gritty both capturing the zeitgeist as usual AND educating me on the availability of free flow butter at american cinemas
A horse that, if even mildly inconvenienced, violently explodes, leaving only 4 smoking hooves behind. It’s respawns from its hooves whenever you look away.
hate to say it but the key to having things solved by big company customer service is you just gotta stretch the truth with them. or straight up lie. actually. was on the phone for 3 hours because they sent something to the wrong address and spoke to 10 different departments trying to figure out if anyone could go fucking get it and they're like "uhhh but can you go get it" bitch I'm 8 hours away by car, I don't live in the house where you sent it.
took a moment to think, called back and was just like. Hi. My package was stolen off the porch!!! Saw the cunt steal it myself!! Anyway can you please send new things to this other address for free since that's your policy for stolen goods thank you~☆ ! and it was immediately solved.
actually my tags are too good not to include
follow me for more customer service tips and tricks
THIS is how it's done!!!
CHEERS TO GUY WALTON FOR “OUTING” THE FOSSIL FUEL COMPANIES
From the article:
Walton has devised his own criteria for named heatwaves in the US, based on duration and extremity, on a one to five scale similar to hurricanes. Heatwave Chevron is classed as a four and is “historic”, Walton said. The meteorologist said he has a list of 20 oil and gas companies – including Exxon and Shell – for upcoming heatwaves and will turn to coal companies if he runs out of names.
OUTSTANDING MOVE
Y'all know what to do. Use Walton's naming system. Make it catch on.
there should be a sport called ant bucket where you pour buckets of ants on eachother
are yolu mad at me
I’m sonic the hedgehog
"‘mech pilots are horny because they get sweaty and fuck after the fights’ you pedestrian, mech pilots are horny because the neural feedback loop from striking an acquired target w/ +90% accuracy on a full flight of LRMs makes most pilots leak in their seat. It’s not about two pilots, separated by mountains of metal, learning to mutually respect the others skill it’s about how these industrial war machines have direct lines into their nervous systems and an oxytocin & dopamine tap directly linking destruction to pleasure."
-twitter user nyetalia
yeah sure i'll permanently attach that addition to this image
It’s *so* true.
Nervously, I pull from the tarot deck. It's the Nine of Clocks. My fate is revealed to me: It's my bedtime, and I gotta go to sleeps
