if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Ladies real talk
boys like it when youre playfully mean to them. call them names. punch them on the shoulder. murder their families
idk what’s more of a turn off: when girls wear beanies or when they tie their hair up with a bandana like a maid
idk what’s more of a turn off: when guys think their personal preference should dictate a female’s choice of clothing or when they act like we should care
Moment of bravery at the vet
THIS LITTLE MUNCHKIN OH LORDD
The Notebook (via ohteenscanrelate)
My friend saw on Animal Planet that Golden Retriever’s mouths are so soft they can carry eggs without breaking them, so she tested it.
I am tearing up
Fox on our fence by Hatchibombotar
Remember Benjamin Button? This is him now. Feel old yet?


