finished hannah gadsby’s memoir and she has a whole section on what she calls her wilderness years— that decade or so of time where she tried to muddle through one day to the next in a state of near total isolation and how her particular flavor of post traumatic attention deficit autism spectrum comorbidities slowly wrangled her into living in squalor while she drowned in shame she had no ability to understand compassionately and I was like oh yeah that’s age 21-28 all right.

[ID: quote: these years were the most precarious of my life, and i need not have survived them. i want to be sure that you understand that. end ID]

I think a pivotal moment in my education as a horror writer was when I posted this and person after person reacted to my (random, arbitrary, not factual) metric of age 28 marking the end of such a period in one’s life with “oh, thank god. I don’t have to do anything. It’s going to stop by itself when I turn 28 🙂”

my masterlist of 'how to life’ tips

Cleaning & Tidying

Organisation & Productivity

Money

Food & Cooking

Misc

Some final words of advice:

this is truly excellent 🙌🏻

hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember

was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”

bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life

sex ed in the south is so concerning lmfao. my bible teacher taught it and he told us women cant actually orgasm. his evidence was that he’d been with his wife for 30 years and I quote “if the female orgasm was real i would have seen it by now.” miss banks if you’re out there i am so sorry ma’am

baby boomers vs. millennials & gen z

This is what the animal crossing developers think “cool” means

theyre damn right yhou fucking moron

whats it like getting 8 hours of sleep every night

vulpx this reply needs its own hall of fame imo

The way men view women in movies is so funny because Rey with the Force shouldn’t be able to do all that and Carol Danvers with Superpowers shouldn’t be able to do all that but Singular Cop Dude with No Powers Trapped In A Building can take down 20 genius terrorists Alone (Die Hard)

op I thought you were referring to Paul Blart before I could finish this

LMAO

take your carriage very slowly by your rival’s home, that she might see your latest hat

Eat your heart Catherine, you toad-eating hag.

Elizabeth, you must surely be aware that I am unable to view the roads from my apartments due to the vastness of my estate…

Oh, please do forgive my mistake, Catherine, I had only assumed you could see from that ostentatiously high pedestal atop of which you have placed yourself

Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.

 SO TODAY I was walking to college down a main road, it was really windy (as you might imagine with all the cars) and I was preocupied with keeping a grip on my beanie when I saw these two women walking a little way ahead of me on the other side of the road. One of these ladies was a bit taller than the other and they were holding hands (aww), the taller kinda butch lady had a flannel shirt on (double aww) and her partner/friend was wearing a cute cream and beige hijab. Now I swear to God this is relevant, wait for it.

A massive gust of wind suddenly comes tearing along the main road. I nearly lose my backpack, to give an idea of how bad it was. I look up and see the wind rip off this poor girls hijab and send it spiriling away down the street. (She had an undercap on so no major crisis but still, right.) 

Before. You. Can. Blink. Our taller flannel-wearing girlfriend of the year TEARS off her flannel like lesbian Clark f***** Kent, throws her shirt over her partners head, and BAM she sprints off LIKE A SHOT after the hijab. 

like 10/10, damn son, holy cheesits burrito, that is the very definition of chivalry and romance right there. 

Possibly the saddest thing I’ve ever seen

no one really needs me and that makes me really fucking sad 

no listen okay nobody really needs oreos or tv or pictures of clouds: but they’re all stuff that makes the world better for existing. i think the whole western idea of “you must have worth! you must have value! you must be NEEDED!” is really poisonous. you are not for sale. you don’t need a “worth,” a “value”. you don’t NEED to be needed!!! it’s okay to just BE! a few days ago a girl thought i was out of earshot and said “omg she’s so pretty!!” and yeah i don’t need to hear that, but it made me so incredibly happy!! 

plus: there’s literally no way for you to know how you’ll effect someone through your life. my friend didn’t commit suicide because a passing stranger on the train happened to say something into his phone that connected with her soul (”of course you deserve love, you are breathing, aren’t you?”) and she didn’t have the chance to thank him or ever see him again but she needed to hear that. i think we need to be in places + talk to people + overhear certain things: but they’re never the stuff we expect. in the meantime, i promise, for at least one person (that’s myself): you’re my oreos. i sure as hell would be a sad girl without you.

you don’t NEED to be needed!!! it’s okay to just BE! 

this is very important

I needed this today.

a “picrew?” back in my day we called it a “dollmaker”

you flock to the new era without a glance towards your ancestors and wonder why history repeats itself

*parts a bead curtain as i enter the room, carrying a glass of lemonade* 

hey….

nothing you ever read, watch, or participate in will be ideologically pure and without its problems. your quest to consume the most unproblematic material will be, in the end, fruitless. your enjoyment of anything will be sapped away, leaving you a husk starved for media.

 it is okay to enjoy things that have problems to them, so long as you do it critically and with an open mind, and take care to consider others.

*leaves the way i came*

This is possibly the healthiest post I’ve seen on this site

i have a friend who is colorblind.

i have another friend with synesthesia where she sees colors when she listens to music

my colorbind friend has always wanted to see color and because my friend with synesthesia and my colorblind friend have the same taste in music, she describes color to my colorblind friend by relating it back to music

like “the sky is duke ellington’s satin doll”

and it is the purest thing this is what pure friendship is

anyway no meme has had more direct influence on my life than the “I’m at soup” video and it shaped my entire personality from a young age

my friend who is training to be a 911 operator just told me that they are having to restrain themself whenever responding to training calls from saying “that’s illegal people can’t do that” and I find that so fucking funny

For context

That time of night as an adult where you’re desperately tired and want to sleep but you also don’t want to give up the day yet bc there’s stuff you wanna do. I’m calling it the toddler hour

This post came into my bedroom and punched me in the face