“We say haunted, but what we mean is that the house has gone insane.” Story: In Seattle, Washington, there’s a house called Rose Red. Owned by the Rimbauer family, it’s said to be haunted. Deaths, disappearances, and other strange occurrences used to happen…until one day, they stopped. Cut to present day, when parapsychology professor Joyce Reardon gathers a team of talented psychics – including…
“They can see you now.” Story: Brother and sis Mike and Abby are doing their best after tragedy upon tragedy hit their family. When their Aunt Jane threatens to take custody of Abby, a desperate Mike takes a job at a derelict restaurant/arcade. Night shift, bad pay, huge creepy-ass puppets, troubling history. Paradise! What’s that sound? Scares: Jumps scaaaaares, baybeeeee! Splat Factor: PG-13.…
“Are you ready?” Story: Cherie is your typical twenty something young mom. Absolutely adorable little girl, absolutely dull-ass paralegal job, absolutely kickass hopes and dreams. But when a client dinner she takes for her lawyer boss turns out to be an absolutely killer evening, can she step up? Absolutely. Scares: lots of tension Splat Factor: women getting hunted and killed? There’s red…
🎶Cry little sister…🎶Story: Scares: A bit? Kinda? More chills and suspense, but the comedy balances things out. Splat Factor: Lots of blood, lots of vampire death. Subgenre: Year Released: 1987 Remake, Sequel or OG (Original Ghoul)?: Based – loosely, obviously – on Peter Pan. Trick or Treat?: I loved this movie back in the day. Had the six sheet sized poster hanging above my bed. Was…
“…so you better fasten your seatbelts, ’cause it’s time for takeoff! WOO!” Story: A group of local government employees have finally gotten their project off the ground; the Kolarengen Shopping Center, which will breathe life into that communities’ infrastructure. Probably. But when the group celebrate – er, have “professional development training”, so it can be written off as a business expense…
“Now the FUN begins!” Story: Alpha Sigma Rho hast four new pledges for their co-ed fraternity/sorority/thing. But on their Hell Night – the final night that new pledges must endure before initiation – Our Gang has to spend the night in a mansion with a tragic history. Could one of the twisted family members still live there, with nobody realizing the danger? I mean, DUH. Obviously. Scares and/or…
“OMG mom, you need to stop, okay? This has nothing to do with me. You know, I kinda sorta wish you guys would get over it.” Story: In 1987, three girls were murdered by the “Sweet Sixteen Killer” – and in present day, high school junior Jamie Hughes is over it already. But then the killer reappears, and murders another of the ol’ class of ’87. When the killer tries to murder Jamie at the…
“Bring the hammer, Daddy…. And a nail.” Story: Lola just wants a date to the prom, y’all. So she asks classmate Brent, but he’s got a girlfriend and has already made plans. So Lola makes plans of her own…and they include violence. Scares: The main one? That this is something that could actually happen in real life. *shudders*Splat Factor: Lots. Skin gets carved, cut, stabbed…and…
“You got a better chance of convicting a man of kicking a dog than killing an Indian.”Story: WWI is over, hooray! Ernest Burkhart heads to live with his Uncle William King Hale, and begins to put down roots. Marries a lovely Osage woman named Molly, makes friends…and finds that the Osage people have a whole lot of money. Money his Uncle decides would better serve other folks. Y’know, white folks.…
Did you know that The YouTubes has hours of Halloween music free to stream? Yes – spooky seasonal sounds, and gorgeous art, yours for the price of a remote control clicky. And because I’m headed out to see Killers of the Flower Moon today (yet another no-Baltimore advance screening for press, boo hiss), I’m treating myself to an easy post for this #31in31. I do what I want, y’all. There are all…
“What can you see?… WHAT CAN YOU SEE?” Story: It’s 2057, and out sun is dying. So to try and reboot the ol’ gal, an expedition is sent out to drop a massive payload into her, in the hope of creating a new star. It failed. So? Try, try again, right? I’m sure everyone will be completely sane, rational, and not jeopardize their mission in any way, even if they notice a signal from the original…
So…the film many of us horrorhounds (and gamers – love y’all) have been waiting for! Synopsis! The terrifying horror game phenomenon becomes a blood-chilling cinematic event, as Blumhouse— the producer of M3GAN, The Black Phone and The Invisible Man— brings Five Nights at Freddy’s to the big screen. The film follows a troubled security guard as he begins working at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. While…
“Guys, you don’t know what can happen here.” Story: Ruthie has lost her grandmother, but gained an old hotel. So she brings her girlfriend, a friend, and an acquaintance to the place before she decides to sell. As the emotions of the quartet get heated in isolation, strange things start to happen. Is the hotel fucking with them, or has Ruthie gone full Torrance? Scares: There’s a chainsaw so…
“That’s what makes me dangerous – I’m the new type of other woman.” [Yep, Alice says that with her whole chest. Ew.] Story: Irena Dubrovna, a young woman from Serbia, is a fashion artist with a secret… If she’s turned on, she’ll turn into a panther. Yeah, her boyfriend doesn’t believe it either. But Oliver wants Irena, and they get married. When another woman successfully catches Oliver’s eye,…
“So, how long will you be gone this time?” Genre: What is WITH This Planet Y’all Actioners Release Date: 2023 Where I Watched: Netflix Gist: Mills is a rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone…because his ship hit an uncharted asteroid belt that killed everyone else on board. Except hey, a little girl survived too! So all these two need to do is figure out how to get off the planet they…
“They’ll eat anything, right? Ay?” Story: So. Australia has saltwater crocodiles, right? And sometimes folks want to see them up close, while traveling waterways that have crocs. Smart move? Yeah, not for a group of tourists who want to snap some pics and have bragging cred. Because they’re gonna get a whole lot more than they bargained for when their boat is attacked by a big’un, and they’re…
“ARE YOU READY?” Story: Maggie and her fellow film students are gonna throw a big huge horror film fest, so their department can raise some funds. They decide to go all out, with schlocky oldies known for their in-theater gimmicks, but what they don’t know is that there’s a killer who seems to want Maggie and her friends dead…and that could be tied to an old film the kids find while setting up,…
“What did they teach you about revenge in your course…?” Story: Paul Dood wants nothing more than to be famous. So when there’s a television talent competition audition nearby, he drops everything to attend. And everything happens to get in the way of his big chance. So? Payback’s a bitch…and so are astoundingly stupid coincidences.Scares: Absolutely zero. Splat Factor: Some, but with this…
“And I promise, I’ll never, ever be late again for the rest of my life. Deal?” Story: It’s five years after the slaughter at Camp Crystal Lake, aka Camp Blood. There’s a new camp counselor training site near the old camp…what could go wrong? Hey, who’s out there?Scares: Lots of tension, and jump scares. Plus all the murdering stuff. Splat Factor: FX maestro Stan Winston helms this joint. So yeah.…
“Oh my God, I’m too stoned for this.” Story: In 1973, a group of twenty somethings are on the way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, when they picked up a suicidal hitchhiker. Things go from bad to really, really bad when they try to call the Sheriff. Was that a chainsaw I heard just now? Scares: Well crafted and plentiful. Splat Factor: This remake definitely makes up for the lack of onscreen stuff in…
