xxnatallyrmxx-blog-blog reblogged
frail-cat
I’m not here to tell you it gets better
I’m not here for the same speech you’ll hear
over and over and over
until it’s burned in your mind
the bible of those who pretend to care
the scripture memorized and repeated
by every person who pretends to understand.
I’m here to tell you it gets worse.
I’m here to tell you this is a slippery slope.
Won’t be long until your well acquainted with the porcelain tiles
on your bathroom floor.
Face down and wondering if the little splotches you see
are your dripping blood
or a result of vision loss from the tortures you’re putting your body through.
Its spent years building you into the beautiful
human being you are
and look at you now, trying to burn it
to the ground.
I’m here to tell you you aren’t strong enough to resist.
One minute it’s just skipping breakfast but
fast forward
it’s the carnival ride from hell.
A merry-go-round that you can’t get off
going faster and faster and faster
and faster and faster
and faster
and nothing.
There’s a tube down your throat
and your parents are crying.
You wish you were nothing.
I’m here to tell you this only gets worse.
Close your eyes but you won’t rest.
Awake,
asleep,
it doesn’t matter
you’re always in hell.
Demons haunt you
People haunt you
Doctors haunt you
And the voices in your head don’t just go away
They’re hell bent on
ruining you and
it won’t stop.
I’m here to tell you you can’t fix this.
Happiness will evade you
Joy is a foreign concept
No matter what pleasures life may drop at your door
You still feel numb // blank // alone // dead.
You’re trapped in your mind
No exits
No way out
You’re in this for the long haul.
I am here to tell you it doesn’t get better.
You’ll fall down the rabbit hole and lose yourself
entirely
before you realize it’s too fucking late
before you realize how stupid you’ve been.
And then
You’re done.
You’re dying.
You’re dead.
Gone.
Alone.
6ft under.
The end.
I’m here to tell you to get help.
I’m here to tell you that you can’t make it better
on your own
I’m here to tell you that waiting
is the worst thing you can do
I’m here to tell you cancer is kinder
than some mental illness
and has a higher survival rate.
Catching this soon is key
and you aren’t strong enough
to do this by yourself.
I’m here to beg you,
Ask you,
Plead with you,
Don’t turn into me.
Don’t turn into another statistic.
Don’t ruin your life because you aren’t “sick enough for help”
Don’t let your life slip away from you.
Live
Love
Laugh
Nourish
Heal
I’m here to remind you that life is possible
Recovery is possible
And you are deserving
And you are so beautiful
So please,
Don’t tear yourself to the ground.
I’m here to tell you I regret it all (emf)
