him up with the nearest blanket. He was in desperate need of a shower and a proper bed, but she didn’t want to disturb him. He likely needed rest more than anything else. So, she’d wandered down to her room to unpack before making her way to the kitchen, putting the kettle on to make a pot of tea, quietly humming to herself while she did so. It was an old Russian melody - the after-effects from her latest Flash during her solo mission, in which she’d taken on the cover of a prima ballerina.

‘it all comes crashing down’

“It’s the least I could do,” Adam replied, accepting her help with standing.  He glanced over his shoulder and noticed that his sub sandwiches were gone.  Looking back to her, he continued, “You’ve been so sweet to me since I’ve moved in; I wanted to do something nice in kind.  Unfortunately it looks like someone decided to make off with the sandwiches I bought during my act of chivalry.”
Tucking one hand into the back pocket of his jeans, he reached up to cup her chin, turning her head softly from side to side.  “Are you okay?  That was quite a spell you took.  If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay here until your room mate comes back, just so I know you’re okay.  We can make a night of it: I’ll cook and we can watch something on Netflix.”
Based on their previous encounters and her behavior towards him, he was fairly certain she was attracted to him.  Capitalizing on that attraction would only ensure more intimate interactions where he could further observe the Intersect and how it was triggered.

“You really didn’t have to do anything; I could never be anything but kind,” Belle was quick to say at his explanation of rewarding her ‘sweetness’, and her cheeks turned red just as quickly when he touched her face. The touch was incredibly gentle, and yet it still sent a faint shiver down her spine. She wasn’t used to being touched intimately, even in such a chaste manner.

Blinking rapidly at his offer to not only stay with her, but cook for her, Belle fumbled to respond in a timely fashion.

“I… It’s date night,” she stated, blushing again before clarifying, “for Plumette. Plumette and her boyfriend, Louie. They have date night every week and… this week it’s tonight. That is - I don’t think she will be home… tonight. At all. They typically sleep at his apartment.”

Taking a small step back to break herself free from the fumbling spell that his eyes seemed to cast upon her, Belle fiddled with her fingers, giving her head a small shake.

“I wouldn’t expect you to stay that long. I’m sure that I’ll be fine; I’ve just… been under a lot of stress lately. I don’t normally make a habit of fainting like that. But, ehm… if you wanted to watch a movie, I… I suppose that would be alright. So long as I wouldn’t be keeping you. I don’t want to be a nuisance, really; I’d just planned to spend the night reading.”

It didn’t matter that he’d all but stated that he’d come over with the intention of asking her on a date; he was still only planning on staying to make sure that she didn’t hurt herself. Above all else, such an idea was horribly embarrassing to Belle. She liked to come across as independent and self-sufficient; she didn’t want their attractive new neighbor to think that he had to babysit her until Plumette came home.