Something to believe in

“Stop romanticizing the past. Stop thinking about the way he smelled on your pillow beside at three A.M. Stop remembering how high you could get off of her kiss. Stop wondering where it went wrong, or why it went wrong, or when. Start romanticizing yourself. Start staring in the mirror and telling yourself how the fire in your eyes is there, no matter how dim. Start wanting to hear the sound of your own laugh because it’s the most pure music you know. Start feeling your own heartbeat in the dead of night when nothing goes right. Stop fighting off tears. Stop talking to people who won’t listen. Stop feeling like this is over. You’re just beginning, love. Start crying at two in the morning, even though you’ll never understand why. Start talking to the ceiling and your pillow; they won’t betray you. Start listening to your own breathing when you fall asleep. It’s time, dear, to stop looking at what could have been. Because, my precious sweetheart, you should be all you will ever need. His cologne is a perk that you can live without. Her lipstick on your lips is a smudge you can live without. Your joy? Your joy, dearest darling, you cannot live without.”

“She is, above all else, tired; she wants more than anything to return to her bed and her book. The world, this world, feels suddenly stunned and stunted, far from everything.”

“You did a terrible thing, it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person.”

“I won’t kiss you. It might get to be a habit and I can’t get rid of habits.”