blep

first out of touch thursday of pride month lets go

The OG Metal Gear Solid voice actors are the best.

(Source: Jordan Vogt-Roberts on Twitter)

Every part of the fandom will understand how comforting this short tune is.

wow dude. I really just felt that in my heart. 20 seconds? that’s staying with me the whole night

This made me SO happy. Thank you.

if it ain’t broke

It soon will be

sorry, is that crocodile wielding a smaller crocodile

Jeremy: maybe I'm bisexual, yeah

My bi ass:

#he's too chaotic to be straight people

I am sorry for the delay! I hope this will be helpful!

The Great Gatsby is about realizing that you are gay and your friends are shit. Shut up about “the american dream” that’s not real

Hahaha jesus fuck

If you have depression and find yourself taking naps often due to chronic fatigue I just wanna remind you that you aren’t wasting time. You aren’t running out of time. You need rest, you need to catch up on the energy that you spend fighting your depression. It’s all gonna be okay. Life is long, you’re not wasting it by sleeping a little more often.

say it with me—

“someday i’m going to have the life i’ve always dreamed of and i won’t let self doubt stop me”

For anyone who needs to hear it:

Your late teens/20s are a weird time in your life. Don’t panic if you think somebody is more “ahead” than you. The concept of being ahead is nonexistent anyway because life’s not a race and each person has different hurdles to overcome.

It’s totally fine if you’re single. It’s fine if you’re still finishing school. It’s fine if you are still looking for a better job, or for any job at all. It’s fine if you haven’t had sex yet, or haven’t gotten your driver license yet. It’s fine if you haven’t gotten your own place yet. It’s fine if you are still figuring things out, saving money, putting the pieces together. It’s fine.

Don’t feel jealous of or lesser than people your age who have done these things. You don’t know what obstacles they faced to get there and they don’t know what you’ve faced. Don’t undermine the progess you have made.

Because, trust me, you have made progress. Even if it hasn’t materialized yet in the traditional way.

You are still young. Like really young.

You got time.

id love for someone to please explain to me how i ended up terrified of any kind of intimacy while craving it constantly all at the same time

Abuse bro

Saving these tags bc I mean. Look at them

This one’s for those who haven’t seen it before!

MOTHER FUCKER!

the best part of these meme is inarguably that the original version just said to look at the planet panel directly and this has been edited to make it even more time consuming

These TAGS.

this guy is a dnd character

this makes me want to cry

First of all, “…they were surrounded on all sides by echoes and images of themselves, in a world where image and object had not yet torn themselves apart” is one of the most poetic phrasings I’ve ever heard.

Second, here’s the original source, “What the caves are trying to tell us” by Sam Kriss.

Third, the original opens with:  “Every so often, I get the urge to drag someone into a cave, and show them something unspeakable.”

I had another point, but it got lost in the artful prose of this article.

I feel like “every so often, I get the urge to drag someone into a cave and show them something unspeakable” is something that’s okay for a paleolithic cave art expert to say, but like, absolutely no one else

the fact that tangled has a perfect set-up for major miscommunication between rapunzel and eugene to be the final emotional climax of the movie (“why’d you leave me”) but instead sidesteps that in favor of a beautiful battle between the two of them in which they try to out-sacrifice each other because they love and understand each other that much. the fact that they each try to save the other using the best means they’ve got at their disposal, the ones they’ve used their whole lives: rapunzel bargaining with mother gothel and promising away pieces of herself- this time all of herself- in exchange for his safety, Eugene pulling one final scam and trick when he feigns tenderly touching her face so he can actually cut off all her hair and set her free. the fact that Eugene’s plan works but as a result he dies, Flynn dies. (he told us this at the beginning, “this is the story of how I died” but remember- it’s a fun story.) The fact that the swashbuckling rogue and trickster and thief Flynn DIES so that rapunzel, the girl who never got to have a life, can LIVE. The fact that after one final successful trick Flynn dies so Eugene, little lost orphan boy, can rise again in his final and only role as a good man and as rapunzel’s husband- all of these make tangled the masterpiece it is. in this essay I will

OP where’s the essaaaaay

boss asked me if i knew what a brony was today but he pronounced it like “brownie” then started explaining, but somehow I’M THE WEIRD ONE FOR INTERRUPTING WITH “Oh, you mean BRONYS, yeah, they do want to fuck horses!”

boss today asked me if I knew what a bear was and it took the incredible effort of forcing every bone in my body to solidify into one giant Super Bone and in the process fusing my jaw shut for me to stop myself from saying “uh, yeah dude, you but gay.”

boss texted me today about all the business we’ve been getting and i texted back “haha yup our dance card is getting pretty full!” followed immediately by two minutes of debilitating panic about whether that was an actual saying or just some nonsense I’d made up.

boss came to my office today strictly to tell me he got hamilton tickets and had the nerve to be insulted when i referred to him as “the biggest copycat there ever was.”

boss today texted me the most unorthodox elipsis i’ve ever seen

my boss’s parents and my parents each have vacation homes in the same retirement community, which is widely rumored to be a hotbed of sexual depravity, so sometimes i deliberately antagonize him by implying - very innocently and with plausible deniability - that our parents swing with each other

boss just came into my office to ask me a question, paused and said “what the FUCK are you listening to?” and when i sheepishly admitted it was a remix of the wii shop channel music, he just left.

op what is your occupation

Rascal. 

i just had the weirdest moment, i was feeling my front teeth with my tongue because they’re the tiniest bit crooked, and then i had the thought “i’ll check if they’re also crooked in my other mouth” and then i realized to my shock and confusion that i have only one mouth, leading me to believe that in a past life i was a terrible monster with two mouths

A few months ago, I thought to myself “Mmm I’m so tired… how much longer in this one again?” and I knew instinctively what I meant by ‘this one’ was this body and this life. I then spend a few wide-eyed moments having an identity/existential crisis like how many times have I been on this earth to have such an instinctive response to being bone-weary to my soul? No one can really answer, especially not me.

In July 2017, one night I woke up around 2 a.m and blurted out in a quasi professorial voice “the Equinox Bird has infinite beaks, all in the wrong direction, and infinite eyes” and I don’t know what the fuck I was dreaming about but it still haunts me. It seemed like a very important information for a few seconds.

i really appreciate the last commenter giving us an exact date and time like that information needs to be preserved

One time I passed out on the couch after going a few days without sleep, and when I woke up mom said I had been speaking in German in my sleep, and it sounded like I was ordering people to build something

When I was like 5 my mom took me to the grave of her friend that died of cancer and I asked what happened and my mom explained that she died and i fucking said “I died once” and my mom asked me to explain and I went into pretty detailed explanation about how I died in a war because “I got stabbed by a gun with a knife at the end” (my exact words) and I met god and she (she’s a woman obvs) asked if I wanted to stay or go back to earth and I said I wanted to go back so I chose my mom cause she was struggling to have a baby (she had me through IVF) and lemme tell you that changed her like nothing will make you second guess your religious beliefs like a five year old explaining heaven and god to you

holy shit

transcription: “dude if he fucks up mac and che- … GARFIELD? GARFIELD!? NO! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? BEEL GATES? NO, wuh-WAIT, THAT’S MY GAMECUBE YOU BITCH!!!! huoAHWHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!? hWAIT NO GARFIELD IS ON FIRE… DIO! NO! WH

Im trying to figure out what fucking part of the world this persons accent is from that they say certain words (BEEL GATES??) The way they do who IS this???

Vinesauce Joel. He’s from Sweden. He’s famous for those “Windows XP Destruction” videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9DST-6jIBU

He was the voice of Grand Dad

Oh of course how could I have forgotten Grand Dad