I really just can’t understand why so many wizards have grimoires. Doesn’t that just ruin your mood?

My whimsoire is delightful and always uplifting, perfect for clown magic and good times!

Ah, no, we have grim WIRES. They conduct grimness away from highly grim areas and into less grim ones when properly formed into a circuit. It's so we can use traditional "grim and spooky" decor (skulls, chains on the walls, dreary flagstones, wrought iron, etc) while remaining comparatively upbeat, and it's also why the area surrounding a wizard tower experiences low level ominousness.

Utopia

this is the future leftists want

Stop subjecting to the child to such horrible things. This is absolute propaganda.

That child should not have heterosexuality forced down its throat!!

I just don't think heterosexuals should call it marriage. They should call it a union or something. Marriage is between a man and a man or a woman and a woman or a girl thing twink boy and a genderfuck trans fem, it says so in the brobile

which one of you is the non binary pet in this relationship

i have been making so many of these, more under the cut

feel free to use as reaction pics! just don't repost without credit if you post them on other social medias as reactions <3

these were inspired by @sm-baby 's post

@salticid​ you’re amazing and I love ur cryptic spambot convo I hope u like this!!

[twitter]

IVE FOUND IT AT LAST

Princess Mononoke is my favorite Ghibli movie ^^

"#he would say this", no he wouldn't, his writers are on strike

"#he would say this", no he wouldn't, his show got cancelled

"#he would say this", no he wouldn't, the fog is coming

"#he would say this", no he wouldn't, he has been banished from living memory wait who are we talking about

He’s casting Banish terf

my brother started calling our cat "doobie brother" which he then lengthened to "dubious brother" and has since morphed into "brother dubious" like he's some sort of fucked up little monk

brother dubious

call me a first level warlock the way i can do one thing before i need to lie down for eight hours

life's about casting a spell, then taking a wizardly siesta

Some of you didn’t seem to understand how magic works in the sense of how you can access it. I’ll explain again.

If you gain magical power from making a deal with a more powerful bring, you are a warlock. Sneaky lawyer.

If you gain magical power through teachings and studies, you are a wizard/artificer. (Artificers usually gain power through experimentation.)

If you gain magical power by pledging yourself to a cause, being, or idea, you are a paladin. Pretentious bitch.

If you gain magical power by praising a higher deity (and not making a deal), you are a cleric. Heal someone.

If you have magical power and you didn’t do anything to gain it, you are a sorcerer. Fuck you. Seriously, fuck you. The rest of us had to work for our shit.

If you gain magical power by protecting nature and caring for plants and animals, you are a Druid. Fucking hippie.

If you gain magical power from your desire to entertain and also fuck, you are a bard. Stop trying to seduce my dad.

Wrong, I’m a wizard because of my fun hat and tubular vibes. And also we (the rest of the wizarding community) recognize your request not to seduce your dad and politely decline

You wandless toad stuffer!

Favourite way to piss off warlocks: call them "edgy clerics"

Hey, could you do me a favor?

Could you just RB this?

The little RB statistics chart is so pleasant and stimmy to look at and I want to see what it looks like when it gets really REALLY huge because it makes me think of some deep sea lifeform

Heeeeeeeeeeeey, welcome to the magical cat-thing club!

I am a wizard. So when I hear questions like:

“Who are you?” “How did you get in my house?” “Where is my family?” “Dear god, what have you done to them?” “Why are you here?” “What do you want from us?”

It makes me really pissed off like, all will be answered in due time. For now, pick a card, any card!

I see Hollywood is now very into the idea of buying something once and then owning it forever and being able to make infinite copies. Which. Isn’t quite the message they imparted upon me in my childhood. In the spirit of their own long-held stance:

This is the standard winged nightjar and it has one singular stupidly big feather on each wing... if you even care.

Love this guy

Identifying Wizard Shit.

ohoho! unlucky for you, boy, you’ve activated my secret form! *extended magical girl transformation with music and different angles and sound effects that cuts abruptly to me dead on the floor*