not a dream

I wonder what kind of posts people will start blazing now that you can blaze other people's posts

WHY DID SOMEONE BLAZE THIS POST

*puts a kick me sign on my back*

why did someone kick me

THIS POST WAS BLAZED AGAIN YOU CURSED ME

First thing you see after you zoom in is how you die

How you dying 👀

I thought this was a fucking weather warning

#ALERT#GODZILLAS DICK IS FLACCID

customers the same in all universes

this is it. this is the best response i’ve ever received on this post. everyone pack up, go home, we’re done here

it’s officially spring which means porridge weather is over and hozier is finally done making his oatmeal and can now again release MUSIC 

for those of you who are ignorant of hozier’s hibernation habits

everyone who tags this post with an ominous phrase like ‘it’s time’ and then also adds ‘oatmeal’ is valid

once again oat season is over and springtime is upon us which only means one thing = new hozier music

The face Milhouse made haunted me for years. I don’t know what it is about that grimace that branded itself upon me but… it stuck. It stuck with me for years.

Even now, I feel a certain coldness

because its based on this picture of a French man watching the Nazis march into Paris in 1940

OG CAST IN THE LAST OF US (HBO)

bonus laura bailey cameo:

being aroace genderqueer and autistic is great because i actually do not understand anything about any part of society at all

(shouts into the room of ornithologists) HEY!!! YOU GUYS LIKE BIRDS RIGHT!!!

i dont even have guilty pleasures anymore i just like stuff and if people have a problem with that they can go fuck themselves

hears someone pounding at my door immediately before receiving this message

me checking the bottoms of very expensive ceramic plant pots for drainage

Sigourney Weaver to a bunch of children in the desert

part-time position. weekends forbidden. MUST NOT BE AVAILABLE DURING THE HOLIDAYS. always greet customers coldly and ignore your team members. looking for someone who can take directions terribly. must be horrible at math, crumple under pressure, and add more sorrow to the atmosphere. this is an unfriendly workplace, we all hate each other here, and we’re looking for individuals who disagree with our viewpoints.

Bank's hiring, I see.

what if a rat said cheesus christ

for the Spanish crowd: y si las ratas dijeran quesucristo

im so fucking angry because "cheesus christ" made me smile, but "quesucristo" made me choke on a laugh