When you met your significant other, they told you you could lie to them 1000 times. You’re on lie 999.

"No, no I didn't download this song off Youtube." "Uh, yeah."

kissy sentence starters.

“ is it bad i really want to kiss you right now? ” “ do me a favor, kiss my ass. ” “ they can all just kiss my ass. ” “ i kissed someone today. ” “ i kissed a girl/boy and i liked it. ” “ kissing burns calories you know. ” “ my lips really want to meet yours. ” “ so are we going to kiss or not? ” “ i sent you a bunch of kiss emojis. ” “ don’t talk, just kiss me. ” “ i really enjoyed our kiss last night. ” “ you make me want to kiss you. ” “ you owe me a kiss. ” “ pucker up. ” “ read my lips, no. ” “ your eyes say no but your lips say yes. ” “ i just want to kiss you. ” “ i miss your lips. ” “ give me a kiss. ” “ blow a kiss my way for good luck. ” “ ever kiss in the rain? ” “ ever kiss under water? ” “ it was just a kiss, that’s all. ” “ a kiss doesn’t mean anything. ” “ i love when our lips meet. ” “ where do you want me to kiss you? ” “ i want to either kiss you or kill you right now. ” “ did you really just kiss him/her? ” “ friends aren’t allowed to kiss one another. ” “ kiss me one more time. ” “ want to make out? ” “ you’re a terrible kisser. ” “ teach me how to kiss? ” “ i remember our first kiss. ” “ your lips are calling my name. ” “ let’s just kiss already. ”

Let's do a weird headcanon thing

Give me a character and I’ll tell you my headcanon for:

Interesting.....

ALRIGHT. LISTEN UP.

So recently, I got calls from the phone number, (937) 353-8319. They claim to be a job service, and one of their “employees”, Carrigan, is friends with whoever the call recipient is, and that Carrigan has recommended you for this $15.00/h “job”. I also got a text message from (937) 607-1493, claiming to be Carrigan, and that they need stuff to “win a scholarship”. I do not know anyone by the name of Carrigan and I know very well that this is a very dangerous scam. If you receive a call from a number, and they ask you if you would like a job for $15.00/h, HANG UP IMMEDIATELY. If you accept the “job” offer, and you go in for an interview, they will give you a drugged bottle of water and you will wake up somewhere you don’t want to be. These phone calls & texts are from a human trafficking service, and if you oblige to them, you will be sold to people and you will be raped, no doubt about it. So PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER THESE CALLS OR TEXTS. I have listened to the voicemails, and allowed my dad to do the same, and he learned that anyone offering a $15.00/h “job” is a human trafficker. PLEASE SIGNAL BOOST THIS ALL OVER TUMBLR

Okay, I am reblogging this because it is relevant again. I got another call from a 353 number. Not the exact same number, but I know that it is a trafficker because it’s 353 just like the last one. I also want this to signal boost so PLEASE REBLOG THIS.

Why are people deleting the captions though I had to search for what the pictures meant don’t do that

a side note,  because theyre very popular around the DMV, If you ever see a sign with something akin to ‘free debt erasure’ ‘15/h job’ etc and ONLY A PHONE NUMBER, ignore it. tear it down if you can, because those are well known scams and sex-trafficking baits.do not, by any means, call or respond to these messages. do not let your friends do it. do not.

THIS IS IMPORTANT AF THANK Y’ALL HOLY SHIT

Oklahoma is one of the worst states as far as human trafficking, so thank y’all so fucking much. That’s literally my life and the lives of everyone I know that y’all just saved. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you

Ahahaha shut it Snicket

*loads shotgun* I’m ready

Honestly, *pulls out knife* I’m not violent but sometimes you gotta make exceptions.

So true. I’m not a violent person either, but nobody shit talks Sally Jackson.

No, I got this.

Yo momma so stupid, she refused Sally Jackson’s cooking.

this is exactly why no one knows what pot of greed does.

Also why Zane lost to Camula.

Shou: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?

Manjoume: Punch him in the stomach. Then, when he doubles over in pain, kiss him.

Judai: Tackle him.

Johan: Dump him.

Asuka: Kick him in the shin.

Kenzan: NO TO ALL OF THOSE! JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN!

Jurassicshipping.

Remember me each time you hear a sad guitar know that I’m with you the only way that I can be until you’re in my arms again

I do believe I have been stabbed in the heart.

Blitzstone Wedding

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

Cryptid

Every pixel of this image is filled with a protective energy. Reblog the shadow cat cryptid for good fortune and to receive glowing eyes.

cursed image, but the curse is on your enemies

Did a bunch of dogs breakup a fight between two cats? Am I seeing this right??

Having none of that shit today.

“Ay man, y’all chill the fuck out. Y’all fucking up the party.”

I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING

Pack animals like dogs don’t tolerate dissent in their group because it weakens the pack’s social structure… There are similar clips on youtube of them breaking up rabbit and rooster fights… They don’t care what species you are, they just want you to CUT THAT SHIT OUT.

They don’t differentiate species because dogs think everything else is just a weird dog. 

ANIMAL BEHAVIOR IS FUN MAN OMG

“EVERYONE ELSE IS JUST A WEIRD DOG” This is painfully accurate

If the world was made up of dogs it’s be a lot better place.

Manjoume: In the winter I like to dress in a cozy black jacket, shirt and jeans. Manjoume: In the summer I wear the same thing because I look good in black and I’m willing to suffer.

Yes, Thomas SANDERS! WOO!

Best Cat Tweets Of 2016

Via Bored Panda

Always reblog this.

This is one of the most evil puzzles I’ve ever seen

this is a millennium item

… . The Millennium PUZZLE perhaps

Dear Ra.

percy jackson except its narrated by the disney muses from hercules

“Heroes like Percy Jackson!”

“Oh, honey, you mean Persassy Jacksass. Poor Annabeth didn’t know what she was getting into!”

“AnD tHeN aLoNg CaMe LuKe!”

Fubuki (via incorrectgxquotes)

Atticus.....

Source: Avatar

[Hearthstone is in the patch of forest behind the Alderman mansion, staring at the rune on top of the stone cairn. He makes as if to touch it before losing his nerve and letting his hand fall back. Momentarily defeated, he sits down, then pauses, noticing the smell of laundry]

Inge(Signing with a tentative smile): Hello/Sorry.

Hearthstone(Surprised, then concerned, signing): What are you doing here? Not safe for you.

Inge(Sitting down next to him, fidgeting nervously): I know. Heard you were here. Wanted to talk to you, to say goodbye, to say sorry.

Hearthstone(Frowning): Sorry?

Inge(Signing in a rush, after a moment’s stalling): I know you don’t like me-

Hearthstone(Confused): I like you!

Inge(With a rueful smile): But not the way I like you.

Hearthstone(Slowly beginning to understand): Guess not.

Inge: It’s okay. I kind of knew. The night you released me I just-

[Her hands fail her momentarily. She blushes, continuing without looking at him]

Inge: Out of line. Inappropriate. Wanted to apologize.

Hearthstone(Shaking his head): No. We are friends, don’t need to apologize for that.

Inge(Staring at her hands): Not just that. The runes.

Hearthstone(At a loss): The…

Inge(Talking while signing): I know how it works. To learn the runes, to use magic the way I saw you use it, you have to have suffer. You have to endure the kind of agony Lord Odin did, pain like most people can’t even imagine, just to- Hearth, I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I couldn’t help you, I’m sorry you had to carry this alone, I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, I keep thinking back and wondering if I could have changed things if I’d just done SOMETHING-

[She breaks off, scrubbing away tears with the heel of her hand. Hearth covers her free one with his, then waits until she looks him in the eye]

Hearthstone: You learned to sign.

Inge(Staring at him): I… what?

Hearthstone: You learned to sign. Parents thought it was stupid. Andiron wasn’t good at it. Couldn’t understand people, couldn’t talk back. But you learned on your own, even though you didn’t know me, even though you were little. Practiced by yourself. Then one day…

Inge(Signing with a watery smile): Hello, H-E-A-R-T-H-S-T-O-N-E.

Hearthstone: Meant everything to me. Meant I was not alone. 

[Inge turns away, wiping at her eyes. Hearth waits for her to collect herself before continuing]

Hearthstone: Don’t have many good memories from this place. But you are in all of them. And someday you will meet someone who will completely fall for you- and if you decide they’re good enough, you will make them the luckiest person alive. I know it.

Inge(With a chuckle, blushing again): Like you did.

[Hearthstone stares blankly at her, then, suddenly understanding, flushes a light green. Inge laughs]

Inge: Your dwarf! His name is B-L-I-T-Z-E-N, right? Can see why you like him so much. Kind, brave-

Hearthstone(Flushing a darker green): Stop.

Inge(Teasing): Very handsome-

[Hearthstone hurriedly puts his hands over hers, making her laugh even more before gently freeing herself]

Inge(Signing with a smile): When I met him… I was relieved. Him and Son of Frey. They make you happy- and I was so relieved because I always wanted that more than anything. Wanted you to be happy. Wanted you to have real family. And you found it.

[She hugs him before getting to her feet]

Inge(Smile turning bittersweet): Don’t know if I will see you again. Hope so. But if not, be strong. Be safe. Be happy.

[She disappears in a cloud of laundry scented smoke. Hearthstone stares at the place where she stood for a little while before getting up and turning back to Andiron’s cairn. He hesitates for a moment, then finally picks up the othala rune, holding it tightly.]

*begins to drown in my own tears*