Divination: Tea Leaves

Tasseomancy or Tasseography is the practice and process of using tea leaves or coffee grounds to forecast, understand, or improve upcoming or current events. This can be used for planning ahead, or for personal growth, healing and development. One nearly finished a loose herbal concoction, and then flips the remaining biological powders onto a small plate. They then scry based off of the shapes or symbols the leaves lie in. Below are aspects to consider whilst using this method of divination.

Interpretations:

Symbolism:

There are numerous factors to consider from a representation approach. Which is why most use a plate and cup inscribed with key symbols with their corresponding location. That aside, animals, numerology, symbols, or signs also are important to be considered by the placement of the herbal remains as well.

Directions:

Most practitioners divide their cup into segments of based off of the directions, zodiac signs, planetary symbols, and elemental aspects. Hence, the beautiful aesthetic from the almanac or legend of a Tasseography tea-set. Considering that each direction has its own element and meaning in countless cultures across the world, there is many ways to interpret this from the Feng Shui Bagua, the Pentagram, or Earth Medicine almanacs.

First Glance:

The first thing you notice or recognize as a symbol is something that is important to consider, although should not be your only takeaway. Intuition at its finest will help provide clarity because your first sight is just as important as your analyzed inquiry. Once both are considered and potentially seen as a synchronization, you will have your takeaway.

Horizontal:

Considering this element is massively important because it is the method or process of seeing one’s entire life in a past, present, and future manner. This can be an essential aspect for those who are trying for introspection, emotional healing, or personal growth. The left is past influences, the middle is current events, and the right is upcoming occasions.

Symbolism:

Animals:

Bird:

Fortune, positivity, wealth, travel, freedom,and a likely exploration.

Butterfly:

Transformation, accomplishment, and pleasure.

Dragon:

Massive and sudden shifts or changes lie ahead of you.

Eagle:

Attainment, admiration, nobility, favour, and reserves.

Elephant:

Immense prosperity, wellbeing, and luck are ahead.

Owl:

Deceit, deception, loss, probable illness, or deprivation.

Pig:

Faithful love and romance, but jealous or lying friends.    

Rat:

Defeats or failures from adversaries, possibly in a job sense.

Worms:

Deceit, treachery, dishonesty, and deception, defeat, or loss.

Nature:

Clouds:

If clear, trails and troubles are to come. If surrounded by dots, monetary success is coming.

Clover:

Upcoming luck. The higher up its located, the sooner it will come.

Mountain:

Forthcoming impediments, obstacles, and challenges.

Mushroom:

Rebirth, shifting, transformation, everlasting growth.

Trees:

Prosperity, direction, growth, happiness, and luck.

Planets:

The Moon:

Introspection, receptivity, compassion, and affluence.

Mars:

Movement, action, progress, vigor, and lustful love.

The Sun:

Stamina, energy, vitality, triumph, and opportunities.

Venus:

Romance, femininity, compassion, and love.

Shapes:

Anchor:

Stability, Stagnancy, permanence, and immobility.

Angel:

Fortune, positivity, and potential true romance.

Apple:

Health, longevity, academic or professional success.

Aries:

Strength, intensity, lust, and scorching emotion.

Axe:

Challenges overcome, victory and triumph.

Boat:

Reunification, fellowship, familiarity, and support.

Bowl:

Containment, summer, light, and Litha.

Bridge:

A wonderful voyage to embark on lies ahead of you.

Candle:

Enlightenment, guidance, illumination, and warmth.

Car:

Impending prosperity, fortune, and achievements.

Chain:

Accountability, a sequence of occasions, and stagnancy.

Circle:

Future prosperity, wealth, presents, or material gain.

Clouds:

If clear, trails and troubles are to come. If surrounded by dots, monetary success is coming.

Clover:

Upcoming luck. The higher up its located, the sooner it will come.

Compass:

Guidance, direction, backing, assistance, and support.

Crescent:

Introspection, receptivity, compassion, and affluence.

Cross:

Delayed developments, troubles ahead, or possible loss.

Crown:

Triumph, magnificence, incentives or gifts, and admiration.

Cup:

Achievement, celebration, emotional healing, and purification.

Dagger:

Love, encouragement, assistance, and support from allies.

Downwards Arrow:

Mistaken direction, unpleasant choices, no.

Gun:

Discord, tension, slander, defamation, and disharmony.

Hammer:

The journey and trials you have faced have been overcome.

Hat:

Accomplishment, success, and achievement in general.

Heart:

Affection, romance, love, passion, and companionship.

Horizontal Arrow:

Smooth advancement, solidity, and stability.

Horseshoe:

Fortune, luck, prosperity, and protection.

Hourglass:

Imminent danger, hazard, threat, or upcoming obstacle.

House:

Stability, victory in profession or corporate choice.

Knots:

Apprehensions, concerns, tension, worry, and pressure.

Ladder:

Advancement, improvement, development, and progress.

Lines:

Positive journey, movement, rebirth, and shifting.

Pear:

Social status, wealth, prosperity, and admiration.

Peace Sign:

Harmony, synchronization, teamwork, and unity.

Squares:

Stability, relaxation, luxury, tranquility, and serenity.

Stars:

Success, fortune, strength, energy, and imaginative creation.

Triangles:

Unexpected prosperity, victory or luck lie ahead.

Wheels:

Transformation, Progress, positive advancement, and change. Symbols:

Ring:

Harmony, love, partnership, alliance, and marriage.

Scissors:

Arguments, disputes, separations, or possibility of ailment.

Spiral:

Livelihood, bliss, innovation, creativity, solutions.

Umbrella:

Struggles, aggravations, provocations, and endurance.

Upwards Arrow:

Positive outcomes, a definite yes if you asked a question.

[Book Review] Planetology by Annie Botticelli

Slated for release on December 8th, 2020, Annie Botticelli’s new book, Planetology features a cornucopia of celestial magic. The focus is planetary, as the title hints, and specific to the inner planets.

Planetary magic is a perennial interest of mine. Most astrologers agree that the Moon, Sun, Mercury, Venus and Mars occupy a central place in our charts. We refer to them as the “personal planets” for that reason.

I would argue their energies are more readily available to us magically than those of the outer (often called “generational”) planets. For the beginner, Planetology and its focus on the inner planets provides a solid springboard for celestial magic.

Planetology emphasizes techniques for manifestation. Now, this is an oft-used buzzword in some circles, but here, the author seems to really understand the concept.

It’s not a matter of just “attracting” by thinking “positively;” she acknowledges that what might be positive in one situation might be negative in another. A planet like Mars can help us magically just as readily as the Moon, albeit in different ways.

Planetology includes a section on each planet, while discussing its strengths in terms of magic. Rather than focus on simply “bring good things,” she discusses the particularities, offering the reader a wide array of techniques for invoking specific celestial energies.

The book focuses mostly on practicalities and manages to avoid too many theoretical details, while directing readers to other relevant sources that provide this. Some will criticize this decision on the part of the author, but I fully understand it.

Astrology, to me, is one of the few occult arts best approached with practical generalities followed by zooming in deeper. This book will ground the reader in the basics of the personal (inner) planets, and provides the tools for further study.

The author’s descriptions of concepts like chart progression and material correspondences work well without overwhelming the reader with unnecessary detail.

I would’ve liked a larger explanation of the author’s own astrological philosophy, though. It quickly became apparent that she favors the causative view with regards to the planets rather than interpreting them as omens. Both perspectives interest me, and I would have loved to read more about this approach.

The book contains an entire chapter on planetary-inspired Emotional Freedom Technique (aka “tapping”) routines. I know little about EFT, so I cannot speak much about it. The book explained it well, but it’s still an unfamiliar technique for me.

It seemed odd to include in an astrology book, but she did provide necessary background information. I’m left with the sense that, while unfamiliar to a lot of us, “tapping” might well be useful to investigate.

Overall, I give this book four out of five stars. Portions of the book flow awkwardly, and seem a bit disjointed. My copy was an ARC, and this might read differently in the final version.

Regardless, the positive aspects outweigh any awkwardness. I will be happy to recommend it to witches just beginning to learn celestial magic, and who’ve an interest in the planets.

We are entering into another Eclipse Season with a Lunar Eclipse in Taurus. The main download I have received for the collective is to balance the spiritual and material sides of yourselves.

Look back to late May and early June, when we were in the first eclipse season of the year. What was stirred up in your life? You might finally find closure in that area now. Or perhaps new changes will emerge.

The Full Moon is going to be aspected by Jupiter, Mercury and Pluto. With all these planets working together, there is an amazing opportunity to bring your desires into life, if you do it right.

Some of us may feel feel a new sense of ambition and alignment but there's also a strong possibility of becoming overly emotional and sensitive.

Working with eclipse energy can be quite challenging and you should be extra careful with your intentions, as it may backfire on you. Be careful what you wish for!

🌙 What to focus on:

🌙 Watch out for:

Mermaid AU | Hermione was born in Tom Riddle’s era, and was one year ahead of him in Hogwarts. 

This is Part I. There is a Part II coming up

hedonism is good actually rich people just suck at it

i think not only do we have a moral obligation to preserve human life but also a moral obligation to maximize the pleasure of others and ourselves (provided it doesn’t hurt anyone)

people don’t just deserve to eat food, they deserve to eat good food that tastes good without worrying about nutritional content

people don’t just deserve clothes, they deserve nice clothes that are well made and fit their personal style

people don’t just deserve the bare minimum, they don’t just deserve to be alive, they deserve to live and have nice things for no other reason than making that particular person happy

Free Ancient Greek Magic/Witchcraft Books

Do I have a reason to make this post? No, not really. But I thought I should spoil my followers — y’all are the reason I create these posts, and I hit 1,100 followers! I’m shocked, thank you so much!! Therefore I shall spoil y’all, as you deserve. I love you funky bois so let’s go!!

Czytaj dalej

—

Now I know this is gonna make me sound old as shit but I gotta say it:

When I was started learning about witchcraft around 15 years ago, all 'witchcraft' books were wiccan books and they were all fucking awful. You might find 3 books in the back corner of a bookstore and they were all misinformation and blatant lies about history. You might also find a couple books about tarot, dream interpretation, healing crystals and natural remedies but that was IT. To find out any real information you had to do extensive research in historical and anthropological texts and academic journals.

So while there are thousands of 'witchcraft' books available nowadays (I saw 6 sitting on the same shelf as popular self-help books in KMART today)... they're all watered down and 'socially acceptable' spells for love, money and self acceptance....

Dont get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I dont have to hide my practice as much as I had to years ago but... a lot of the witches I meet now are swimming in the shallow part of the pool while thinking they're delving in the deep seas. This lack of understanding isn't their fault though, just as it wasn't mine when all I had was books that only shared personal gnosis and misinformation.

The problem with flooding the market with shallow 'witchcraft' books, is that these books don't really help new witches and they don't help experienced practitioners either. For newbies these books can touch on some of the basics while simultaneously giving the reader the impression that this book will tell them EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO KNOW. The majority of these books also don't help experienced practitioners because they either share a rehash of 'common knowledge' or they make witchcraft out to be this fluffy-bunny, white-washed, appropriating crap.

Now, I know that this post will likely offend people, and for that I apologise. This was simply a frustrated rant by a witch who has seen too many terrible 'witchcraft' books.

what books would you recommend?

Unfortunately, its not so easy to just recommend a list of books because it would be snippets from an entire library. I will elaborate:

The majority of my practice is built around history books, recorded folklore, academic journals and anthropological texts. My general rule of thumb is, if the author cannot bother to include a workes cited, end notes or any sort of referencing system to say where information originated from then it should all be considered personal gnosis. Which isn't wrong - it's a bit like reading a diary; it's a great primary source into the thoughts and perspective of the author but it can include misinformation and bias that they believe as fact.

Now, historical sources also can't be treated as gospel and have to be taken with a heavy pinch of salt because of academia's racist interpretations of history for the last hundred years. Another thing to consider is that the majority of people in academia who write papers and publish this information about historical witchcraft... don't practice witchcraft themselves so the lense through which they understand the material is skewed and can lead to misunderstandings.

So as I said at the start, no one book will give you a complete picture of witchcraft. Some will give context and primary sources. Some will give snippets of historical practice which can be misinterpreted due to either preconceived notions about what witchcraft 'should' be or personal biases of the author.

We are all human. We are all inherently opinionated and biased. This cannot be helped. That's why its important to read a wide variety of texts critically and then test out what you learned in practice. It is only through this gruelling back-and-forth process of in-depth research and personal practice can you grow in your practice.

I'm sorry there's no easy answer for you. I wish it was easier for people to learn witchcraft but I guess that's the real rite-of-passage isn't it; if you want to practice witchcraft you have to be willing to put in the time and hard work.

I’m going to suggest that if you wanna get good at witchcraft/magic the fist step you should really look into is learning a lot of science. like, don’t read witchcraft books, read everything else. hear me out:

people say “do research” but like, it’s not research if you’re just reading every witch book in the Barnes and Noble with no ability to tell when the author is talking out their ass or not. it’s important to be able to evaluate your sources and you can only do that if you have perspective from other disciplines, and it’s especially important with witchy stuff to stay grounded in reality.

I think it was the Caretaker of The Stars Skeleton talked about this a bit ago, but basically, meditating, spiritual stuff, all this can lead to a psychotic break even in people who aren’t predisposed to them. you need to stay connected to reality, to what is possible, if you are going to try and do these things on your own or with anybody else.

we’ve all met that weird intense and creepy pagan with rancid vibes who tries to like, touch your hands too much and make unblinking eyecontact because they are deffo trying to talk to you in your head. nobody wants to be around that person. if you wanna not become that person you gotta maintain your sense of perspective and stay grounded in reality.

the other thing you’re maintaining here is your ability to not get sucked into a cult or a folle a deux by maintaining your ability to say “that’s not real, that’s not how that works.” by having a rock-hard understanding of real physical reality, it maintains your ability to tell crazy people to fuck off.

but I’d say it also helps the efficacy of your spellcraft. don’t fuck around doing rituals on the beach with candles and junk, find out what kind of offering you can give the sea that will actually help (it’s bones and shells) and why (the sea needs it’s calcium back)

Botany! Geology! Ancient History! Astronomy! the depth and breadth of human knowledge is at your fingertips!

I agree, a strong foundation in history and the natural sciences can provide an excellent starting point for witches beginning to practice.

Also, you can't just leave a gem like this in the tags!

the chronicles of narnia by c.s lewis

Because this is apparently stick up for wolves day.

Wolf reintroduction in Yellowstone has changed the ecosystem *significantly*.

One remarkable thing that was not predicted that demonstrates how interlinked these things are:

Wolf eat elk.

Elk eat fewer willows.

Willows become healthier.

Number of beavers increase.

Number of songbirds increase.

Overall health of streams increases.

Number of fish increases.

Water table stabilizes.

This is called a “trophic cascade” and we normally see them as bad things. But a positive trophic cascade is an amazing thing, and apparently nobody predicted this one.

What they didn’t predict was that wolf predation would keep elk on the move so they wouldn’t overgraze a specific area.

When the elk overgrazed the willows, they removed the best source of food for beavers during the winter.

Once that stopped happening, the beaver population rebounded and it turns out beavers are pretty good for the entire ecosystem.

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

IT’S STARTED

IT’S BEEN NOVEMBER JUST FOR FEW HOURS YOU ANIMALS

IM SAVING THIS IN MY FUCKKING QUEUE AND EVERY FUCKING NOVEMBER AT 12:00 AM IM FUCKING POSTING THIS

Omg I just saw this for the first time and I love it

Just a gentle reminder for tumblr users with anxiety, panic disorders or who get nervous quickly: 

- Chain mail, “reblog this or..” posts etc. don’t work. They’re not real. Nothing bad will happen if you don’t forward that mail or reblog that post. 

- “If you don’t reblog this, you’re a bad person” is a lie. You’re not a bad person for not clicking a button. 

- You are allowed to unfollow blogs that post triggering contents. 

- You’re not weak or a crybaby for avoiding things that are triggering. Far from it, you’re taking care of yourself. That’s amazing! 

we need to change the part of the history where yt ppl are given credit for “discovering” things that were never lost and were known by the indigenous ppl in the first place 

also they need to change the name officially 👌🏾

NOTICE WHEN YOU HEAR THE TRUE NAME IT SENDS A LITTLE SHIVER UP YOUR SPINE

“the smoke that thunders” is 100000% more badass

🌼SOME FLOWERS IN WITCHCRAFT🌼

Abundance: Arnica

Balance: Heather

Banishing negative energy: Lilac, Snapdragon

Beauty: Amaryllis, Pentas, Wolf’s Bane

Clairvoyance: Poppy, Queen Anne’s Lace

Communication: Datura (with Deities), Foxglove (with Fae), Pansy

Courage: Geranium, King Protea

Creativity: King Protea

Divination: Chicory, Damiana, Datura, Hibiscus, Pansy, Poppy, Rose

Dreams: Calendula (psychic dreams), Dandelion, Datura, Poppy

Energy: Carnation, Sunflower (sun energy)

Exorcism: Angelica, Dandelion, Datura, Henbane, Lilac

Fertility: Daffodil, Damiana, Foxglove, Geranium, Heather, Myrtile, Poppy, Queen Anne’s Lace, Sunflower

Friendship: Hydrangea, Passion Flower

Happiness: Calendula, Hyacinth, Lily of the Valley, Pansy, Scarlet Pimpernel, Sunflower, Tulip

Harmony: Gardenia, Iris, Jasmine, Lavender, Poppy, Rose, Violet

Healing: Arnica, Angelica, Calendula, Carnation, Chicory, Gardenia, Geranium, Heather, Lavender, Rose, Scarlet Pimpernel, Vervain

Hope: Daisy, Violet

Innocence: Daisy, Freesia

Invisibility: Poppy, Wolf’s Bane

Joyfulness: Birds of Paradise

Love: Buttercup, Daffodil, Daisy, Damiana, Datura, Foxglove, Gardenia, Geranium, Heather, Hibiscus, Hyachint, Iris, Jasmine, Lavender, Lilac, Orchid, Pansy, Pentas, Poppy, Queen Anne’s Lace, Tulip, Vervain, Violet, Yarrow Flower

Luck: Carnation, Chicory, Daffodil, Dandalion, Honeysuckle, Poppy, Violet

Lust: Damiana, Heather, Hibiscus, Queen Anne’s Lace

Marriage: Buttercup, Yarrow Flower

Money: Bergamot, Chamomile, Honeysuckle

Passion: Chamomile, Passion Flower, Rose

Patience: Aster

Peace: Gardenia, Iris, Lavender, Passion Flower, Poppy, Violet

Pleasure: Sweet Pea

Prosperity: Jasmine, Poppy

Protection:  Angelica, Arnica, Carnation, Datura, Dogwood, Foxglove, Geranium, Heather, Holly, Hyacinth, Lilac, Lily, Marigold, Rose, Scarlet Pimpernel, Snapdragon, Tulip, Vervain, Violet, Wolf’s Bane

Psychic Ability: Arnica, Calendula, Damiana, Orchid, Rose, Moonflower

Purification: Chicory, Dandelion, Lavender

Relaxation: Chamomile, Jasmine, Lavender, Poppy, Vervain

Removal of Curses/Breaking Hexes: Chicory, Datura, Hydrangea, Lily

Second sight: Henbane, Queen Anne’s Lace, Scarlet Pimpernel

Sensuality: Heather

Sexuality: Damiana, Foxglove

Sleep: Chamomile, Elderflower, Linden, Poppy, Violet

Spirit: Arnica (keeps unwanted spirits at bay), Bergamot (lifts spirit), Dandelion (summoning spirits), Heather (conjuring spirits), Honeysuckle

Spirituality: Jasmine, Queen Anne’s Lace, Rose

Strength: Carnation, Chicory

Success: Bergamot, Chicory, Sunflower

Tranquility: Lavender, Poppy, Rose, Violet

Transformation: Datura, King Protea, Moonflower, Scarlet Pimpernel

Vision: Angelica, Damiana, Datura

Vitality: Carnation

Wealth: Elderflower, Honeysuckle, Jasmine

Wisdom: Henbane

🌈Flower Colours and Magical Correspondences🌈

🌻🍂Flowers of the Month🍃❄️

🔱Goddesses and Associated Plants🔱

Source: Garden Witchery - Magic from the ground up by Ellen Dugan 

I accidentally created the most soothing drink in the world after trying to recreate the hot honey drink in Ponyo! I guarantee it will remove all stress and troubles, I’ve had like 3 today because it makes me so happy

I JUST MADE THIS AND IT’S SO TASTY   *(*´∀｀*)☆   omgggg   ♥ ♥ ♥

Tried immediately after reading this: confirmed to be delicious.

I know it sounds kind of weird, but it’s mild and sweet and just the right temperature for immediate consumption in any weather. Definitely give it a try!

my mom makes something a lot like this with herbal tea (lavender is a favorite) instead of water she calls it fairywine

I instantly made it after reading this and added some Cardamom seeds in it. It’s delish!!

Tarot Cheat Sheet

The Fool: Beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, free spirit. Reverse: Naivety, foolishness, risk-taking

The Magician: Power, skill, concentration, action, resourcefulness. Reverse: Manipulation, poor planning, latent talents.

The High Priestess: Intuition, higher powers, mystery, subconscious mind. Reverse: Hidden agendas, listen to inner voice.

The Empress: fertility, femininity, beauty, nature, abundance. Reverse: Creative block, dependence.

The Emperor: Authority, father-figure, structure, foundation. Reverse: Domination, excessive control, rigidity, inflexibility.

The Hierophant: Religion, group identification, conformity, tradition, beliefs. Reverse: Restriction, something to shake up routine.

The Lovers: Love, union, relationships, aligned values, choices. Reverse: Disharmony, imbalance, misalignment of values.

The Chariot: Control, willpower, victory, assertion, determination. Reverse: Lack of control and direction, aggression.

Strength: Strength, courage, patience, control, compassion. Reverse: Weakness, Self-doubt, lack of self-discipline.

The Hermit: Soul-searching, introspection, alone, inner guidance. Reverse: Isolation, loneliness, withdrawal.

The Wheel of Fortune: Good luck, karma, life cycles, destiny, a turning point. Reverse: Bad luck, negative external forces, out of control.

Justice: Justice, fairness, truth, cause and effect. Reverse: Unfairness, dishonesty, unaccountability.

The Hanged Man: Restriction, letting go, sacrifice. Reverse: Martyr, indecision, delay.

Death: Endings, beginnings, change, transformation, transition. Reverse: Resistance to change, inability to progress.

Temperance: Balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning. Reverse: Imbalance, excess, short term vision.

The Devil: Addiction, sexuality, materialism. Reverse: Detachment, breaking free, reclaimed power.

The Tower: Disaster, upheaval, sudden (brutal) change, revelation. Reverse: Avoidance of disaster, fear of change.

The Star: Hope, spirituality, renewal, inspiration, serenity. Reverse: Lack of faith, despair, discouragement. 

The Moon: Illusion, vision, dreaming, fear, anxiety, insecurity, subconsciousness. Reverse: Release of fear, unhappiness, confusion.

The Sun: Fun, warmth, success, positivity, vitality. Reverse: Temporary depression, lack of success.

Judgement: Judgement, rebirth, inner calling, absolution. Reverse: Self doubt, self blindness.

World: Completion, integration, accomplishment, travel. Reverse: Incompletion. Lack of closure.

Mom Adopts a “Dog”

So y’all keep blowing up my notes with the various Family Lore stories I’ve been telling, so I guess I should tell one on my parents now.

My Mother’s Father was part of the United Auto Worker’s Union, and during the 50′s and 60′s, was on strike a lot. My point is, grandpa got himself an entirely deserved reputation for being a sucker who loved animals, so people would dump thier pets on him. Hence, my mother grew up in a house with pets such as Picket the one-eyed tomcat, Tweety the Bald canary, Dummy the cat, Stupid Son of Dummy, Spooky Garbage Dog and Chiquita the Tarantula.  Eventually Grandma put her foot down when Grandpa brought home Gerta the Saint Bernard.

I say all this because it provides some context for how the following occured.

Mom and Dad had just moved in together (my parents dated for six years and were engaged for 13 days, driving everyone on both sides insane), and unfortunately, My mother’s German Shepherd, Cops, has just passed away due to bone cancer.  After mourning for a bit, Mom and Dad decided to get a dog together, as a couple.  

For context, my father had never owned a dog in his life.  His mother had ‘Pretty Bird” the budgie as a child but parrots are alien life forms, not pets.

So they go to the Palo Alto Animal shelter to adopt.  The year was 1987, and at the time, Palo Alto was… not a great place.  Lots of drugs, gangs and poor civic managment.  Mom told me that she learned to identify different types of gunfire while living there. They get there, and mom explains that she’s always had a preference for Big Dogs, and the guy’s face lights up.  Oh Yes, he says, We have a Big Dog.  For expirienced owners, yep, adoptable today, here we’ll give you a discount even-

Somehow my parents were not suspicious about this.

They were shown to the Animal in question, a Gorgeous blue-sable beastie with pretty golden eyes who immediately pressed herself against the fence and gave them the best PUH-LEEEEEEASE TAKE ME HOME puppy eyes 100lbs of canine can do.  Mom and Dad fall in love instantly.  They sign all the paperwork and take her home for $10, and name her “Mazel” as in “Mazel Tov.”

Within the hour, it becomes clear that something is amiss.

Cops had lived with his kibble stored in a plastic garbage can in the garage for six years without incident.  Mazel figured out how to open doors and got the locking lid off the can in six minutes, horking down about four pounds of the stuff before my mother notices that it’s been weirdly quiet.  Most dogs bark at or chase squirrels.  Mazel stalked and caught one the second day, presenting it to my mother like an offering.  Mazel knew all her commands but would clearly stop to consider before obeying, and trained my dad to give her good treats within a week.  The locks on the side-yard gate were undone, and she took a stroll around the neighborhood, but always retuned home for dinner.

After a week of gradually realizing that Mazel was smarter than most of the professors my mom worked with, they took her to the Vet for a routine checkup.

Dr. Hamada walked into the exam room, dropped the clip-board and said “Where the HELL did you get a Wolf?”

After a bit of prodding and a very-angry-dr.hamada-calling-the-pound, they determined Mazel was a high-content hybrid, probably with a husky, but was going to be a lil shit her entire life.  OK, said Hamada, I don’t like destroying animals and you’ve got a lot of expirience with dogs, so I’m okay with letting you keep her, but you should keep her away from small children because her Prey Drive could kick in.

Two years later, mom got pregnant with me.

Mazel noticed instantly, and reacted by digging a large hole in the yard and catching even more squirrels for mom, because she needed the protein or something.  That what you do when the Alpha Bitch is preggers, right?  Dig a den and ply her with food?  On the advice of my grandmother, my mom stayed overnight at the hospital once I was delivered, and dad went home with a shirt that had moms and my scent on it.  Mazel spent the whole night puzzling over it.

The next morning, when mom came home with me, there was the sudden and instantaneous recognition of PUPPY!!!!!! :D:D:D!!!!! PUUUUUUUPPY!!!!!!  and Mazel turned into the most aggressively maternal being I’ve ever met.  Playing with me on the blanket, sitting under my chair at meals (I was a messy eater), sleeping under my crib, teaching me to walk by letting me hang onto her fur and shuffle around.

Dr. Hamada thought mom was a madwoman, until he saw me holding Mazel’s mouth open and sticking my face in so i could look at her teeth.  He gave up when my mom announced she was pregnant with my sister.

I’m making living with a Wolfdog sound awesome, but it did come with some drawbacks:

PROS of growing up with a wolfdog, as a small child in the 90′s

When she was 17, Mom and Dad decided to add another room on to the house.  They rigged up the overhead tether so she could be outside but not underfoot for the contruction guys.  One morning, mom came out to notice them all milling in the side yard entrance, muttering worriedly.  When mom asked what was wrong, one of them explained that Carlos forgot to bring the Hamburger.  What do you need a hamburger for?  Asked mom, and they pointed down the side yard to where Mazel was sitting, doing her best Viscious Alpha Bitch Stare.

Apparently they’d never realized that she was on the VERY end of her tether there and couldn’t actually get to them, and had been scamming them for a big mac a day for a month.  Mom had my six-year-old sister pull her away to show she wasn’t dangerous and tired her best not to laugh but kind of failed.

Mazel ended up living to be 19 and a half, and except for some minor arthritis, remarkably hale until the day she passed away in her hole in the back yard while taking a nap.  I maintain that Death had to wait until she was sleeping to get a crack at her, or she would’ve taken his scythe for a chew toy.

Singing quartz 🎶 🎵