Hypothetical Question: If you had to kill God, how would you do it?
Prepare without drawing attention to myself. All-knowing isn't all-attentive.
Then do it very, very quickly. If I fail, or if the god notices, the all-powerful and all-knowing aspects of said god will be my swift end.
I just need to be fast enough so that the god doesn't have time to either reverse time or heal themself.
not to minimize the gravity of war, but i need more people to know about:
bicycles have several advantages over horses & fuel-powered vehicles, with the result that bicycle infantry has in fact played a significant role in 20th century warfare...
it turns out that warfare sometimes involves battalions of bicycle-riding soldiers. (and while i personally am sick of war films, I'm willing to make an exception here because there really needs to be a movie about this.)
Ok but. Why did they do this
Bicycles were surprisingly practical for use by infantry soldiers! they're low-maintenance--they don't need fuel (often scarce in wartime) or the upkeep that horses and more complicated vehicles require. they're also lightweight enough to be carried across rough terrain, and quiet enough to allow for stealth. plus they're relatively cheap, widely available, and a hell of a lot faster than marching. there were even specially designed military bicycles (such as folding models), my very favorite being the rail bicycles designed to be used on railroad tracks. look at these juckers
yes that in an eight-seater
one of those generically cheerful Bless this Home (and all who enter) signs, but instead it says Memento Mori (remember that you must die)
so, i made a thing
Not quite the same concept (sorry to add on), but this is the sign I have right inside my door
I crave this. I need this. My house is a nuclear waste site, just like yours!
I see you, and in you, I see myself.
I’m so sorry. You are enough.
Story time:
In middle school biology, we did an experiment. We were given yams, which we would sprout in cups of water. We then had to make hypotheses about how the yams would grow, based on descriptions of yam plants in our books, and make notes of our observations as they grew.
Here’s what was supposed to happen: we were supposed to see that the actual growth of the plant did not resemble our hypotheses. We were then supposed to figure out that these were, in fact, sweet potatoes.
What actually happened was that every single student in every single class lied in their notes so that their observations perfectly matched their hypotheses. See, everyone assumed the mismatch meant they had done something wrong in the process of growing the plant or that they had misunderstood the dichotomous key or the plant identification terminology. And, thanks to the wonders of a public school education, everyone assumed the wrong results would get us a failing grade. We were trying to pass. We didn’t want to get bitched out by the teacher. Curiosity, learning, science - that had nothing to do with why we were sitting in that classroom. So we all lied.
The teacher was furious. She tried to fail every student, but the administration stepped in and told her she wasn’t allowed to because a 100% fail rate is recognized as a failure of the teacher, not the class. It wasn’t even her fault, really, though her being a notorious hard-ass didn’t help. It was a failure of the entire educational system.
So whenever I see crap like Elizabeth Holmes’s blood test scam or pharmaceutical trials which are unable to be replicated or industry-funded research that reaches wildly unscientific conclusions, I just remember those fucking sweet potatoes. I remember that curiosity dies when people are just trying to give their superiors the “right” answers, so they can get the grade, get the job, get the paycheck. It’s not about truth when it’s about paying rent. There’s no scientific integrity if you can’t control for human desperation.
IM NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT THE FUCK UP
[transcription:
Have you ever wondered about like cave paintings? Like, “What were they doing? These don’t… look very good,” -chuckles- In fact, almost every cave painting has Spaghetti Lines, which are webs of lines drawn over-top images, which you can see here.
-picture changes to a grayscale image of a deer standing in tall grass-
And here’s an example of natural Spaghetti Lines in nature, but we’ll get to that in a second.
-picture changes to a photo paleolithic drawing of a mammoth. Alongside the photo is a tracing of the drawing, to clarify the lines-
The second weird thing is like sometimes animals are given extra body parts, like here the mammoth has two trunks. And here, there’s a drawing of an antelope or a deer, it looks like, that seems to have two heads.
For a long time, people would assume like maybe the Spaghetti Lines were just some kind of paleolithic graffiti, and maybe the animals were these kind of religious creatures that they had mythologized. But then, in 1993, a German scholar went into this cave in southern France, and it changed everything.
Unlike the other caves he had been to, this one was very poorly funded, so it had no artificial lights, and he had to be guided in by a local farmer, with nothing but a flickering lantern to guide his way. Here is how he described the experience.
He said, “M. Lapeyre finished his story and wanted to move on. I encouraged him to remain and to slowly swing his lantern back and forth a few feet from the cave wall. As he moved the light, I saw the colors of the tectiform begin to shift. When the lamp arced to the left, the blacks faded, the browns became red and the red intensified. When the light moved to the right, the pattern reversed, creating a shifting color scheme. Moreover, the engraved lines under and around the tectiform became animated. Suddenly, the head of one creature stood out clearly. It lived for a second, then faded as another appeared. The spaghetti lines were no longer a confused two-dimensional pattern. Rather, they became a forest or a bramble patch that concealed and then revealed the animals within. By firelight, a secret of the cave painters was exposed. In the space of a few moments, I saw cuts and dissolves, change and movement. Form appeared and disappeared. Colors shifted and changed. In short, I was watching a movie.”
Understood this way, the antelope with two heads, under the dance of the firelight, is an antelope going from grazing to checking for predators. And the mammoth with two or three trunks becomes a mammoth in motion, swinging his trunk.
There’s something beautiful to me about knowing that hundreds of thousands of years ago, ancient humans descended into the depths to watch movies.
/end transcription]
Nintendo paywalling to the ability to play classic n64 and sega genesis behind a second paid online membership
so yes emulating is still morally right fuck these bastards
20 year old games for an extra 8 dollars on top of whatever how much Nintendo online costs already like you’re not even owning these games it’s a fucking rental service.
Just pirate.
Feel like this is something that would be useful here so here’s a link to a website with updated, working, safe emulators for 16 different consoles and handles.
It also has roms for said emulators and even pdf versions of the manuals.
HOW ADORABLE IS THIS KITTY
What is he filming
that is the porkiest kitten ever
I claim this human as mine!
OK, so since the Original post is a bit of an organizational mess and I’ve been getting asks and having to clarify things, here is the new, More comprehensible Recipe of JESUS TEA:
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, trained herbalist, or even a particularly good cook but this shit tastes like it came from God Themselves, and considently makes be feel drastically better when I get Colds, the flu or sinus infections.
PART ONE DO NOT SKIP: SALT RINSE
Ingredients:
Dissolve salt in small glass of warm water. Take large sips and gargle, then spit the water out, repeat until your throat feels like something you can breathe with insead of a rubber hose full of Pain Slime. My doctor explained once how the salt breaks up the mucus buildup somehow, but I was high off my mind on Dayquil and was distracted by her third eye and don’t remember.
Point is, gargling salt rinse will help with clearing mucus out of you swollen face and help with the pain and breathing.
Part B THE ACTUAL RECIPE:
Tools:
Ingredients:
HHOW TO MAKE THE THING:
FAQ:
Can I use this instead of Cold Meds? NO. This only treat symptoms and beyond staying hydrated, won’t help heal you. Be sure to get vaccinated if you can, and take the appropriate medications. If your fever/symptoms last for more than 5-7 days, go see a doctor ASAP becuase Influenza is a dangerous disease and NOT to be fucked with.
I understand full well that modern captialism is bitch and that it’s hard to get time off to be sick but you can help your fellow proletariat by frequently washing your hands and avoiding touching things, keeping your face covered when possible, and being kind to yourself when you’re off work.
A Note about Cold Meds: As I found recently, lots of cold medication can interact dangerously with lots of Mental Illness medictions like SSRIs, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers etc. If you’re on ANY kind of long-term medication, use a Drug Interaction Checker to make sure you don’t accidentally fuck yourself up like I have.
Can I put Booze in? I extremely reccomend NOT doing so, as Alcohol is a sedative that can interact badly with cold meds, and taking sedatives while you’re having trouble breathing is not a great plan. Don’t make your liver work overtime when you’re already sick. If you’re perfectly healthy and think this is tasty, feel free to add whiskey or whatever to it.
Can I substitute differnet Ingredients? Sure! This recipie is a general guideline and you can add or remove whatever you want. Some Reccomendations Adding tea: You could probably add a regular Black tea and have it taste fine. I don’t because the caffiene keeps me awake and I want to sleep when sick. If you can’t have chamomile, green tea will have simmilar effects and flavor, but it also has a tocuh of caffine to it.
I want it spicier! The Fire will heal me!: Add: More ginger, more cayenne, or a bit of sriracha at the end, with the honey.
I’m a spice weenie!: Less tumeric, ginger or pepper, maybe trim the lemon, but it’s good for your throat.
I can’t have Magic Bee Juice: That’s fine! Use whatever sweetener you like. I like honey because it tastes good and sometimes it helps throat pain the way others don’t.
On Apple Juices: Check the label of you apple Juice to make sure it’s the kind with 100% or more of your DV of Vitamin C, becuase that will help treat the uncomfotable symptons of your particular yuck and help you recover faster. Juicy Juice and Motts tend to be good brands.
On Meausrements: I’m an american and bad at math. Everything’s in nonmetric and I have no idea how to convert it to Civlized measurments. Sorry.
People have requested this recipie again, so here it is!
Some more notes: -Jesus Tea was named by the friend of mine who actually came up with the recipie on account of it ‘perforning miracles’ and ‘being easy to google when you’re sick and only have 2 functioning braincells’ -Jesus Tea is not affilated with amy religion and is free for all to use -Someone in the notes converted to metric but really I don’t measure things when making this. use enough.
It’s that time of year again folks! Get your flu shots, and hopefully you won’t Need this, but you may enjoy it in good health anyway.
Instead of apple juice, you can use orange juice (it fits better imo), or just plump in a few of those dissolvable vitamin C tablets in there.
The good thing about The Immunity Spice is that there is virtually almost no upper limit to how much you can consume - just remember to drink enough water, since vitamin c requires it to get processed by your body. But aside from that, you might start feeling slight discomfort in the stomach after ingesting around a gram at once. So like, 10 tablets if I'm not mistaken? But that's only from irritating the stomach by ingesting such amounts at once, so spread them out throughout the day and you should be good. After some surgeries you can recieve a few grams of vitamin C daily by IV and most people don't even know that. This shit is super safe, and the benefits scale. It's truly a miracle that such an incredible vitamin with such immunity boosting properties exists.
OK, so since the Original post is a bit of an organizational mess and I’ve been getting asks and having to clarify things, here is the new, More comprehensible Recipe of JESUS TEA:
Disclaimer: I’m not a doctor, trained herbalist, or even a particularly good cook but this shit tastes like it came from God Themselves, and considently makes be feel drastically better when I get Colds, the flu or sinus infections.
PART ONE DO NOT SKIP: SALT RINSE
Ingredients:
Dissolve salt in small glass of warm water. Take large sips and gargle, then spit the water out, repeat until your throat feels like something you can breathe with insead of a rubber hose full of Pain Slime. My doctor explained once how the salt breaks up the mucus buildup somehow, but I was high off my mind on Dayquil and was distracted by her third eye and don’t remember.
Point is, gargling salt rinse will help with clearing mucus out of you swollen face and help with the pain and breathing.
Part B THE ACTUAL RECIPE:
Tools:
Ingredients:
HHOW TO MAKE THE THING:
FAQ:
Can I use this instead of Cold Meds? NO. This only treat symptoms and beyond staying hydrated, won’t help heal you. Be sure to get vaccinated if you can, and take the appropriate medications. If your fever/symptoms last for more than 5-7 days, go see a doctor ASAP becuase Influenza is a dangerous disease and NOT to be fucked with.
I understand full well that modern captialism is bitch and that it’s hard to get time off to be sick but you can help your fellow proletariat by frequently washing your hands and avoiding touching things, keeping your face covered when possible, and being kind to yourself when you’re off work.
A Note about Cold Meds: As I found recently, lots of cold medication can interact dangerously with lots of Mental Illness medictions like SSRIs, antipsychotics, mood stabilizers etc. If you’re on ANY kind of long-term medication, use a Drug Interaction Checker to make sure you don’t accidentally fuck yourself up like I have.
Can I put Booze in? I extremely reccomend NOT doing so, as Alcohol is a sedative that can interact badly with cold meds, and taking sedatives while you’re having trouble breathing is not a great plan. Don’t make your liver work overtime when you’re already sick. If you’re perfectly healthy and think this is tasty, feel free to add whiskey or whatever to it.
Can I substitute differnet Ingredients? Sure! This recipie is a general guideline and you can add or remove whatever you want. Some Reccomendations Adding tea: You could probably add a regular Black tea and have it taste fine. I don’t because the caffiene keeps me awake and I want to sleep when sick. If you can’t have chamomile, green tea will have simmilar effects and flavor, but it also has a tocuh of caffine to it.
I want it spicier! The Fire will heal me!: Add: More ginger, more cayenne, or a bit of sriracha at the end, with the honey.
I’m a spice weenie!: Less tumeric, ginger or pepper, maybe trim the lemon, but it’s good for your throat.
I can’t have Magic Bee Juice: That’s fine! Use whatever sweetener you like. I like honey because it tastes good and sometimes it helps throat pain the way others don’t.
On Apple Juices: Check the label of you apple Juice to make sure it’s the kind with 100% or more of your DV of Vitamin C, becuase that will help treat the uncomfotable symptons of your particular yuck and help you recover faster. Juicy Juice and Motts tend to be good brands.
On Meausrements: I’m an american and bad at math. Everything’s in nonmetric and I have no idea how to convert it to Civlized measurments. Sorry.
People have requested this recipie again, so here it is!
Some more notes: -Jesus Tea was named by the friend of mine who actually came up with the recipie on account of it ‘perforning miracles’ and ‘being easy to google when you’re sick and only have 2 functioning braincells’ -Jesus Tea is not affilated with amy religion and is free for all to use -Someone in the notes converted to metric but really I don’t measure things when making this. use enough.
It’s that time of year again folks! Get your flu shots, and hopefully you won’t Need this, but you may enjoy it in good health anyway.
Do you like poems?
yes! my favorites are The Tiger and the unnamed werewolf fridge poem
for context these are the poems
also I almost forgot but the r/ambien Gives Us The Sleep post takes a completely serious third place in my favorite poems list:
and COMING IN HOT at NUMBER FOUR on my list, it's Fragment 147! an accidental poem created when the original parchment containing a text by Sappho was used to stop a wine jug more than 2,000 years ago- eventually the wine dissolved most of the parchment, leaving just a few words and BOY do they prove that the Universe has a sense of irony.
I COME TO YOU WITH AN IMPORTANT NEW ADDITION TO THE ACCIDENTAL POETRY LIST, FROM OUR VERY OWN TUMBLR DOT COM:
I love contemplating how actually scary this is. Nothing in horror movies affects me anymore but I get the most wonderful chills from the idea of these beautiful, haunting, mindless things just hovering in this murky water like a minefield for anyone foolish enough to go swimming or unlucky enough to fall in. How it’s still not as bad as being a fish small enough for them to paralyze and consume. How they regularly paralyze and consume fish but evolved before anything like a fish ever existed. A fish is such a complex creature that can see and think and navigate and be afraid but sometimes it touches these brainless, boneless, ghostly things that were just already there, millions of years sooner, and it dies and it never understands why that is. The thing that killed it and ate it doesn’t know either, it doesn’t know anything. It doesn’t have enough of a brain to even realize it has killed and eaten something. Some of its cells simply fired little harpoons into the cells of the other thing, and squirted deadly chemicals into them, and hauled up the paralyzed body to digest it. It’s a spider’s web without a spider but it still fills things with venom and eats them. :)
Hey now, Jellyfish may not be smart, but they’re not entirely mindless. People say that they don’t have brains, but that’s because they’re ALL brain. they are just floating nervous systems, covered in microscopic eyeballs that let them see in every direction.
as I type this, I realize that that makes them sound so much more horrifying.
People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.
An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.
Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.
It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…
It’s an ant again.
Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.
This is madness.
People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.
An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.
Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.
It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…
It’s an ant again.
Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.
This is madness.
my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time
Bow down to your king
I can’t stop outdoing myself
Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right
So sad that if you don’t know your rights they will abuse their power, fucking disgraceful
