Me- I don’t wanna go to class today. I feel out of it

*classes is cancelled *

Me- God???? Is that you???

Me: I️ don’t want to go to work today

Boss:

(Looks like God’s got both our backs today)

Bless this day ❤️❤️❤️

I swear this post is blessed or something because I said “I want a reason to go somewhere” while looking at this post and then pretty much just after, my mother asked me to go to the store to get some eggs since I used the last 2

Reblog this post to get something you want

Can we just

the fact that this was written two years ago and it’s still relevant… what does that tell you?

I’ve been saying this for years but guys

Sandy Hook. 

Sandy Hook was the Nightmare Scenario. It was the “that’s not realistic.” If I’d been arguing with someone who was anti gun control and I said “someone could take a gun and go into a school and kill thirty kindergartners in just a couple of minutes, how would you feel then,” they would have said I was exaggerating, that’s manipulative and unrealistic. 

but that’s what happened. 

and the thing is

if thirty dead, white, upper middle-class kindergartners in Connecticut aren’t going to motivate change on gun control

then they’re never going to change for queer people in Florida, and they’re not going to change for music fans in sin city, and they’re not going to change for college students in Washington and Oregon, and they’re not going to change and they’re not going to change. 

A white man can buy 19 automatic weapons and no one is going to raise an eyebrow. And then afterwards they’ll send thoughts and prayers. 

this image has given me the ability to kill

Johnny Testickle

guess who’s first

sonnet which, unfortunately, will not fit on a post-it note

Wash every dish and empty out the rack. Fold or hang each garment with the care that it prefers. Tell yourself the air is sweet to your skin. Exercise the knack which you attempted to abandon. Crack an egg and eat what it becomes. Wear a pendant. Clean the bathtub. Wash your hair. Drink water. Leave your bed. Do not go back.

Remember all the soggy, blurred-out days. Remember what you know: this is such stuff as life is made on, which could pass you by again, which has devised so many ways to leave you. Make that memory be enough. It won’t be. It may never be. Try.

Days 8+9

This is probably the cutest

This is the perfect pet for people who want to keep a small container of water with something pretty in it. Even though it’s a plant and not a fish, it’s way cuter than a sad, cramped betta- and less maintenance, too. A marimo is perfect for that pretty aesthetic or your college dorm room. Want a mason jar aquarium? A marimo will be perfectly happy in there. Want a fishbowl with pretty rocks? Get a marimo, or even a few of them! I can’t overstate how wonderful and cute marimo are.

an open letter to the inventor of bread

hey. thanks

watching an actress in full makeup pretend to wash her face and then pat dry her still fully contoured cheeks for an acne wash commercial

when i was 13 i had no idea what make up looked like on. media literacy is important

I especially like the makeup remover ads where she takes off her lipstick, to reveal lighter lipstick underneath.

or the commercials for razors with women shaving their already baby smooth, waxed legs

y'all mind if i

can’t…im shy

I love the power of friendship osmosis.

“I don’t really know much about this thing, but my friend likes this thing. So by the transitive property, I like this thing and feel defensive over this thing on behalf of my friend. And if I see this thing while out with other friends, I will excitedly point it out and announce that it is the thing my first friend likes. I will also feel happy when I see it, as it reminds me of my friend, and time permitting, I will take pictures of it to show my friend later.”

fashionably late? more like anxiously early

I saw the greatest thing today.  So I’m at a stoplight in the passenger seat, right?  And I hear hoofbeats nearby.  I look over and there’s a lady walking her horse. We’re close enough to be in talking distance and this horse is incredibly happy.  Her ears are pricked forward and she’s JUST SO DELIGHTED TO SEE EVERYTHING.

“I like your big dog!” I said.

“Thanks!  She’s an asshole!” she said, and the horse headbutted her so hard she staggered. SHE JUST LOVES THIS HORSE SO MUCH, GUYS, she laughed and patted her nose.

THANKS. SHES AN ASSHOLE.

I used to hate sleeping because it’s just like being unconscious for eight hours but now I love sleep because it’s just like being unconscious for eight hours

Whatever, man, solar eclipses aren’t nearly as cool as lunar eclipses. A lunar eclipse is at NIGHT and the MOON turns BLOOD RED and you don’t need dumb glasses to watch it. It’s goth as hell. Fuck the sun.

romeo and juliet act 5 scene 3

romeo:

The first ever “champion” of a pie eating contest was an unnamed 6-year-old boy. In 1916, he managed to scoff a 10-inch pie in 15 seconds.

legend

why didn’t his parents name him