women will have no career path, no game, no bitches, and only 3 people in the world that can stand them and all they have to say for themselves is that theyre ‘just like george costanza but a girl’
you have to roleplay your url every time you open tumblr how screwed are you
DOCTOR WHO (2005 -) 4x01 ~ Partners In Crimes
If you stayed the age of your birth DAY forever, how old you would be?
Men I trust more like men I thrust! #pegging
Patch notes:
- "Men" has been replaced with "Jumps"
- "Trust" has been replaced with "drop"
- "Thrust" has been replaced with "pop"
Why
somebody shoot me. for i have a m/w/f 8am stats class this semester
opening a new type of hibachi restaurant where i microwave the food right in front of you
“Come with me. Right now. The boat is waiting. We can be free of this place. We can have a life together. And it can start this very minute. All you have to do is say yes. Set us both free.”
my brother calling me like hey you got a minute i just need to talk shit abt dad real quick. hahaha yessssss i always have time for that 😈😈😈😈😈
I do wholeheartedly believe Wes Anderson is a sick sick freak. I like his movies but I definitely think this guy has like a hidden room in his spacious french apartment that he slips into quietly each night and it is just filled with tiny little doll replicas of all the actors he's ever used in any of his movies and he puppets them around and mimicks their voices and shit. and sometimes he'll text Owen Wilson pictures of his little doll with a comb or something from an untraceable number and pair it with like "see how I take care of you Owen?" and then the following day Owen Wilson will find him at the service table and go, "Geez Wes look at this," and Wes will pretend to be all concerned and horrified but there is this calculating almost eager look in his eyes that unsettles Owen Wilson. and the next time Wes is having a little soiree with all his actors, his beloved beloved actors, maybe Owen Wilson will accidentally get lost on his way to the beautiful bathroom and find that little room and see all those dolls and his throat will hitch with horror. And before he can call Bill Murray or Adrian Brody to look a dark silhouette will appear in the doorway and Wes looks sort of resigned when he says, "I see you finally found my secret, Owen," and Owen Wilson will try and pretend that he's fine with it but they both know better. and Wes will go (the look in his eyes back again) "We both know this can't get out, right?" and he'll grin very suddenly and Owen Wilson will laugh along very nervously and leave the room and eat some brioche and when the evening is over he will rush over to his Prius and frantically click his keys but over the cobbles on the beautiful beautiful street there is the sound of footsteps. and tears are running down Owen Wilson's cheeks but he can't say a word and Wes, emerging from the shadows, will gently touch him on the shoulder and say, "look, I'll drive you to the airport, huh?" and Owen Wilson will try to refuse but they both know it's futile. and, halfway through the drive, Wes Anderson will smile and say, "I'll miss working with you" and then perfectly jump and roll out of the car, wiping off his corduroy pants, while Owen Wilson's Prius swerves into a local patisserie, bursting into flames
LOGAN LERMAN 2023 | via analuisacorrigan's Instagram Stories (August 19)



