renee

What’s funny is that this actually happened. 

I’m unfamiliar with this story please elaborate

Finnish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he’s the only one carrying the emergency amphetamines for the unit, takes too many and goes on a one man rampage for like 2 weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades. Oh and he did it all on skis. 

Did he survive?

Yes, during his methed up 2-3 week rampage he got injured by a land mine, travelled 400km on skis, and only ate pine buds and a Siberian Jay that he caught which he ate raw. When he made it back to Finnish lines he was taken to a hospital where it was found his heart rate was nearly 200 beats per minute and his weight had dropped to 43kg (94.7lbs).

His name was Aimo Koivunen if you want to look him up

Those are the eyes of a man who has seen god and laughed

dating is supposed to be empowering. it’s supposed to make you feel good. it should be about two people, enthusiastically wanting to get to know each other and spend time together. it’s supposed to make you feel good and add joy and fun to your life

if talking to/dealing with/dating/getting to know a person isn’t like that, it’s probably a waste of time

THIS!!!!!!!

Frogs are hilarious I mean they’re mostly just a mouth but with just enough leg to throw the mouth at food

So my friend gave me a bath bomb for christmas and I finally used it last weekend and so I was going to take before and after pictures like everyone’s been doing on tumblr 

Then I dropped it in the water and 

MIKE WAZOWSKI WAS INSIDE THE BATH BOMB 

PUT THAT THING BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

Mom’s potato staring at me across the room

this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like

“who ARE you” 

And after a long day of lecturing, Professor Pup just couldn’t keep his eyes open.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOBAW

[VERY SMALL VOICE] foobaw!

I picked up a worm, and it wrote something in my hand with a tiny pencil. Unfortunately it was too small to read. An autograph? A spell? An angry note?

@reanimateobjects I’ve decided to line up with their writing and whatever they wrote appear to be…. phallic. I don’t how to break the news with you, but, I think that worm drew a penis on your hand…. Congratulation?

Ooh! Thank you for this valuable contribution to the field of worm linguistics and/or art. It is still unclear to me if it’s meant as a rude message to me, if it’s just putting its tag there, or something else. Further research is needed!

I think the idea of it being a penis is anthropomorphism. I mean, the worm doesn’t have a penis itself, nor proper eyes with which to see one. No, I’m afraid this is something far more interesting: a self-portrait. You have been touched by an aesthetic annelid, and now your life will never be the same.

Now I will forever try to communicate with all the worms I find, but I worry that I’ll never meet this one again.

My name is Werm I liv in ground And thru the darck I skwirm around

The peepl tell me All the tym I’m farr too yuck With too much slym

But I think Werm Is gud to be. I find a styck

I draw a me

golden brushtail possum

i just drew in like a ten second long continuous gasp. im so glad we share the planet with this creature i just learned existed 10 seconds (of continuous gasp) ago

she climb. she hold