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come for the monsters, stay for the cannibalism

@wildehacked / wildehacked.tumblr.com

Wilde. She/her. My blog and my fiction are intended for adults. Wildehack on ao3

the problem with supernatural is that they never fucking committed to anything

if it was going to be a tragedy, make it a fucking tragedy. turn dean into john and make him hate himself even more, put sam back on the demon blood or bring back his psychic powers and make him evil for real, force cas to be unable to save dean and make him watch dean die in front of his own eyes, make jack slowly become corrupted with chuck's power and make the audience watch him becomes the puppet master we thought was defeated

if it was going to be happy, make it actually fucking happy!!! let them all live!!! let sam and eileen rebuild the hunter network from the ground up and turn the bunker into a shelter for hunters passing through, let dean and cas fucking talk about the confession, let dean open up a bar or a mechanic garage or even a silly little bakery and take on a bobby-esque role in regards to hunting, let cas reconnect with the angels and repair his relationship with heaven while also staying with dean and becoming a beekeeper, let jack be a fucking kid and use his powers only when he wants and let him make friends and learn what it's like to live

instead the show did both of these halfway and also badly

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Image description: a screenshot that reads the following;

“Nobody:

Girls that bullied goth kids in high school:”

Attached images are of Taylor Swift, a white woman with sunglasses, blonde hair, a black tank top reading “this is my fight song”, and green shorts. She is wearing a leather bondage harness. It is backwards.

my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth

okay guys, i need to say something controversial yet brave here.

you know this quote?

"I have love in me the likes of which you can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other."

THIS IS NOT A QUOTE FROM FRANKENSTEIN BY MARY SHELLEY.

it's a line from Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, 1994, an adaptation starring Robert De Niro and Kenneth Branagh. It's a metal line! It seems like Mary Shelley COULD have written it! But you gotta credit that to the screenwriters of a Kenneth Branagh vehicle.

seeing everyone just mindlessly sign up for threads despite all the clear warning signs feels like I’m living in Sailor Moon or a magical girl anime episode where the Monster of the Day just set up shop over night and their product is literally draining your lifeforce for the Dark Kingdom but people keep going there

buffy “i can fix her” summers & faith “i can make her worse” lehane immovable object unstoppable force knives to each other’s throats “you gonna kill me? you become me” then i kiss u on da forehead and later u stab me and we never get over it and we DO become each other, i have nothing more to add im just THINKING ABOUT IT

Anonymous asked:

I believe the context of the scared-looking cas gifs is that it's the time when dean found out cas was a virgin, and dean was all "not on my watch", so he took cas to a brothel so he could have sex with a woman while dean planned to just sit around drinking and waiting for him to finish up. that's cas's face when a sex worker actually approached him for sex. so yes, gay fear indeed.

LMAO that's amazing

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Dreamed that there was a mundane-setting TTRPG I’m going to call “Greg and Maureen” where the players are visiting a non-player character couple their characters are friends with. But the couple is going through a rough spot! The objective was to investigate their relationship and either to help their marriage or hasten their divorce. It’s always small town and you’re always staying at their house. Players could add a little flavor of how they knew Greg and Maureen and even choose some minor traits for them before the game.

I’d played the game with another group before, but I didn’t know there were multiple paths. There’s a note Greg writes confessing to something, but depending on the dice roll it’s a different note. The content of a major plot point depended on a 2d6 dice roll.

In the dream, I’d previously played a version where he confessed to cheating on Maureen with another woman, so I thought Maureen should see the note, but in the game we were playing, my friend Celia found the note, which actually said that Greg was dishonorably discharged from the army for a gay relationship (he’s bisexual) before he met Maureen, and that he had lied about having had an honorable discharge. So for a while I came off as an asshole because I kept saying that Maureen needed to know the contents of the note so that she could confront him about what he did to her, and my friend seemed to me to be unusually blasé about what I thought was an affair.

There were other possible notes. In other timelines he had never had an affair, never been in the army, never even loved her, etc. There was another possible note where you learned he’d lied to her that he was good at track in high school (imagine an impressive mile time, which my dream mind supplied as 6:40, though that won’t even get you into varsity level) when he was actually bad at track in high school (14 minute mile). This was a lie he’d told, like, once, and he and Maureen almost never talked about running or high school sports.

In every possible timeline, Greg was Utterly Wracked with guilt about his secret. Yes, even the high school track universe.

Also, if players had decided that Greg was white before the game, you could unlock a timeline where his secret was that his distant ancestors had been in league with THE Devil from Christianity between like 1830s and 1910s. (The devil was just their accountant. He was ashamed of them for non-devil reasons.) In this timeline, you could actually meet the devil.

You didn’t find a note in every timeline, so sometimes you had to work off other evidence. I had only ever played mainly investigating Greg, but you could also focus on investigating Maureen. I think the other players and I just suspected him of hiding something every time, due to our biases. Sorry Greg! Guess we weren’t real gregheads.

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Who want to play Greg and Maureen with me

couples i would retroactively make kiss onscreen/on the page/in the show if i had that power: -midge and susie. COME ON. -dean and cas. that poor dead gay angel deserved it -doug and hera. i don't know HOW, but that's not my job to figure out, okay, i just know i'd make them kiss if I could. -spock and kirk. right before "not in front of the klingons." -grace and frankie -faith and buffy -arthur and merlin i guess. not bc i'm that invested, just while i'm being the "granting a kiss to fictional couples who should have kissed" fairy. they stared at each others' mouths for many years, and for what -roy and jamie and keeley. big messy threeway kiss just before keeley kicks them out -the girls in bend it like beckham -robert downey jr and jude law in sherlock holmes 2009 -sam and frodo, page and screen -legolas and gimli but only in the book -will and hannibal, but honestly, they don't NEED it, not like midge and susie do. they have cannibalism which is like fifth base. -finn and poe, but also finn and rey -cesare and micheletto -costis and kamet -the leverage ot3, unless they kiss in the new show, sorry, i haven't seen it, but i feel like there would have been gifsets so -jane gloriana villenueva and petra -okay, fuck it, fine, i would also make kepler and jacobi kiss. like with all of these i don't get to rewrite anything else, i just get to shoehorn in a kiss somewhere.

i just watched s5 e6 and i am incandescent with how much I want susie and midge to kiss

like, is this show ultimately about the love story between susie and midge? yes, obviously. do i love that this weird fraught not canonically romantic love story is at the heart of a show that looks, on the surface, like it should be a het romcom? yes, obviously. is this queerbaiting? no, it's doing whatever grace and frankie was doing, although it is bullshit that they don't show us susie having all the casual sex i'm 100% positive she was having, especially in these flash-forwards.

but.

IT'S JUST REALLY PERSONALLY MADDENING TO ME HOW MUCH SUSIE AND MIDGE WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER AND AREN'T KISSING EACH OTHER

just got to s5ep8, and Hedy, the great lost love of Susie's life, just had this conversation with her about Midge: Hedy: You really believe in this girl. Susie: I do. Hedy: Is it more than that? Susie just looks at her. Hedy: This was hard for you. Coming here. This was hard for you. Susie walks silently away. SO SUSIE IS TEXTUALLY IN LOVE WITH MIDGE, HUH.

now midge and susie are talking about hedy, who susie was with in college, until hedy graduated and got engaged. susie rants for a bit about how now hedy's a blonde. midge: so, was that the only time you've ever been in love? susie: yes. and the last. pause. midge: I think you'll fall in love again. susie: yeah, and it'll have the same disastrous outcome. midge: why would you say that? susie: were you ever a blonde? midge: yes. college, for a bit. susie: I figured. I AM SO ANGRY THESE WOMEN DON'T KISS

that was the most romantic ending a theoretically platonic couple has had since grace and frankie. what the fuck.

i just watched s5 e6 and i am incandescent with how much I want susie and midge to kiss

like, is this show ultimately about the love story between susie and midge? yes, obviously. do i love that this weird fraught not canonically romantic love story is at the heart of a show that looks, on the surface, like it should be a het romcom? yes, obviously. is this queerbaiting? no, it's doing whatever grace and frankie was doing, although it is bullshit that they don't show us susie having all the casual sex i'm 100% positive she was having, especially in these flash-forwards.

but.

IT'S JUST REALLY PERSONALLY MADDENING TO ME HOW MUCH SUSIE AND MIDGE WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER AND AREN'T KISSING EACH OTHER

just got to s5ep8, and Hedy, the great lost love of Susie's life, just had this conversation with her about Midge: Hedy: You really believe in this girl. Susie: I do. Hedy: Is it more than that? Susie just looks at her. Hedy: This was hard for you. Coming here. This was hard for you. Susie walks silently away. SO SUSIE IS TEXTUALLY IN LOVE WITH MIDGE, HUH.

now midge and susie are talking about hedy, who susie was with in college, until hedy graduated and got engaged. susie rants for a bit about how now hedy's a blonde. midge: so, was that the only time you've ever been in love? susie: yes. and the last. pause. midge: I think you'll fall in love again. susie: yeah, and it'll have the same disastrous outcome. midge: why would you say that? susie: were you ever a blonde? midge: yes. college, for a bit. susie: I figured. I AM SO ANGRY THESE WOMEN DON'T KISS

i just watched s5 e6 and i am incandescent with how much I want susie and midge to kiss

like, is this show ultimately about the love story between susie and midge? yes, obviously. do i love that this weird fraught not canonically romantic love story is at the heart of a show that looks, on the surface, like it should be a het romcom? yes, obviously. is this queerbaiting? no, it's doing whatever grace and frankie was doing, although it is bullshit that they don't show us susie having all the casual sex i'm 100% positive she was having, especially in these flash-forwards.

but.

IT'S JUST REALLY PERSONALLY MADDENING TO ME HOW MUCH SUSIE AND MIDGE WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER AND AREN'T KISSING EACH OTHER

just got to s5ep8, and Hedy, the great lost love of Susie's life, just had this conversation with her about Midge: Hedy: You really believe in this girl. Susie: I do. Hedy: Is it more than that? Susie just looks at her. Hedy: This was hard for you. Coming here. This was hard for you. Susie walks silently away. SO SUSIE IS TEXTUALLY IN LOVE WITH MIDGE, HUH.