(^_^)

The person who ran next to your car when you were a child.

Shoutout to those that never imagined this guy and get really confused when they see everyone agree that they saw them as a kid. My favorite collective hallucination.

A Priest, Rabbi, and Atheist walk into a bar and each asks for a drink.

The bartender, saying nothing and looking disdainful, points to a sign clearly labeled: NO JOKES SERVED HERE

Without a fight, the Priest, Rabbi and Atheist leave the bar, heads hanging.

The next day a chicken walks in and plops down on the barstool.

Wiping the inside of a glass, the bartender approaches and asks the chicken “Are you part of this joke?”

“Yeah.” the chicken replies.

Again, he points to the sign: NO JOKES SERVED HERE

The chicken argues “Well then how’s a chicken supposed to get his beak wet?”

The bartender moves his pointed finger from the sign to the window.

“There’s another bar across the road.”

I’m about to start a crusade.

Honestly, me too.

This has the same energy of the dash cam video of the Russian dude just lowering his sun visor to block the light of the exploding meteor thing a couple years back.

i love how there is no comments on this everyone just gets the reference

No. No, I don’t get the reference. 300 thousand people have reblogged this without a word, without so much as a tag, because apparently we all get the reference. I fucking don’t. This has passed by my dashboard hundreds of fucking times and nobody ever asks what the fuck it is.

I’m officially terming this post a conspiracy. 300000 people could not just know what this is. You’re all reblogging this to fit in, or because you know it messes with people, or because you’re the fucking Matrix. You’re the Matrix, aren’t you? You’re all a bunch of Mr Smiths living in a world of green code. Well fuck you all and fuck your stupid post. I’m off to save fucking Zion.

Fuck this.

Dude it’s from spongebob

Some fun facts about “vegan leather.”

Yes, it is plastic. Which means it’s breaking down and releasing micro-particles into the environment.

That’s bad.

There’s also the whole “plastic comes from oil” issue and no, most vegan leather is not made from plant based plastic or recycled plastic.

It’s also not recyclable itself.

It wears out faster, and is less repairable, so you’ll have to buy new boots or whatever every couple of years instead of like. Once every decade and getting them occasionally fixed (for typically less than the cost of a new pair of vegan leather boots).

One of the attorneys I work with has a beat-up leather briefcase he was gifted when he passed the bar. In the 70s.

Another attorney bought a vegan leather one last year and he already has had to replace it.

It doesn’t “breath,” so your boots are more likely to smell than if they were made of leather.

It won’t form to your feet over time, so it’s less comfortable.

It also isn’t anywhere near as warm in the winter.

It doesn’t protect against various dangers and, in some cases, could make things much worse for the wearer. Ever had plastic melted to your skin? It’s not fun.

I know someone that professionally butchers local livestock and game. A few years ago, she would sell hides to various manufacturers. Now, she can’t even pay people to take hides. Her shop had to buy a bigger dumpster to hold the hides because they can’t get rid of them.

Because no one wants leather anymore.

(I could go on and on about the ethics of the meat industry in america, but to stay on topic, I won’t. Send me an ask if you want to talk about it. Same goes for initial cost issues for low income people, because I know that’s also a major thing)

Basically, as long as there is a market for beef in America, there will be hides that can be turned into leather. Yes, I know, there are a lot more complex issues in this, what with capitalism and all. See previous paragraph.

But the bottom line is that vegan leather SUCKS and people should avoid buying it whenever possible.

Vegan “wool” is also plastic, in case you were wondering, and it suffers from all of the same issues the above poster mentions.

If it weren’t for Arabs, we would never have 9/11

Instead it would be IX / XI

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

WHAT?

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

WHAT?????

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

This is very true lol

Yo what the f u c k

not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

What the fuck

i-

….thank you tumblr??

Wtf? This is my first time seeing this but for some reason I already pressed the "Like" button?! Wtf?! Whatever. Reblogging it anyway

Tom and Jerry rocks !

wow yall got me FUCKED UP on a Sunday morning already?? 

Seriously what the fuck is the story behind this shit

Reblog art guys. Seriously.

Always reblog art! No one sees it if it’s liked. Help circulate an artist’s hard work!

OW

True tho

Liked this, and then did a double take. Please reblog, it means so much to artists. This includes writers too

I know you don’t hate it (probably) but I can’t stress this enough! Reblogs fill my heart and soul with joy

The other day I watched a little boy get knocked to the ground by an older kid who was running by. He burst into tears as his mother hurried over.

“Here’s a bandaid for ya,” I said, producing one from my vest pocket.

“Oh, he’s not bleeding, thank you though!”

I lowered my voice and leaned in. “Kids think bandaids are health magic,” I said. “Ask him where it hurts and exploit that placebo effect.”

She did just that, and instantly the kid stopped crying and thanked her. “I’ll have to remember that,” she said.

Children: #HACKED

Also if you have a crying kid give them a cup of water. You can’t cry and drink at the same time and it gives them a chance to calm down.

Tell them their going to run out of tears so they drink the water.

My mom does this at her preschool after awhile the other children start offering the crying child little cups of water.

Stuff like this is also a great test to see if the kid is actually seriously injured! Because with how much some kids cry over tiny bumps and scrapes, it can be hard to tell. But if you slap a Band-Aid on it or give them a cup of water or a piece of candy and they stop crying, they’re fine. If they keep crying despite whatever little placebo or distraction you’ve given them, you might wanna look a little closer at that injury or seek medical attention.

With my two’s class we ask them “more hurt or more scary?” It takes a bit of practice but after a few times they can answer without more prompting. More scary gets a hug and more hurt gets a look over.

That last one is so important because it validates the child’s feelings and tells them it’s okay to have these feelings and lets them learn how to deal with them, rather than just distracting them from them. I also helps teach the child to both communicate their feelings more readily and communicate when they’re hurt more clearly. All really important skills for a child to develop young.

Going duck

meirl

The Satisfying Yet Strange Way An Open Train Looks As It Turns.

Full and finished short-story of the black cat. Please have a heart for black pets in general, animals do not deserve this kind of hostility. Please give credit when reposting, Thank you :)

waaaaaaahbiuuyoooooogurbrhfhfj imfiiiiiiine

Jesu‌‌s onc‌‌e sai‌‌d “H‌‌e wh‌‌o live‌‌s b‌‌y th‌‌e sword‌‌, wil‌‌l di‌‌e b‌‌y th‌‌e sword”

H‌‌e wa‌‌s ‌‌a carpente‌‌r tha‌‌t die‌‌d b‌‌y bein‌‌g naile‌‌d t‌‌o ‌‌a piec‌‌e o‌‌f wood‌‌, s‌‌o h‌‌e migh‌‌t hav‌‌e ha‌‌d ‌‌a point.