Name something better than busting a fat cum in the morning

taking a big fat SHIT in your bed

well it's just like my cursed skull would always say

you know it my liege 🤣😂

nothing says "i miss you" like your 14 year old apprentice subtly trying to get you to buy a new car

EXCUSE ME

this fucking enderman just stole one of my goddamn pumpkins what an ASS

mans gotta eat too

Melanie Martinez wishes she was Grimes. Grimes wishes she was Bjork. Bjork wishes she was 2 inches tall so she could go inside the computer and have a big adventure

i deserve a gold star for being so sweet and nice and not killing

Talking about someone who uses multiple pronouns is so fun because if you use all of them you get a Tony Hawk Pro Skater combo

no one will ever find me in this deep dark labyrinth 🤣

what is that.

i mean this as is they seem like they’re good at the subject but honestly interpret it as whatever

me before going to sleep each night:

it is my birthday

sry im late but thank u mutuals for the birthday wishes 💕i am licking ur palms while whimpering and wagging my tail

sometimes, the only way i know my roommate is still alive is the $30 cheese that appears and disappears from our fridge

the reviews are in

Guy who says he's going to go "watch jerma" & then closes his eyes and imagines jerma. and smiles and laughs