Singing Songs to Herself

june 29 - back to the library

❄️🌨️Winter musketeer🌨️❄️

Your daily dose of cat memes

Pedestrian affirmations:

YOU ARE INVINCIBLE

AUTOMOBILES TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF YOU

GOD'S DIVINE LIGHT SHIELDS YOU

CROSSWALKS ARE YOUR HOLY PATH TO SALVATION

Orca rule

I've survived my first day on Tumblr

Achievements:

Oh boy oh boy you're gonna get a Rare achievement for this one

Containment Breach

Art by u/reachling

How to Set Fence Posts That Won’t Rot.

have a bunny kiss them for luck. got it

If I didn’t remember actually reading this in an actual Calvin and Hobbes book as a child I’d think it was ironically photoshopped like those comics where Mickey Mouse and Goofy talk about how reality is an illusion but this comic strip was actually just……. already………… like that……………

ok since i don't think i've seen any semi-comprehensive lists of the tumblr holidays for the reddit refugees, here it is.

IT JUST HAPPENS

WEEKLY EVENTS

YEARLY EVENTS

We need to normalize hating women’s stupid boyfriends I’m so serious. The lost art of I hope jakey dies

TOM AND ZENDAYA singing Love on Top to each other at Beyoncé's Renaissance World Tour in Warsaw 27 June 2023

i hate you shein. i hate you wish. i hate you temu. i hate you aliexpress. i hate you fast fashion. i hate you consumerism. i hate you planned obsolescence. i hate you plastics.

CAMILA MENDES as VERONICA LODGE ↳ 7x12 - After The Fall

i think it’s appropriate, funny even, to trauma dump on ppl who are intentionally being an asshole to u.

“lmao u just don’t wanna be bald bc then u’ll look like ur dad”

“i mean yeah honestly it’s kinda traumatic bc i have a rough relationship with my dad. it was rough to go from ‘daddy’s little girl’ to ‘gross gender freak’ after i came out, i’m used to him being my biggest cheerleader even when we didn’t see eye to eye, so to lose his support overnight has been really traumatizing and i’m really sad about it. and like how do i find positive male role models if my own dad doesn’t want to be one for me? who’s supposed to teach me to shave or take me to my first suit fitting or teach me how to be a good man when he doesn’t even believe i am one? what happens when i actually do start to look like him and he still rejects me? it’s just been really stressful to deal with all the—”

BINGO

One time someone asked if my parents didn't give me enough attention as a kid, and I kind of just paused for a sec, then said "well mom slept at the office and dad didn't want me so probably not, actually?" And it turns out they just thought I talked a lot

I've inadvertently done this because I'm autistic and have been through enough trauma therapy that I can just talk about that stuff without getting upset now, so sometimes people say something jokingly and I give a perfectly honest answer. And I only notice when they go silent and stare at me like I've grown a second head, but even funnier is when they start apologizing. Because then you know they were making a joke at your expense. And they won't be doing it again.

There was a salesman/account rep that everyone in my mom's building disliked. He was apparently somewhere between "asshole frat boy" and "scummy used car salesman," but he knew just where the line was and apparently enjoyed putting his toes on it, but never over.

They were stuck with him, basically.

One day, mom was sitting in the samples room, looking through some data with a couple of other people working at nearby stations, and this guy comes in, sees my mom, and decides he's going to have some fun.

"Hey, nice hat!" he says. "Having a bad hair day? Dye job go bad?"

My mother sets down her work, and reaches up, taking off her hat. "No. Chemotherapy. "

Now confronted with her bald head, he freezes, his life flashing before his eyes.

"For stage 4 breast cancer," my mother says, never changing expression.

He is now actively praying for death, as every other person in the room has stopped their work, and are staring at him.

"The prognosis is six to eight months," mom says. She doesn't say 'until I die,' but it hangs there. She picks up her work. "So I really should get back to this."

Apparently he was mass reported to his employer before he got out of the building by multiple lab heads. They never saw him again.

Return Awkwardness To Sender continues to be a valid stratagem

[Image ID: Tumblr tags in all caps reading: #haha you tried to make me upset #but I'm about to make you feel something much much worse #awkwardness /End ID]

#the man, the myth, the legend malewife upset about a fake book club

Another one

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