feeling like the health inspector

REAL???

(Send evidence. I may share support)

You're looking at this wrong:

The wizard comes from a line of people that all have to work their asses off learning dead languages so they can read minor cantrips from dusty tomes. All of them could go out and fuck a dragon - not for their own benefit, but for their kids. Instead, they just do normal shit and read more books and go "Oh, well I had to read a zillion dusty tomes so my kids will too."

Now, the sorcerer? They come from a lineage of people that plant trees specifically so their children can sit in the shade. The peasant that goes out and learns draconic in their free time, masters all the steps of the mating dance, makes it to the Grand Dragon Flight and gets laid? Yeah, they could have become a wizard, They clearly had it in them. But instead of chasing immediate fame and power and glory for themselves, they guaranteed it for all their descendants.

It's actually way more heroic than just learning spells. If wizards actually gave a shit about the future, they'd be out there railing dragons. You can tell that they're only in it for the power because they don't it when magic is easy and accesible. They want every to suffer like they did. Fuck wizards. Unless you're a dragon - then you can do better.

Also tagging @hemipenal-system. We have an unusual friendship.

Now I claim I'm a wizard solely because of the drip (starry robes are both comfortable and stylish), but I'm a warlock. I asked mommy arch faerie for some magic powers (there's also the eldrich and devil patrons, I'm going with personal experience).

My children? They have a few outcomes: they choose a patron to give them magic (I believe having relatives already getting magic from a patron entitles you to having the same patron, not sure), they are the result of me having sex with some magical being (hoping my patron doesn't offer... ew), or they decide to go into wizardry (and be all cocky for some reason). Personally, I'd like the first two options over anything. Anything is better than the selfishness of a wizard. (Especially if it's elves. I... have a bad history with them.)

Now, before I defend you, were _you_ the one that pissed on it?

Losing it at this

Kirby

I shall not elaborate further

AMMA CRELLIN AS THE CHANGELING

too classic...ice scraper, snow removal

"Oh, we got a little snow last night." "Great! I'm gonna go grab the jet engine." "...what?"

I have questions, but they were blown away with the snow.

Creepiest monster thing alive: moves like that

this little girl: 😊☺️😄😄☺️😊🤩

This is so cute omg my heart is going vrooom vroroooooom

That fucking gumball scene gonna hit different btw

normalise being bad at roofs in minecraft. normalise not being able to make an aesthetically pleasing roof to save your life in minecraft.

Normalize just digging into the side of a mountain to avoid making roofs in Minecraft

yall need me to tap the sign?

here’s a roof guide that i use because i used to be shit

i dont remember the source, b/c ive had this for like years, but i suggest messing around with these roofs with different shapes/sizes of buildings

in fact, you can mix and match and have one roof with a side room with a different roof on it

honestly, have fun

I’ve had these saved for a long time and unfortunately don’t know the source either, but here are the other tutorials from this artist if anybody is interested!

woah

Yeag

Wizards!

I get it ok? You love showing each other up and you love competition. But please stop building your towers so high and worse, changing the height dynamically.

That shit sucks cause, when I'm on a 3 am munchies run to the nearest convenience store and your shitty tower suddenly grows straight into my flight path, I'm gonna hit it. It's 3 am, I'm drunk and Im flying impaired, I don't know whose tower I trashed last night but you deserve it. High tower bad. Growing tower worse.

King (@dude-the-ancient-dragon) I understand fully fucking why. It pisses me off too. My tower is more of "roblox doomspire" type shit. It doesn't grow taller, but any damage done to it will get repaired by itself.

In other words, I have a practically indestructible tower, not a tall one.

click here for kobold

I swear to the gods...

Ah, it's good to see you :D

Gordon, you lllllll𝕃𝕆𝕌𝕤𝕪 mothufucker. GET YO 𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐊 - 𝐀𝐒𝐒 down tothe 𝓉𝑒𝓈𝓉 𝒸𝒽𝒶𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇 or else i will ＳＨＯＶＥ 🆃🅷🅴 ＳＡＭＰＬＥ up your 𝔞𝔰𝔰.

*beep bee-beep bee-beep* *splat*

𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙋 𝙁𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙈𝙄ᴄʀᴏᴡᴀᴠᴇ

you can see him giggling

for years i attended knight school in hopes of becoming a hero who rescues beautiful maidens from danger (wyrms, wolves etc). unfortunately due to Feminism the maidens have all started rescuing themselves thus rendering me obsolete

There appear to be fresh openings in the wyrm/wolf companion careers. Are you allergic to dogs, gold, or fine silks?

all three 😔

thou could'st cut out ye middle manne and become a maiden?

verily, i have tried this but was ryte terrible at it

Mayhaps thyne attempt be short lived. Think upon the chances of trying once more. Practice improves.

forsooth you sound just like my mother

Quite the query indeed. Ah, a thought has't granted me illumination. Has't thou ever considered ventures into the bandit trade. There be riches abound and beautiful maidens to woo with thy'n outlaw charm

an intriguing proposition! tell me, are maidens these days into "bad boys"? because i am bad. at many things.

@beaft nah they're into wizards like me

(It's more than likely my feylike nature (feylike = autism))

Concerned Ape knows what's up

They do

reblog to pet a dragon on the snout

:3

@dude-the-ancient-dragon

Yeah?

Can I pet you on the snout?

Absolutely

Can I? :))

Shhh

The dragon is sleeping

/\ /\ z

|- = -| z

\._./ z

...Hi

*Puts a little hat on the dragon*

hmmm

Item: Orbmeal