i’m riko or worm (he/she) and this is my main. i tag my posts with riko.txt
sideblogs:
feel free to shoot me an ask if you want me to tag anything!!
i do not mind spam-liking+reblogging :)
also here is a reminder to not call japanese people or characters rats because it’s an incredibly derogatory racial term, please and thank you.
A 2017 classic updated for the new game.
the chimeras really were that last nail in Shou Tucker’s reputation
here’s a silly little prank to pull on your brother 🥰
Hi tumblr I’m “new” (I’ve had this account for months but never used it)
aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall
Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.
Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him
This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.
Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.
It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance
They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.
if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes
Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.
Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.
this is too good to leave hidden in the replies
fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard
The implication that Himejima, while being extremely distrustful of children and their true intentions, continually finds himself becoming something similar to a father figure to like 5 of them is so funny to me.
Himejima: I don't like children, so I will not be around children.
*Genya, Muichiro, Kocho, and Kanae show up*
Himejima: Oh my goodness.
