I love how hard Steve is laughing.

Assigned Daquan at the Stand up comedy club

oh my GOD what is her name i wanna watch more

GOOGLE THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION I ASKED

are you trying to give me a heart attack

hey guys do u swear in front of/at your parents?

The one time I did I got sued. Good times

My favorite thing to do before executing a risky maneuver is to loudly proclaim to anyone nearby that "I'm young, I'm fantastic, and I'm never gonna die". This is firstly to pump myself up, secondly because if I succeed I'll be proven right in front of an audience, and thirdly because it is the funniest possible thing to say immediately before being horrifically mangled in a completely dumbfuck sort of way

bought the tumblr checkmarks out of impulse

i cant get rid of them

everybody hates you now grawly

didn’t even realize it was a bot because this interaction is so human

if you are in your late 20's or early 30's you are finally beginning to experience a true sense of separation and alienation from youth culture and to natural identify more with other adults as your peers, and that's a normal part of being an adult and moving into that stage of your life, and you MUST recognize it as such and resist the ancient Joker's Trick that is the urge to jump to the conclusion that nothing has changed about you and it is instead the children that have gotten weirder.

explaining the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to a tudor era peasant and when i'm finished they grab my hand and start excitedly gesturing at a poster advertising a performance of shakespeare's hamlet at the globe theatre

*nods thoughtfully and makes a mental note to explain the term "girlboss" next*

hey, can my cat stay on your blog for a little while?

i'm going out of town for the night and could use someone to watch her

thank you, everyone

oh jeepers, if i'd known she'd be travelling around this much, i'd've given her her leash

make sure to hold on tight to her, okay?

Do you think tumblr will ever learn the difference between “I’m defending this person because I agree with them wholeheartedly and I am also like this person” and “I’m defending this person because your behavior is dangerous and you need to stop”

IMO, blurring the lines between “I’m defending them because they’re right” and “I’m defending them because you’re taking this too far” is step numero uno to cutting down the very existence of fair trial and democracy–even in places where saying that might seem a little dramatic. 

Mob mentality is extremely strong in humans and it’s also extremely dangerous. Mobs don’t think things through. Mobs kill and they destroy and they can’t be reasoned with. Someone trying to calm a mob down isn’t someone defending the ~problematic party~ It’s time we re-learn that.

“even IF the guy did whatever you’re accusing them of, mob violence isn’t a fair or proportionate response, and you guys need to go home and mind your own fucking business” is a thing absolutely no one likes to hear but frequently needs to be said regardless

im gonna be real i do think we need to spend more time as a society encouraging adults to play pretend in structured ways bc what i’m getting from a variety of sources is we all like to make fake shit and pretend to be people we are not

No fr adults would be a lot healthier if their need for play was more easily satisfied. Play is a fundamental human need that does not go away when we exit childhood but it’s treated as childish and frivolous. No bitch that’s how we process our experiences and knowledge and practice emotions of all kinds in a safe space!! Learn how to play again!

life imitates art

tumblr is also like this

im the king from humpty dumpty that tried to get my men to fix the egg and it didnt work and i was like Lol let the horses try

.

That’s a portal

Btw wanted to reblog this to say that she's now in remission. ✨️