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like a big lump of i-cord

@yarnbrain / yarnbrain.tumblr.com

cats, complaining about stuff, cats, tv shows, cats, comic books, cats

The Arctic Fox Research Center in Iceland put cameras in some bird colonies to see if foxes were stealing eggs/chicks

and turns out the foxes were UNJUSTLY ACCUSED

the culprits were horses

HEY THIS IS BAD

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My grandfather grew up on a farm in Kansas during the Dust Bowl. He and his brother shared a horse named Patches, which they rode to school each day. Despite being poor as shit and not having quite enough to feed their animals, his family noticed that this horse looked great. His coat was unusually glossy and beautiful all of a sudden - he looked healthier than they did. 

The mystery was solved when my grandfather went into the chicken coop to collect eggs, and saw Patches lifting the window cover, pushing his muzzle underneath the hens, and eating the eggs right out of their nests. 

Horses have been known to also eat meat.

1) The BBC filmed horses eating fish on a beach of an English Island.

2) In Iceland pastured horses are provided, salted fish as a protein and mineral/salt supplement.

3) Horses have been known to consume raw meat and blood willingly in Arabia, New Zealand, and United States.

4) Lord Chamberlain of Bhutan confirmed that the 40 kings horses routinely received a special meal of Tiger fat and still feed their horses beef, and yak meat.

5) There was an American gelding in 1958 that routinely hunted and killed and even consumed small birds. He also repeatedly attacked humans. He was known as “Freight Train”.

6) Lisette a French mare, killed and consumed a Russian Officer during the Napoleonic Campaign.

Horses are now literally the most terrifying shit what the f u c k

I love how that list goes “fish, fish, opportunistic and pre-prepared meat, small birds, A WHOLE RUSSIAN OFFICER”

There are actually very few one hundred percent herbivores in nature. Even deer have been observed gnawing on scavenged bones, and cows have been documented eating small animals. A one hundred percent plant matter diet is almost always lacking in at least one vital nutrient or another, so even if it’s not part of the primary diet an herbivore will take the opportunity to supplement their diet with whatever protein, iron, calcium, taurine, et cetera source they can find.

funniest things that happened in The Diplomat

  • hal, incensed by the procedural policy that the title of ambassador is not conferred until one physically assumes the post and receives the credentialed invitation, begins to handwrite "ambassador" before kate's name on her business cards by hand
  • is so bad at writing things by hand that it reads as "ambulance"
  • kate not being able to catch a clue if it smacked her in the face
  • kate eating hal's discarded breakfast like a trash racoon
  • kate beating the shit out of hal with her shoes on the lawn of winfield house in plain view of her secret service detail and likely the american president and/or the british prime minister should basically anyone at all casually glance out the window
  • said secret service detail watching from the balcony with binoculars rather than intervene because "we protect her, not him"
  • kate constantly walking around barefoot to the utter dismay of her staff
  • kate meeting the american president looking like she rolled around in the dirt because she quite literally rolled around in the dirt
  • kate and austin giggling over the violent death of a man
  • kate sincerely believing that gloria steinem was dead and being sincerely shocked by the truth
  • kate and hal stealing food from the prime minister's pantry
  • the prime minister catching them after having gone to the pantry to steal food himself
  • the american president ordering coffee during his private dinner with the british prime minister because he wanted to prove how quickly secret service will leap to save his life since his doctor forbade him to drink coffee ever again
  • how quickly secret service leaped to save the american president's life from coffee
  • billie's entire shtick
  • eidra and stuart's entire shtick
  • hal getting high as fuck every chance he gets
  • hal being told he doesn't have access to a private car so he decides to go for a walk to deliberately nearly get his by a car because he conveniently forgot which side of the road british cars drive and thus commandeering a personal police escort
  • nobody understanding kate's chicken scratch
  • austin and kate's entire shtick
  • eidra's hatred of surprises
  • hal being literally unable to get it up for anyone except his wife
  • hal trying to set kate up with austin
  • kate being unable to compliment a man like the feminist icon she is
  • stuart being the only person who still believes in true love
  • hal's entire kidnapping plot and the fact that no one was very concerned
  • the fact that hal wasn't even concerned
  • the fact that hal has been kidnapped several times
  • eidra being unable to compliment a man like the feminist icon she is
  • the russian ambassador's entire shtick

oh gee discord should I try adding numbers? should I try that???? should I try adding numbers to the end of my username so that it's individualized and only mine???? should I try adding numbers??????????

Femme Fatale Checklist

Sexy 

Confident

Worldly

Shoots when you least expect it

Strategic clothes ripping

Uses a whip as a weapon

IN CONCLUSION

Indiana Jones is a femme fatale.

Stand aside himbos, himme fatale just dropped

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Yesterday’s t-shirt of the day award goes to the woman in a burgundy t-shirt, lettered in the style of a state college name, but the name of the school was “Fugue State.”

rip to you guys but i love assembling ikea furniture its so fun its like legos

people complain about how confusing assembling ikea furniture is and meanwhile i rise above their understanding and exist beyond their pitiful mortal comprehension as i spend a wonderful day assembling two twin beds with nothing but two hex keys, hope, and a whole lot of screws. 10/10 experience would do again

Every James Bond movie is like

M:  “We did a good job stopping the Russians from doing [thing the United States literally did in real life], but now some bad guys have got their hands on a laser beam that’ll blow your dick clean off.  You gotta stop ‘em before they de-dick the entire world in like 5 minutes.”

James Bond:  “Well that sounds … ridiculous.”

***

Moneypenny:  “James Bond, you must have sex with me.”

James Bond:  “Oh, alright.”

M:  “James Bond please do not have sex with my secretary in front of my door I am begging you for this”

***

James Bond, in the center of town, through a megaphone:  “HEY!  IT’S ME, THE JAMESBOND SECRET AGENT MAN!  I AM HERE TO DO SECRET SPY THINGS BUT I’M ASPOSED TO BE UNDERCOVER SO DON’T TELL NOBODY!”

***

Girl:  “Hello, my name is Sexy Bigtits and I am definitely not evil.”

James Bond:  “That is a very suggestive name.  You should make sex with me.”

Girl:  “No.”

James Bond:  “… pwease? 🥺“

Girl:  “Oh, alright.”  [Time passes]  “So I actually was evil but your dick turned me good.  Now I will die.”

***

Mr. Bad:  “Now, James Bond, I will demonstrate my laser beam that blows your dick clean off by using it to blow your dick clean off.”

James Bond:  “Actually you will not because at the beginning of the movie I picked up a Chekhov’s Gizmo that is perfect for protecting my dick from this exact specific situation”

Mr. Bad:  “Aw, beans.”

****

[credits]