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So hail Satan and have a lovely afternoon, madam

@xzombiexkittenx / xzombiexkittenx.tumblr.com

Beta reading in fandom will benefit from this conversation as well. Are you looking for story input/suggestions and my ideas or are you wanting someone to refine what you’ve already written?

As well as lots of creative partnerships, but that’s the one I’ve dealt with.

Title: No Quality in Things Themselves Rating: E Pairing: Ed/Stede  Fandom: OFMD Characters: Ed, Stede, crew of the revenge

Tags: post S1 reunion, historical beauty standards, Stede is a hottie by the standards of the time, Ed is not, internalised racist beauty standards, insults with racist undertones, people say rude shit to Ed is the point, Ed's no good very bad self esteem, Stede's no good very bad self esteem, suicidal ideation, bottom Ed, praise kink, slightly different praise kink, Izzy Hands is Sir Not Appearing in this Story, my porn-fu has been broken for over two years, writing this was an agony Summary: Ed was very aware of what he looked like. He'd cultivated it. The ugliness, that is.

I think the most unintentionally pretentious part of me is I genuinely forget that most people do not have a near-encyclopedic knowledge of mythology and folklore. I literally just assume most people know at least the name of every Greek god. My mom and I were watching the Banshees of Inisherin and at the start, she asked "Do you know what a banshee is?" and I was so stunned because it would never occur to me to ask that question because I would never assume the average person doesn't know what a banshee is. The average person knows what a banshee is right. You know what a banshee is right. You know the names of the greek gods right. You know that norse myth where loki fucked the horse right. Right. RIGHT

my favorite thing in the world is reading a completed fic and the author’s note on the first chapter saying “i think this’ll be like 3 chapters!”

but i already know that it’s thirteen chapters

somewhere along the way, this poor author lost control of their life and the rest of us have benefitted immensely

June the 3rd. An excellent day. Raided a commercial vessel after overwhelming the hardy crew. We claimed a prize of lush vegetation in conquest.

They will never forget the eccentric pirate Bonnet and his savage, insane, vengeful pirate horde.

DIRECTOR: Hey Tom Hardy here is some weird shit we're gonna put on your face to hide your beautiful little kissy lips pretty boy mouth

TOM HARDY, ENTIRELY NOT LISTENING BECAUSE HE'S BUSY FORMULATING AN ACCENT NO HUMAN BEING ON EARTH HAS EVER FUCKING HAD: Sure boss

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As a bisexual person I'm keenly aware of how such stereotypes are inevitably harmful to us, but unfortunately when I see bisexuals in fiction who are Evil and stylish and fuck like champions I can't help but go "oh work" for a sec. It's a difficult conundrum

A problem I have when reading romance novels is I cannot empathize with disliking someone but finding them attractive regardless. If I dislike someone I’m like “You are like a wadded up ball of sweaty socks and I want you to burn in a pyre, undying and screaming for days”

“He infuriated her, though she was willing to admit he was a handsome man” I couldn’t begin to tell you what the people I dislike look like because I see red instantly. If you were like “Is he the blond one” I’d be like “idk he’s the one who most looks like he should die”

im gonna get a huge wolf-like husky and give it a name like James or David or Sandra or something. Something really human sounding. And convince everyone who comes to my house that theyre just my friend who was cursed with lycanthropy.

I’m gonna renovate my guest bedroom so it looks really lived in. It’s got posters for like. Wolves and stuff on the walls. And a to do list that has stuff like “pay rent” “turn into dog” and I’m gonna put some scratch marks on the walls and the bed and a chain on the heater. And I’m gonna train the dog to sleep there so it really pulls off the whole effect. This is a really long con plan.

I discussed this idea with a classmate of mine and they pointed out that when i was looking for a room mate and said “you need to be out of the house every full moon and be okay with large dogs” they would surely assume that I was the werewolf in this mix and really this is just the beginning of my life as a weird tv sitcom.

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It would be a great cover for your perspective roommate, an actual werewolf

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Kristian Nairn said in a live or a panel or smth that he is incredibly allergic to cats, which mean they could never have a cat on set, right?

But i would really love it if they got a ship cat that was just so incredibly obviously not an actual cat. Idc how they do it. It can be a stuffed animal cat that is very obviously not a living cat but everyone treats it as if it was

Or it could be an entirely different animal that everyone stubbornly insists is a cat

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izzy: what the fuck is that

the swede, holding a ferret: a cat :)

izzy: that’s not a cat

frenchie, deliberately giving the ferret a wide berth: i know a cat when i see one babe. careful it doesn’t eat you

izzy: edward are you aware that there’s a ferret on the ship

ed: what? where? i don’t want a ferret on the ship

izzy: that thing

ed: oh that’s fine that’s just a cat

murder family headcanon that Abigail pulls her fathers into the worst debates to exist. one second it's a peaceful dinner, the next Hannibal is being held at knifepoint because he argued that water is not wet because something being wet implies being covered with water and if you cover water with water you simply get more water. Will is screaming.

Abigail: who would win, a bunch of marines or a stick?

Will: ...marines.

Abigail: you sure?

Will: they just break the stick, Abigail.

Hannibal: and then there are two sticks. quite the conundrum.

Will: [rubbing his face] wait...okay, so is this about who would win in a fight or who outlasts the other?

Abigail: [shrugs]

Will: you have to specify.

Abigail: why?

Will: because if breaking it doesn't make the marines win, then it has to be about who outlasts who.

Hannibal: which is the goal of the stick?

Will: what, you wanna know about the stick's aspirations?

Hannibal: i was merely trying to engage with Abigail's question, Will, there is no need to get upset.

Will: i'm about to engage my fork with your throat