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I am a stupid doodoo head and I SHIT myself at my local theater’s showing of Strays.

If the mane 6 were evil they'd be named Pinkie DIE and DIElight sparkle and flutterDIE and rainbow DIE and rariDIE and Applejeffthekiller

made me freaking 6'2" my stomach

any1 got the hook up?

I miss them so much every fucking day it isn’t fair they’re gone. RIP dionsauirs I miss you so much I’m fucking crying. We could have been friends and I could have used the long neck as a slide. IT ISNT FAIR

3ds hungry feed it ten million pirated games

ah fuck i'm sorry i really thought the saying was "piss like a racist horse"

Interesting- if you spell "bong" backwards, you get the word "poop." Science can really be incredible.

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you because he wants to fuck the car. He wants to fuck the car so bad. He can't stop thinking about wanting to fuck the car.

I officially apologize to @xxxcoolguyxxx who is actually my friend Fi. Not my archnemesis. But the position is open for any applicants

@xxxcoolguyxxx once I figure out how to respond to comments you’re so fucking over kid. Count your fucking days. You DARE answer MY question and say it’s a trick question? WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

No but actually that was a really good guess. You didn’t like. Do the thing so you don’t win? But I didn’t mean it to be a trick question. BUT YOU LOSE. WHICH MEANS I WON.

You can’t fuck with me on MY tumblr page I control this domain. Listen to this FUCKIN song I’m about to SLAP you with. I MADE it. Bitch.

if family guy was set in the marshlands: -gator griffin -wetland brown -quagmire -bog swampson

nobody cares about the google doodle anymore. 10 - 15 years ago that was a topic of conversation "you see the google today?" "yeah i didnt know who that woman was but now i kinda do". that was probably 30% of conversations happening between two men who kinda know eachother and were both there to hang with other mutual friends but now they accidentally got left alone together for a few minutes.

one of them has his hands in his pockets and keeps gently swaying while whistling while not making eye contact now. and the other one is trying to stop thinking about how hard he just got thinking about the google doodle lady again

pussy isn’t even real i made it up as a joke and you all fell for it lol

if you're a brunette do not fucking wear jeans and im not kidding

so help me god if you're a nurse and you have dimples

yeah I'm a fag. what about it . shows you a little boucy ball from my pocket with a giant bite taken out of it. now scram. ass hole

i thiunk thats called a hospital 🏥

can we pretend this whole website is r/hotdogs for a copuple minutes

i could really use a wish right now