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‘Last night was a disaster!’ Sasuke growled as he was waiting in the waiting room for Naruto to finish his other session. He had to admit, it was his own fault for acting that way without thinking about consequences. He should have known better…he couldn’t stop thinking about it.

When he left Naruto at coffee shop he went straight home. Luckily he didn’t have any shooting that week, he didn’t know what he’d do if he had to go to work at the moment. He sat on his bed and tried to think more clearly about what just happened that day. He saw Naruto after years of staying away from him, it was strange because it seemed like they were back to the times they kept fighting at the school because they didn’t know how else to get each others acknowledgment. Even though it was annoying as hell he still smiled at the memories, Naruto was still the same, it was still fun to talk to him like that and he was still so easy to read.

Sasuke was annoyed at himself for forgetting about what was appropriate for them to do and what wasn’t. What was he trying to prove by acting that way anyway? He had to stop touching Naruto in those ways, it wasn’t right even if he only did it to clean his face…not that it was his only reason. It was really tempting to touch him in those familiar and loving ways, he missed the effects those touches had on him. He wanted to slap himself for talking like that to Kiba in front of Naruto. He felt guilty for it, it was like he was playing with Kiba’s feelings for his own selfish reasons and he also felt devastated because of that look he saw on Naruto’s face.

He could read that expression better than ever. In those eyes he could see anger, jealousy, sadness,regret and strangely even …pride! He didn’t like seeing Naruto showing any of those emotions. It hurt to see him hurt like that, specially since he know he was the one who unnecessarily caused him those pains. After all those years, after all that happened, how could he still feel this way about him? He didn’t miss the last smile Naruto offered him either. That smile was still the same beautiful and happy smile that could brighten his day and make him happy…but it wasn’t suppose to effect him that way anymore.

‘Maybe I really should go to Kiba’s place. I owe him that much because of the phone call. Then I can either convince him to let me go or if things get heated, at least I can get rid of some of these frustrations.’ He started getting dressed with that thought on his mind and before he knew it, he was walking inside that place. Sasuke still couldn’t stop thinking about his meeting with Naruto, even Kiba commented that he looked distracted. They talked and argued as usual, Sasuke wanted him to understand that their relationship wouldn’t work out but Kiba was too stubborn to agree. Eventually they made a deal, either Kiba had to change Sasuke’s mind that night or he had to let him go if after that night Sasuke still thought they shouldn’t keep seeing each other.

Kiba tried, Sasuke had to admit that the date was really impressive but the real disaster started when Kiba started kissing him and leading him toward his bedroom. He was still too distracted by Naruto, it was taking away his concentration. He didn’t want to be there and be touched by him but he had to do that because he had to prove himself that he could still do it. He had to prove that he didn’t want to be with Naruto anymore. He needed to do that, he couldn’t let a simple meeting prevent him from being that close to someone else but he knew he was already losing that battle. He finally gave up to those thoughts and closed his eyes. It wasn’t hard to imagine being in his ex fiance’s hold instead of the man in his presence. Every touch, kiss and act started filling his soul with a pleasant need which was burning him from inside. It was going very good until he forgot about his reality and let his imagination take control of his action. He let out a broken moan that sounded too much like his ex fiance’s name and that’s when everything stopped. He opened his eyes and when he saw Kiba’s sad and shocked eyes instead of Naruto’s beautiful blue eyes in front of his own eyes, he realized how much he really fucked up.

He could hardly sleep that night and the next day all he could think about was his appointment with Naruto and everything that happened last night. He knew he looked awful with those dark rings around his eyes but he didn’t really care, he needed some relaxation. He snapped out of his thoughts when a woman called his name from the waiting room and told him he could finally enter Naruto’s massaging room. He took a deep breath to calm himself and opened the door to enter. The first thing that caught his eyes was the blond figure who was sitting on a chair in the room. He looked around the room before sitting down on another chair in front of him.

He felt a bit strange to be there after what happened last night but he knew that he actually needed that massage more than ever at the moment. He couldn’t help sighing as he looked down, not knowing what to say or what to do in that situation. He hoped Naruto could say something that could break the awkward tension between them or he would actually think about leaving.

Arriving to work the next day, Naruto had mixed feelings about it. Excitement and nervousness tingled through him at the same time, and last night sleep had not come easy to him. Neji had texted him an hour or so after he had gotten back home, wondering if they could meet up for a date, and Naruto could read the promise and unspoken words of ‘something more’ written in between the lines. Any other night Naruto would have grinned from seeing the text message and jumped at the chance of jumping Neji.

But…being with Neji right now, after everything that had happened today, wouldn’t be fair to him. Naruto knew his attention would be swaying back towards Sasuke the entire night, and Neji didn’t deserve to be treated as some second choice (even though Naruto knew deep down, that was what he was treating Neji as from the start.) So he texted back that he wasn’t feeling so good and wouldn’t be in the mood for anything other than sleeping. Well, it was partly true. His brain was so freaking confused right now, he just wanted to rest. Neji of course understood, wished that Naruto would feel better soon. And that was that.

Dropping his phone on his night stand, he fell into bed and one word was on his mind: Sasuke. He closed his eyes, and remembered that right now Sasuke was probably with Kiba. A sharp pain twisted his chest and he ignored it, turning over in bed. Who was he to be jealous? God, he was lucky Sasuke was actually open to meeting up again. He didn’t know what he would have done if Sasuke had come to hate him after everything he had done.

If nothing else, Naruto just wanted them to go back to being the friends they had been before lovers. Sasuke was still his best friend, that was something that would never change. There was still some unresolved tension between the two of them, but they could overcome that. Naruto would make sure they would. If he could be involved in Sasuke’s life again, as friends are, nothing would make him happier. He fell asleep with Sasuke’s smile, Sasuke smiling at him, imprinted in his mind.

Stepping inside his cube of relaxation (yeah that’s what he called his massage room, what’s wrong with that?!) He took off his coat and set down his backpack and his sessions for the day began. When finally the time came for Sasuke’s massage, Naruto felt his palms start to sweat. Ugh, not good. Sitting down in his chair, his gaze switched to the door as it swung open.

“Hey, Sasuke, good-Whoa, someone looks tired,” Naruto commented as his old lover walked in the room. He took in Sasuke’s rather dishevelled appearance as he sat down as well, and just barely stopping himself from reaching out his hand to touch Sasuke’s face, instead gesturing to his own, “Lucky bastard, guess I was wrong about Kiba huh?” He joked mildly, a light smile on his face even though inside he felt like scowling. Dammit! He had underestimated that Kiba guy…but then again, Sasuke did have a good taste in lovers.

But then he heard Sasuke’s sigh, and noticed his lack of energy compared to yesterday. Drawing his eyebrows together, he felt concern for the man sitting opposite him, and he knew that he would try and make Sasuke forget whatever had him feeling like this. He would make him feel good.

“So, guess we better get started. If you can just take off your shirt for me I’ll put it aside. Since I’ll be using oils, wouldn’t wanna wreck your fancy clothes. Hop up on the table lying face down when you’re ready.” He instructed, pointing to the padded and comfortable massage table as he stood and dimmed the lights in the room and went about setting up some calming nature music and lighting a few scented candles. Even though he went through this process for every client, wanting to give them the most pleasurable experience possible, he wanted it to be even more so for Sasuke. Part of it was about impressing his ex, and the other part…the other part he would rather not dwell on right now. Just like the fact that soon enough his hands would be sliding over that taut, smooth, pale skin…

“Ah, and don’t worry if you end up falling asleep either. It happens to a lot of clients, and it’s totally fine. Just means your body is in relaxation, it happens to my clients a lot actually,” He added, his back turned as he washed his hands thoroughly and dried them properly at the small sink. Yes, Naruto was boasting. And was he enjoying it? Oh yeah, he so was.

Sasuke was glad when Naruto started giving him instructions, he didn’t want to think about what to do at all. He nodded softly before taking off his clothing. It didn’t feel strange or uncomfortable at all. a part of him still could trust him enough to take them off in front of him. Naruto seemed stressed since he wasn’t even paying attention that he had to give Sasuke some privacy but it just brought a very small smile on Sasuke’s face. He watched as Naruto started getting everything ready and  his heart almost stopped when the music began to play. He wasn’t sure if it was on purpose or not but that music…He could recognize that soft music anywhere. Naruto never liked Sasuke’s taste in music. Unlike Naruto he liked slow and relaxing classical musics. He used to listen to that same music very night before sleep because it made him feel relaxed. He stopped doing that after the break up but listening to it after years was making him feel kind of happy but miserable at the same time.  

He went straight toward the table and did as he was asked. He took another deep breath and closed his eyes to listen to the music. He shivered as a warm hand touched his skin. He could swear that he felt the whole world just stopped existing at that very second. Only he knew how much he missed those touches that seemed to be doing a better job at taking away his fears and thought that day. He had to admit, Naruto was right. He really was very good at what he was doing. Sasuke was already beginning to feel light headed. He was feeling a strange kind of pride over seeing his fia-…No, Ex-fiance using his magical hands to make him feel more and more amazing. Did he really deserve to be touched by those hands after what happened yesterday? He remembered what Naruto said about Kiba as he entered the room and a flash of Naruto’s hurt expression from the previous day filled his mind. It got worse when the music made him remember the days when he had the ability to wipe all those hurt expressions away from Naruto’s face just by a simple kiss or embrace…He missed those days. 

Gosh, what was wrong with him? He never felt like this. He never felt this vulnerable but at the same time safe before. Everything was effecting him and for the first time in years, he was beaming  to express all the emotions he was feeling out loud. Was it really normal to get this emotional in the middle of a session? He tensed as he remembered that hurt expression again…He wanted to tear it apart from that gorges face.

“I broke up with Kiba last night…Things didn’t go as planned.” Was it really his voice? Why was he sounding so pathetic? Hopefully Naruto wouldn’t realize how his voice just cracked. It was so unlike him to say it but he couldn’t give a single fuck about what was normal to say or what wasn’t at the moment, not when he was with him, not when he could enjoy Naruto’s touch and presence again. 

Rubbing some coconut oil onto his hands until they were warm, he moved over closer to the table where Sasuke was currently lying on his stomach, shirtless. For a few seconds Naruto was entranced by the way his ex’s back muscles moved, and he quickly closed his mouth to check whether or not he was drooling…Nope. ‘Phew, I’m not as uncontrolled as I thought. Pfft, this will be fine, why was I even worried?’

Those very words were proved useless the moment he pressed a hand to Sasuke’s back and he felt…it. That undeniable shiver that ran through Sasuke’s body at his touch. Naruto swallowed tightly past the lump that had formed in his throat. Okay…so maybe this wouldn’t be exactly easy…

No, it was almost like sweet torture, he thought as his hands moved across that strong back, mapping out every inch of it and he was surprised he remembered it so well. Even when they were together, Sasuke was a little uptight, but that was just who he was, the bastard. So Naruto knew what points accumulated the most pressure, and now he could ease that tension with his very own hands. He felt so…so calm, serene almost. Like it was just the two of them together again, like Sasuke wasn’t just another client listed in his schedule…

His hands stopped in their travels across the gorgeous back when Sasuke spoke, his eyes slightly widening at the confession from Sasuke. He and Kiba were…over? Of all things, Naruto didn’t expect Sasuke to talk about his lover, or well, ex-lover now he supposed. He didn’t expect Sasuke to talk to him at all to be honest.

Naruto felt a flicker of hope ignite within him, and couldn’t deny the happiness he felt at hearing the news. But along with that happiness, he also felt a burst of sympathy for Sasuke. ‘So that’s the real reason he looks like he hasn’t got any sleep.’ He disguised it well, but Naruto heard the quiver in Sasuke’s voice - it must have seriously been taking its toll on him.

“Didn’t work out, huh?” He murmured, not bothering to offer any apologies since he knew Sasuke didn’t like that sort of sympathy, and besides coming from Naruto’s mouth it would sound fake. “That’s-no wonder you’re so tense,” He spoke lowly as he rubbed at a particularly tight spot near Sasuke’s shoulder blade, his skin prickling at the soft sigh that escaped his ex-fiancé’s lips.

Oh dear. Before today Naruto would have thought he had a good memory of all the sweet sounds Sasuke could make…but oh boy, his memory must have been rusty because nothing compared to the real thing. ‘Stay professional, dammit!’ He mentally scolded himself, his hands smoothing down Sasuke’s sides, massaging the pale skin with his thumbs and was proud when he could feel the muscles loosening again under his touch.

“Some people just don’t work out, even if they really want it to,” He muttered, trying not to let his voice sound husky as he dug his thumbs in around Sasuke’s hip as his fingers splayed on the firm, muscled abdomen and he began rubbing the tightness away. That earned him a barely heard moan - but Naruto heard it, and felt his hands tingle as they continued to pleasure the man beneath him, “I kinda like to think that each relationship that ends gets you closer to the person you’re meant to be with.”

‘Even if I can’t be with you, I hope you’ll find the person that truly makes you happy soon, Sasuke,’ And Naruto meant that from the bottom of his heart. Even if he sizzled in jealousy and felt a crushing sadness at the thought of someone else touching him, holding him, loving him…if he was happy, it would be enough. Naruto’s hands then slid across Sasuke’s lower back, and he began kneading the muscles with a tenderness that he always used. But Naruto knew his expression was not the same neutral one he always wore with his clients, and he was just glad that Sasuke couldn’t see him at that moment.

Sasuke sighed as Naruto’s hand worked on a sensitive part of the back of his neck. This was like heaven! How the hell did Naruto learn to..‘Oh god yes!’ He bit his lip to stop himself from moaning out loud but when Naruto pressured more on that spot he realized the moan was already out of his mouth. He let out a relieved sigh as Naruto started working on his upper back which was less sensitive than the previous spot.

He took in a shaky breath as he heard Naruto’s husky voice. Was he doing that on purpose? No…He was just imagining things right? Why was Naruto sounding so…Damn it! He was getting aroused! His eyes widened and he fisted his palms to take some control over himself. His fear got sever when Naruto’s hands began massaging his hips and then-

“Nhhha” God damn it, where did that come from? His body was losing its control. Damn Naruto and his damn fingers! His ankles started rolling around as he bit his lips again to try to gain more control.

Naruto’s hand traveled to his lower back and he felt like he was about to lose his mind.’ It was just a massage. Get a hold of yourself.’ He closed his eyes as he tried to concentrate on what Naruto was saying.

He knew Naruto was talking about their own relationship. He could even hear the bitter tone in Naruto’s voice. Was he right? Were they really closer now that they were separated? “I wonder about that…” What would happen if they wouldn’t break up? Did they really do the right thing when they broke it off? He couldn’t forget the days he desperately tried to stop himself from calling Naruto again. He remembered the nights when his heart felt so cold and empty and he didn’t know how to fill it without that blue eyed blond’s love that left his heart broken. He un-clenched his fist and took a deep breath, trying to cool down the burning sensation in his chest.

Maybe Naruto was wrong for kissing Sakura but there was always this guilt inside him that wouldn’t let go of him. Naruto made a mistake but in the end, he told the truth. He said he wanted them to be with each other and he looked broken because of his lost promise. He even tried to get in contact with him again but Sasuke just cruelly shut him out of his life…it showed that he had a concise that hated himself for doing what he did and he was obviously regretting everything but Sasuke couldn’t believe him. He was heartbroken and the only way he knew for fixing it was running away. It wasn’t like Naruto actually went all the way with her, it was just a kiss…A kiss that broke his heart more than he wanted to admit! Now they were separated. They were two different people.

Now Sasuke was more confident in himself and he had a life that he was proud of. Naruto was different too! He had moved on and he was living a different life with someone he probably loved a lot more than Sasuke…It hurt to think there was someone else in Naruto’s heart and mind…It hurt to imagine him smiling and being close to someone other than himself. Was he really happy with him? Happier than the time he was with Sasuke? At least this Neji guy didn’t need to be afraid of being cheated on because even though Naruto teased him a bit in that coffee shop, he could see it in his eyes, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. So did that really mean that Naruto loved that guy more than he’d e ever loved Sasuke? He loved him enough to be loyal to him…unlike Sasuke.

“Do you love him?” It was out of his mouth before he could stop it. He realizes Naruto stopped messaging him so he turned his head and looked at him from the corner of his eyes. He didn’t know what Naruto was thinking about but the expression which was in that blond figure was enough to make him realize how hard it was for Naruto to answer. “Do you think he’s….he’s really the one?”

Why was he even trying to find out by asking those questions? He had no idea…He just knew he had a chance to have this man but he lost it all those years ago and now he was desperate for anything that could prove it wasn’t true. He had to know…He just had to know!

That single question that fell from Sasuke’s lips made him freeze. Of all things…Sasuke was being so oddly open with him. It caused a warm feeling to settle in his chest as he thought how Sasuke was basically throwing his feelings out for Naruto to see. ‘I can’t remember the last time I ever heard him sounding so vulnerable and honest.’ And those eyes suddenly looked at him, and Naruto felt his breath catch. Dammit. Getting trapped in Sasuke’s eyes was like going into a maze…once he got in it was so hard to get out.

“I care about Neji,” He said firstly, making his hands move again once more down Sasuke’s back, breaking the gaze and focusing on the flawless skin beneath him. “It’s not like we’ve made any declarations or confessions to each other either though, y'know.”

After their sudden split, Naruto had been pretty messed up. He tried resisting for as long as he could from contacting Sasuke. He knew that he definitely didn’t want to hear from his cheater ex-fiancé, and it had only been a month before Naruto couldn’t take it anymore and tried to contact Sasuke. The separation had been killing him, it just felt so…incomplete. Like there was so much left unsaid, and things were left so raw between them. Naruto had wanted to bridge the gap he had created. He felt an utmost need to apologise to Sasuke, over and over, to let him know just how much he regretted it. Sasuke hurting all because of him…it was an unbearable pain to live with.

Of course Sasuke had changed his mobile number. Because why would he want the guy who he was supposed to trust more than anyone else and shattered that promise to find him again? Naruto still remembered the numbness he felt listening to that disconnected dial tone. How he had drowned his sorrows in alcohol many dark, lonely nights. How he would keep trying to call Sasuke, screaming in frustration and tears smearing across his face and the sleeplessness…

It had taken just under a year for him to pull himself together, let Sasuke go, and start again. He moved to another apartment. Dated a nice girl who he broke up with three months later, and then later along the line dated a guy who he broke up with after only a month. And now here he was with Neji, the two of them four and a half months strong. Together.

“He’s not…he’s not a replacement, Sasuke.” His voice had turned soft, almost a whisper as he lifted his hands away, rubbed in some more oil, and then began tackling the tight bunches of muscles on Sasuke’s upper arms. He had to bite his lips. Sasuke had the perfect physique. Lean, tall, and firm; but his muscles weren’t too big. But they were large enough to retain his masculinity and distinguished elegance he always carried himself with. 'Fuck, I’m starting to lose it.’

Yes, he was starting to slip on his professionalism, but he didn’t care. At this moment, all that mattered was Sasuke, that he was here, that he was letting Naruto touch him again.

“Neji is a nice guy. Sophisticated, classy, smart…sorta like you. Drop dead gorgeous and much too good for me,” He smiled sardonically, thinking that actually Neji and Sasuke were very similar. Skimming his fingertips across the backs of those pale, gorgeous thighs; he then started rolling his hands over the flesh, intent on making every part of Sasuke feel good.“Whether he likes it or not, he’s gonna soar higher than I ever will.”

Naruto hadn’t ever really thought his relationship with Neji was 'true love’ material. It was a seasonal love, one that wouldn’t last forever, but one that he would never forget.

“And well, I’ve never wanted to marry anybody else. So, that has to tell you something,” He added in quietly, his hands desiring to massage that perfectly curved ass. Holding his breath, he had to close his eyes as he continued moving down Sasuke’s legs. Those sinful sounds kept dripping from Sasuke’s lips and he craved to hear more, to lean over his past lover and just let their bodies press together like they used to. Even though he that he shouldn’t be behaving like this, he shouldn’t be…'Why is it so hard? Why do you have to make it so hard, Sasuke?’

Sasuke’s heart suddenly skipped a beat and his eyes widened when Naruto said that there was no serious commitment or promise between him and Neji. What was he saying? 'Did he just admit that he doesn’t love Neji?’ He turned his head again and closed his eyes, his heart was beating faster than before and a sudden warmth embraced his whole body. The warmth was relaxing and made him feel safe. It felt like being accepted and wanted, it was just like the sensation he used to feel in his childhood years when he would cover himself and itachi at nights while his brother would read him bedtime stories and stay with him until he could fall sleep. It was really similar to that warmth he used to feel beneath that cover and in his brothers hold. He felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest but at the same time, he’d never felt that relaxed before. 'What are you doing to me usuratonkachi?’

He took a deep breath and tried to relax as Naruto kept pleasuring his body with his talented fingers. Naruto was still talking about that guy. Sasuke couldn’t even feel jealous about him anymore. He had already heard what Naruto thought of that Neji guy and when he looked at his blue eyes, he could easily read what was behind his confused expression, he didn’t love Neji the way he loved Sasuke.He only loved Sasuke in that way…But loved not love! If only it wasn’t all from the past…but he could still feel something between them. He couldn’t believe Naruto would still love him after everything that happened but he could still feel some strong emotions inside his ex fiance, and even himself. Why would he date a similar partner to Sasuke if he didn’t like Sasuke anymore? A small part of himself reminded him of Kiba and his similarities with Naruto. Did that really mean that they both still… ?

“You tell me he’s not a replacement but the way you describe him sounds like he’s my long lost twin. Why would you choose someone this similar to me Naruto?” He asked before biting his lip. He realised another soft gasp when Naruto began massaging his legs which were too close to his crotch. Oh God, he was already half hard and he didn’t even know how to stop making those small noises he was making. He was losing it.

Nothing mattered at the moment, only those touches and the owner of those warm hands mattered. He suddenly started responding to the touches unconsciously by slowly lifting his hips and then lowering it and slowly grinding his arousal on the table beneath him. He wasn’t even thinking about what he was doing.

Shouldn’t he be ashamed of doing this in front of Naruto while they weren’t together anymore? Why weren’t they together again? He couldn’t remember why he was trying so hard to hold back before. Why were they fighting with each other in the first place? Sasuke couldn’t remember anything. He’d already forgot all about their separation and Naruto’s new boy friend. His mind was empty from all his memories and filled by nothing but desire for the owner of those hands on his hips. It was like he was high but he couldn’t remember taking any drugs. Maybe he was just high on the love and desire Naruto was making him feel. His eyes were still closed and his lips slightly got parted. He noticed how Naruto’s hands stopped massaging his back. He couldn’t even stop moving and grinding his crotch on that damn table. He sped up his movement and rolled his hips with more pressure as he turned his head to look at Naruto again. He didn’t even know how flushed and erotic he was but the way Naruto was looking at him just set him on fire. “Nnaru..tohhhh.” He moaned louder before closing his eyes again. He’s face was still exposed for Naruto’s eyes and the think of Naruto seeing him in that venerable and flushed state sent shivers down his spin. He wanted him to touch him again,not just those small touches, he wanted needed to he covered by that gorgeous figure and kiss his soft looking lips again. He really wanted him, needed him. 'Do soahh…something.“

This fanfic made me cry at the most part. This is not mine so I give all credit to narusasunaruheadcanons and sasrain0