maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them
starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homeware are any of you actually lost
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit
I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."
Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."
the demon i am on a first date with: i should apologize ahead of time. see my horns are so huge and majestic that i cannot put a shirt on. i am cursed to never have a shirt on so you can always see my (large) torso. i understand that might be rude me: dang. i am sorry for your situation. we will just have to try make the best of it
what’s good about this is that our demon here COULD wear a button down, but this has clearly never occurred to them which indicates that they’re a himbo too
Me, staring at shirtless himbo demon and taking off my own shirt: oh my god, you’re so fucking stupid
was this post made by monster fuckers or
yes it was
I was on the subway today, and when the train got delayed, this little kid was like, “fuck,” and a literal chorus of grown-ups went: “HEY.”
theredkrayola
let him say fuck
I was at a crossing once and a kid’s dad said ‘and we have to wait for the green man’ and the 30 people on this crossing all stood waiting for the green man just to prove to this kid that that’s what you do. I’ve never seen anyone wait for the green man on this crossing before you just go when its clear. But Everyone Waited.
Corollary to “it takes a village” is that you’re gonna get a village whether you ask for it or not.
please for the love of god read the rest it’s hilarious
There is an old belief in Serbian villages and small towns that certain pumpkins (and watermelons), when left outside during a full moon, will turn in to a vampire.
Happy Halloween, everyone!
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Of Hurin and Huor and their coming to Gondolin Personal take of Gondolin (3/??)
Characters Bruce Wayne Would 1000% Robinize TM
- Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender: 10/10 parkour skills, amazing tragic backstory and the right hair color.
- Wolf from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts: 11/10 parkour skills, FANTASTIC backstory and the right hair color.
- Hunter from The Owl House: Pretty good acrobatic skills, fantastic tragic backstory + a mystery about who he really is and a guy without powers surrounded by those that do. Unfortunately has the wrong hair color, but so does Stephanie.
- Bow from She Ra Princess of Power: All of his close friends have superpowers except for him, friendly guy everyone loves, right hair color.
- Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet: Quick and creative thinker, good tragic backstory with daddy issues and into extreme sports. Wrong hair color, but he's otherwise perfect.
Feel free to reblog with additions!
Someone get me an alt dc universe with these robins coexisting together as batman sidekicks.
